What About Us
by CullenMysteri
Summary: You never realize how fast things can change between two people. When unforeseeable circumstances tear two best friends apart, can they find their way back to each other, and fix their broken hearts?
1. Chapter 1

Story Disclaimer: I do not own anything related or any part of Twilight...damn.

**What About Us**

BPOV

Intro

You never realize how fast things can change between two people. Especially when they have been great friends for years and seem to mean the world to each other. You hear about best friends finding love in each other and think that it's the closest to a fairy tale one can get. What you don't realize is just as easily it can turn into your own nightmare. The question is, if what you think you want is worth the pain and fight in the end. Can your fairy tale come true?

Chapter 1

"So Mike and I broke up yesterday." I told him as we sat in our meadow.

The meadow was a place we often hung out to get away from everyday life. It was a nice place to sit and relax, and talk about anything that is on our minds. The company wasn't bad either. My best friend, Edward, and I found this place by accident on a walk a few years back.

"Good, it's about time you two split. He wasn't right for you." Edward replied. He never really took a liking to Mike, it only got worse when I told him we started dating a couple months ago.

"It's funny, you say that about any guy I date. If I didn't know better I would think you were jealous." I replied. It's hard enough finding a boyfriend when your best friend is a boy, it only got worse when that friend didn't approve and spent his time trying to scare them off.

"You know I'm not, I just don't want you dating a scuzz ball. You can do better than that."

"You keep saying that. I don't know if you realized this, but there is a short supply here in Forks. If I plan on dating, I have to work with what's available." I said matter-of -factly, a small smile growing on my face.

"You don't _have_ to date, you know. It's not like a requirement or anything. I don't think you'll fail any classes or let your parents down if you don't date." He said, starting to smile his perfect crooked grin back.

"I don't see you forgoing dating due to the less than optimal choices of girls around. When you stop, I will stop. How about that?"

We continued on like that for awhile. This was a popular topic for us. Neither of us really ever liked the people the other chose to date. Not that our dates were really fond of Edward and my friendship. It just wasn't commonplace for opposite genders being close friends without being involved.

The idea of Edward being more than a friend had crossed my mind a few times. He was a good companion. He listened to anything I had to say, he was always able to cheer me up and knew almost everything about me. He couldn't really complain about my date if it were him. I decided to bring it up to him soon. Maybe we could try it out.

***o0o0o0o0o0o0o***

We generally spent Friday nights together. It was a little tradition we had, hanging out at the beach at night and listening to music we had come across. We both loved music, so if we came across anything new we always shared it with the other person during that time. We liked to keep a well rounded take on music, always growing our collection.

This Friday night would be a little different though. I decided I would bring up the dating idea to Edward then. I was a little nervous, but it can't hurt to mention it, right? We really were great together, and had much more in common than anyone else we could date would have with us.

Friday came around finally. After I got home from school I grabbed my bag of toiletries and jumped in the shower to start getting ready for tonight. I got dressed in my jeans and a charcoal gray knit v-neck sweater. I put on some makeup and tried to do my hair a little more than normal. I have mahogany hair that mostly liked to do its own thing. I managed to get it mostly straight with a bit of a wave to the end. I put on a little eye shadow, there isn't much you can do to enhance my chocolate brown eyes, but I wanted to look a bit nicer than usual if I was planning on trying to get Edward to see me as more than just a friend.

He came by to pick me up with his older brother, Jasper. Jasper was a good guy and just turned 16 so he would usually take us where we needed to go. He pretty much jumped at any chance to drive his car. I left a note for my dad, Charlie. He was Chief of Police and usually worked late. My mom was off on some retreat. She liked to jump hobbies pretty quickly and right now she was on a self improvement retreat. I walked out to the porch and locked the deadbolt. Edward got out of the car to open the door for me, always the gentleman.

We drove out to the beach, grabbed our stereo and blankets, said bye to his brother and made our way to the shore. We laid everything out and sat down on a blanket while wrapping the smaller ones around ourselves. I was starting to get nervous about talking to him about this, I wasn't sure how to bring it up, or if I should just lean over and kiss him. I was glad he was distracted trying to find the CD he had wanted to put in first. He was way too perceptive of me and would be able to tell something was up if he wasn't otherwise occupied. I usually never had to pursue a boy before. They usually came to me first. I still don't understand that though. I had a hard time with not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings so I usually caved and would date them. My mom always said get a variety while you can, cause once you marry it's all over. I still think it's a bit weird for a mom to want her 15 year old daughter to date around, but I guess whatever works for her.

"Alright, I know you are picky about your classical, but just listen to this group and give them a chance. I think you will really like them if you just listen and really try to _feel_ what they are trying to say with their music." Edward, the musician, said snapping me back into reality. He loved classical music and always paired it with emotion. I didn't fully understand it, but I'm willing to give anything a try.

"You know I will, I've never rejected anything you bring without giving it a proper chance first." I responded.

The music started and while listening I started grinning. Leave it to Edward to supply perfect background music for the conversation I wanted to have with him tonight. The music really was beautiful, and the intensity Edward showed while listening to it only confirmed my ideas of wanting to date him. He was wearing his dark denim jeans and a green henley that clung nicely to his slight muscles with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His legs were straight out in front of him and he was reclined a bit leaning his weight onto his arms behind him. He had his head tilted back with his eyes closed and was humming along to the music. The almost full moon was shining on his bronze hair, mix that with the wind blowing and it looked like it had a life of its own. He had just a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

I know the music should be calming me, but with the way he looked and the conversation fully taking over any prominent part of my brain, I know I had no hopes of relaxing until this was over with.

"Edward," I said, trying to will the rest of it out of me. Now or never, right?

"Hmm?" He replied, tilting his head toward me just a little, but not opening his eyes.

"Do you think you could ever see me as anything other than a friend?" I rushed out, just getting it all out so I couldn't chicken out, like I tend to do.

He opened his eyes and sat up quickly. He looked mostly straight ahead, but kept glancing at me with his smug, crooked grin.

"What do you mean?" he asked. I was hoping I wouldn't have to spell this out for him. What else could I mean?

"Well, I guess I really just want to know if you could have feelings for me that go beyond our friendship. If you could see me more as a girlfriend than just your best friend?" I explained, the last part coming out in just over a whisper. I really had no idea how awkward this was going to be. Why would he have feelings for me, we've only ever been friends. Why change things now, I 'm sure he could have anyone else and not have to jeopardize his friendship.

Before I could get any of my doubts out and try to back peddle, I noticed he was once again changing his position and all of a sudden he was sitting on his knees right in front of me, with his amazing pine green eyes staring straight into mine. He brought a hand up and put in on my neck, rubbing small circles on my cheek with his thumb. My heart stumbled a bit in my chest at his sudden closeness to me.

"I had wanted to mention something about that to you; actually, I just wasn't sure how you felt." He half whispered to me, still gazing intently into my eyes.

Just after he finished speaking he leaned into me, closing the small gap between us. His soft lips met mine and started moving slowly. After a half second of shock from his movement, I joined him, moving my lips along with his. We stayed like that for a moment. Then needing a little more, just to be sure of our feelings, I opened my mouth a little and bit his bottom lip to try to gain access to the rest of his mouth. He granted it and our tongues met and slowly started gliding around each others.

As we progressed our kissing he pushed me back a little to where I was lying down on the blanket and he was laying half on top of me, using one arm to help keep most of his weight off of me, and with his right leg resting between mine. I moved my hands to his back and traced patterns over his shirt. He moved his unoccupied hand to the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. I moved one hand under his shirt, playing with the newly exposed skin, while the other moved of its own accord to tangle in the soft hair at the nape of his neck. He let out a small moan as I grabbed a handful of the bronze mess. His hand moved from my neck, grazing down my arm and moving to my waist. He started playing with the bottom of my shirt, and the skin on my stomach. His hand started moving north under my shirt, as it hit the bottom of my bra I heard a loud noise come from behind us.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Hoooooonnnnnkkkkk!

Edward startled, and looked up from me, trying to figure out where it was coming from. I tried pulling his face back down to mine, not really concerned with anything but him at the moment, but met resistance.

"It's Jasper, we have to go." He said with chagrin.

I had never hated Jasper more than I did at that moment. I guess it's better that he honked than him walking over here to find us like this. I don't think he would bring us back out here if he knew this is what we were doing.

Edward stood up, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him. We straightened our clothes, gathered our blankets and the stereo, and walked back over to the parking lot. Edward opened the passenger door of Jasper's truck for me, and slid in after me. As we got close to my house, he finally turned to look at me.

"We should probably talk about this," he said quietly, with his lips against my ear so Jasper wouldn't hear him.

"Yeah, that would be a good idea. I can have Charlie drop me off tomorrow when he goes to work." I told him, not really looking forward to the talk, but not wanting to put it off either. I know I should just be happy with the events that happened, and knowing he feels the same way, but I also know that things can change over night. I'm afraid he will reconsider, then tell me tomorrow that he has changed his mind.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I guess I will see you in the morning then." He said as we pulled up to the curb outside my house. He got out, opened my door and walked me to the porch steps. He grabbed my hand, bade me goodnight and kissed me on the cheek. He gave my hand a quick reassuring squeeze and and shot me his gorgeous crooked grin, then went back to the truck. I stood there for a moment watching him walk away and felt the blush rush up my cheeks.

The front door was still locked which meant Charlie hadn't come home yet. I waved bye to them as I walked into the house and saw them drive off. I cleaned the kitchen of the dinner dishes then headed up to my room. I wanted to go to sleep but had a feeling my mind was going to stay busy with the thoughts of tonight. I decided to pull out my iPod and headphones and put on some Death Cab for Cutie to help me fall asleep. I laid there for awhile, just focusing on the music and singing to "Follow You into the Dark" and finally fell asleep as the song ended.

The next morning I woke up and hopped into the shower early to hurry and get ready before Charlie had to leave for work. I threw on some jeans a t-shirt and my sneakers knowing that we would probably trek to the meadow today. We went there anytime one of us needed to talk.

I walked downstairs to find Charlie cleaning up his cereal bowl and asked him to take me to Edward's on his way out. He agreed and then headed to his car. I grabbed a granola bar and a bottle of water and ran out of the house to catch up with him. We drove quietly to the Cullen's home. Charlie was never much for words, so most of my time spent with him was pretty quiet. We got there a few minutes later (it never took much time to get anywhere in Forks) and I said bye to my dad and ran up the steps and into the house.

Since Edward and I had been best friends for so long, I was pretty much a part of the Cullen family, which meant no longer having to knock on the door and wait for admittance. I waved at Jasper and Edward's mom, Esme, as I ran upstairs to find Edward. His room was on the third floor so I had a few flights to navigate.

As I neared the top of the last flight of stairs, my foot caught on the carpet sending me face first toward the floor. Just as I shut my eyes, expecting to meet the ground in true Bella fashion, soft hands caught around my waist and lifted me back up. When I opened my eyes, I was staring into the emerald green eyes of my Edward.

"Good morning," he said, giving me a small kiss and showing his crooked smile.

"Hi" was my intelligent reply, as I just smiled goofily back at him. I had never lost composure around him before, but I guess just as our relationship was changing, so was my ability to function properly around him.

"I was just going down to get some breakfast, if you'd like to join me" he said, still smiling.

"Sure, sounds good. You may want to let me go first so I don't take you down if I fall again."

At that he just laughed and threw me over his shoulder. "Now we can both make it down the steps without risking anyone getting hurt." I probably should have complained, but I _may _have been enjoying the way his butt looked in his jeans. It's possible.

When he got to the kitchen he plopped me down at the table then went to make plates for us.

"What do you kids have planned today?" Esme asked with knowing smile. Edward's mom was an amazing lady. Always so full of warmth for everyone. She had long caramel hair and pale green eyes. She also had a keen sense of knowing exactly what's going on around her. You never had to tell her anything, she always seemed to know exactly what was going on between people. I guess you could call it really good mother's intuition.

"I think we are going to go to the meadow for a little while." Edward answered his mom.

"Okay, well just be careful," she said looking straight at me, my clumsiness isn't really a secret around our wonderful small town, and definitely not hidden from his family. Edward's dad, Carlisle, is a Dr. and has treated me more times in the few years I've known them than most people get in a lifetime.

We left shortly after breakfast with our full picnic basket. It was custom that if we go to the meadow to have a picnic out there as well. We never want to leave once we get there, so we think ahead to avoid having to come back early.

Our trek out there went quietly, just saying a word here or there as needed. Edward made sure to keep a hand in mine or an arm near me, in hopes of giving me something to grip if - I mean when - the roots get the best of me.

We finally broke through the trees and into the clearing. The meadow was a perfect circle in the middle of the forest. It had wildflowers blooming this time of year and almost always managed to be bathed in sunlight. We laid out the blanket and sat down, bringing the food out of the basket, it takes awhile to get to the meadow, and always works up an appetite.

"So, should we talk about this now, and get it out of the way, or prolong it for a bit longer?" I asked, wanting to get through our talk and just be able to enjoy ourselves again.

"We can talk now, I just want to make sure we are on the same page. I don't want either of us getting hurt, in case it ends badly." He stated back. Edward generally liked to be very detail oriented. He always liked to know the outcome of things, and what people thought about them.

"Well, I would like to be your girlfriend, but I understand worrying about something going wrong. I think we can handle it though." I said feeling confident of our friendship. I mean, really, what could break us apart?

He agreed and everything was set for us. We decided we would go out and see how things worked out. We both felt confident about our relationship and knew we were strong enough as friends to deal with anything to come our way. We were excited to finally find our other half so to speak, it all seemed just right.

During the next few weeks everything went great. Luckily, since we were friends already, nobody really reacted to the new titles we held to each other. The worst we had was a few snide comments from those who felt they lost their chance. Most everything continued on the same, the only difference now was the physical contact we kept with each other. We always had a hold on each other one way or another. We would constantly hold hands or wrap our arms around the other; we would share kisses here and there as well. We tried not to do a lot of PDA; we were never fond of seeing it, and didn't want to contribute to that. We mostly saved that for our time alone together.

We had a couple dates throughout our time together. I think Jasper was getting tired of having to drag us along on his dates until he could drop us off somewhere. We mostly did the normal stuff, dinners, movies and strolls on the beach. He complained frequently about the lack of being able to go on more interesting dates, but us only being 15 put a damper on our options. He delved even more into his gentleman role and would frequently bring me flowers, or seemed to have some type of surprise for me. I tried to refuse them; I was never one for surprises. There really wasn't any way to refuse him though. He had a way of giving me a mixture of his crooked grin and piercing into me with his amazing green eyes. Simply put, he could dazzle me. Sadly, it didn't even take much. Just him looking at me made me melt. It was great finally being in a relationship with him; the one person who got me better than anyone else. No more stupid relationships, with boys who thought they knew everything, but was sorely lacking. The transition from friends to girl/boyfriend went seamlessly. I was really starting to fall for him more and more.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Tonight Edward and I decided to keep date night simple. We had been dating for a little over three months, and Jasper had refused to drive us out to Port Angeles this weekend, and the parents are all busy. I offered to cook dinner, as a way to still do something nice and he's going to bring over a movie. We opted to have it at my house as Charlie is working late again and my mom went to yet another retreat. Also, Edward's sister seemed to have a hard time adjusting to Edward and I dating. If we tried to watch a movie or spend time together there, she would make herself comfortable next to us. Made things a bit awkward.

I got dressed up for our date, actually putting on a dress for probably the first time in my life. I opted to cook shrimp alfredo and it was almost done. The breadsticks were finishing up in the oven while I set the table and put out the salad. While I was pulling the bread out of the oven, I heard the doorbell. I set down the food and walked over to answer it.

As I opened it, I took a small step back and gasped. Edward was standing in the doorway holding a mixture of wildflowers, the same kinds as the ones in our meadow. He himself looked stunning. He was wearing black slacks and a green button down shirt that brought out the color in his eyes perfectly. As I moved to let him in, he stepped forward and wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me into him. He leaned his head down and brought it down to meet the skin on my neck.

"You look amazing," he said in husky voice into the juncture of my neck, before placing a small kiss there, sending chills all throughout my body.

I turned my face to meet his and gave him a kiss. Once our lips met, I felt a jolt of electricity. We deepened our kiss a little more, then finally broke it off to close the door (don't really need the neighbors telling my dad anything) and eat our dinner. I found a vase to put the flowers in and set them in the middle of the table. Edward and I sat down and ate our dinner in a comfortable silence, while listening to some background music I put on. It was the same band Edward introduced that night at the beach when we decided to move past just friends.

After dinner we went into the living room to watch a movie. Edward brought over one of my all time favorites, Big Fish. We cuddled up on the couch, him stretched out with one leg along the back of the couch, and me sitting in between his legs with my back against his chest.

We were a good ways into the movie when my favorite scene came up, when he fills the field with daffodils. I started smiling and turned to Edward and said "At least you won't have to worry about doing something like that for me; we already have a meadow full of my favorite flowers."

"That's true, but I would do everything possible to make you happy." he replied and gave me a small kiss.

I quickly deepened the kiss, having such little time alone, we took any opportunity we had to make out. He grazed my bottom lip lightly with his teeth and I opened my lips to grant him access. He pulled me up toward him and flipped me over so I was laying over him, with my legs straddling his thighs. The kissing kept progressing deeper and our hands began to wander. I started unbuttoning his shirt and snuck a hand onto his chest, following the muscles and grazing his skin with my nails. He moaned and grabbed my waist and twisted a hand into my hair and pulled me up and closer to him. I put my other hand in his hair and grabbed a handful to hold on to.

His hands continued to rub over my back and moved to my side, slowly rubbing up and down it. I broke the kiss to breathe but kept contact the whole time. I trailed kisses all over his neck, his ears and down to his collarbone. He grabbed both sides of my waist and turned us over to where he was on top of me. My legs automatically came up and wrapped around his waist. I couldn't stand to have any extra space between us anymore. We continued kissing, only breaking every so often to kiss each other's necks and collarbones.

"If we don't stop now, I don't think I will be able to stop at all." He said in a husky voice next to my ear. I wasn't ready to stop yet, so I continued kissing his lips, his neck and occasionally nipping at his earlobe.

"Do you want to go up to your room?" He asked me a couple minutes later.

"Mhm" was all I could manage, mostly coming out as a whimper. I couldn't think of anything else except for Edward at that moment, and the almost imperceptible shifting of his hips that was starting to make me go crazy.

He picked me up, my legs still wrapped around him and my lips glued to his neck. He found his way to my room easily. He kicked the door shut behind us and laid me down on the bed. He took his shirt off the rest of the way, tossed it aside and laid back down with half of his body covering mine.

We resumed our kissing as his hand started kneading my stomach and sides then moved it to the tie holding my blue wrap dress closed. He slowly worked at the knot until it finally came undone. He brushed the fabric off of me and I managed to get my arms out of the sleeves. He threw it to the floor and I started to work on the buttons of his pants. I finally got them loose and pushed his pants and boxers to the end of my bed, tired of any barriers between us. I just wanted to get as close to him as humanly possible.

After that, time seemed to speed and slow all at once. It became a blur of lips and hands everywhere. Then every spot of skin touching, and with a short question, and even shorter answer, we were one.

It was amazing being a part of this moment with this angel. The awe of the moment luckily seemed to overpower a majority of the pain and almost embarrassingly quick, we had peaked.

Unfortunately, also in the awe of moment, we created our own bubble, blocking out any noise around us. Mostly, the sound of my door opening.

"What the...why...GET OFF OF HER...!" Shit, Charlie! Edward froze, stunned, and looked at the now open door, where my father was standing. At least he already hung up his gun belt.

"Isabella, what the hell do you think you are doing?" he yelled at me. Edward jumped off of me and started getting his clothes on. He looked more scared than I think I've ever seen anyone, even the actors in those horror movies.

"You, boy, get out of here! Get away from my daughter. You are never to come near her again...You hear me!" He continued yelling, this time toward Edward.

"Dad, you can't keep me away from him!" I yelled back, while sitting up and pulling my bed sheet over me, "I love him, I will always be with him!" I continued, almost in a rage. Edward was just standing in the corner, keeping quiet. I think I could actually see him shaking. Shouldn't he be saying something, trying to defend me, us, anything?

"OUT!" my dad yelled at Edward again, his face almost purple and pointed towards the door. Edward left, never even looking back, leaving me on the bed, still without clothes, to deal with my father alone. Without even an attempt to stand up for us. What happened to him saying he would do what he could to keep me happy? He broke that promise not even an hour after making it.

"Why'd you have to kick him out? I'm practically an adult! I can make my own decisions." I yelled back at him. I guess this is now just my battle to fight. I had tears starting to come out of my eyes. I had an array of emotions flooding me just then. Anger at my dad for ruining everything, anger and heartbreak toward Edward, wondering how he could just run from me like that. I was also so embarrassed at being caught.

I knew I had to call Edward and talk to him, see how he was doing and why he ran. I just really needed to hear his voice, for him to tell me everything was ok. Maybe he would be able to explain why he was so quick to leave me.

"I'm calling your mother, she needs to be here to deal with you, I can't even look at you right now! Get dressed!" He yelled the last two words as he walked out the door. I gathered my pajamas and got dressed, tears streaming down my face the whole time.

When I pictured my first time, I thought it would be romantic and sweet. We would whisper 'I love you' to each other and there would be roses and candles and piano music playing in the background. Maybe it was a bit cliché, but at least it would last a bit longer. I imagined we would lie in each other's arms all night, and wake up next to each other with big goofy grins on our face.

Instead I got a rash decision, in my bedroom at my parent's house. Then the rude awakening of my dad catching us. I'd stick with cliché any day.

I was broken out of my thoughts some time later, when I heard the front door slam shut, followed by my mother yelling "Isabella Marie, you get down here right now!"

I hope I make it through the night; it's never good when my mom gets involved. I slowly made my way down the stairs. Although I probably should have just thrown myself down them. At least then I would go unconscious and could prolong the argument I was headed into. Then Dr. Cullen could maybe sneak Edward in my hospital room so I could talk to him before dealing with my family.

As soon as I got down stairs my mother dove straight in, yelling at me at the top of her lungs. She covered what she could, as loudly as possible, telling me I was too young and stupid to partake in that type of activity and I was a disappointment to myself and my parents. I tried to defend myself, I told her I knew what I was doing and that I loved him. That started a whole new round of yelling. She said we were too young to know what love was, and asked if he even felt the same way. I went off into my own world at that moment. She kept yelling but I blocked out her voice.

Did Edward love me? He wouldn't have done that with me if he didn't. Would he? But he wouldn't have left like that if he loved me either. I think he felt the same as I did. He acted the same as I did. I never got a chance to tell him I loved him. If he loved me, wouldn't he have defended me against my parents, like they always do on tv? Shouldn't he have stuck up for us instead of just running off? I really need to talk to him about this. I need to see him. Maybe I can sneak out after my parents go to sleep.

I heard a shattering noise, which broke me out of my thoughts and made me take notice of what was going on around me. It seems my mom and dad took up arguing now. I saw a broken plate on the floor. That must have been the noise I heard. I got my habit of throwing things when I'm mad from my mother. It seems she is actively taking it up again now.

"I thought I could trust to leave our daughter here with you when I leave! I guess I was wrong! I leave her in your care and this is what happens! How do you even know that was the first time? She could have been getting away with this for a long time since apparently you don't keep an eye on her very well!" My mother yelled at my dad, throwing another plate at him.

Wait, what? Did my mom just call me a slut? Why would she even think that? I've never given them a reason to doubt me before. I've always been respectful, and mild mannered. I guess a lot of things are changing now.

"Hey, I'm doing the best I can. Some of us actually have to work around here! We can't just go off on retreats all the time. Maybe if you actually spent some time at home, you'd know what was going on and this wouldn't have happened."

"Isabella, pack your things, we are leaving!" My mom said to me in a stern voice after a bit more screaming at my dad.

"Mom, we can't leave, everything I love is here! Where are we gonna go? I can't leave Edward!" I started yelling through my fresh tears.

"We need to leave Forks, I've never liked it here anyway. I doubt Edward will even care if you leave. Charlie, I want a divorce. I'm not going to be stuck here any longer. Apparently you can't keep your family together anyways. Bella, go pack! NOW!" She yelled, reaching out to push me toward my room.

I ran up the stairs to gather a bag and some things. I wasn't sure how long we would be gone so I packed what I could. She can't really be leaving my dad, can she? Would she really try to tear me away from my Edward? I can't even begin to think of being away from him. He's been my best friend since he moved here. Now he means even more to me than he had before. I have to call him.

As I was flipping through my phone, trying to bring up Edward's number, my mom stormed into my room, grabbed my arm and my bag and took off with me down the stairs. She headed straight to the front door. She wouldn't even look at my dad. She threw open the door and said "Goodbye Charlie," and walked out with me in tow. She didn't give me a chance to say bye to my dad or anyone else for that matter. She threw our stuff in the back of the car and just drove south until she saw something she liked. We ended up driving for three days and finally ended up in Phoenix, AZ.

The whole drive I tried to call Edward. I only called his cell phone. I wasn't sure if by now his parents had heard what happened and I really didn't want to risk talking to either of them if they had. They were like a second set of parents to me, and I couldn't handle hearing about them being disappointed in me too. Edward never picked up. At first I thought he was still too upset to answer. However as the days passed on I continued to call and text him, and he never responded to any of it. On the fourth day I called and got a recording that the number was no longer in service. How was I supposed to get a hold of him now? I can't even try to think of having to deal with his parents. With a small town like Forks, everyone had to know by now what happened between Edward and I and with my parents. I decided to just wait; he will call me when he is ready. Won't he?

**EPOV**

I arrived at Bella's house for our date. We decided to have it at her house tonight and just keep it simple. When she opened the door, I was amazed with how beautiful she looked. She was wearing a dark blue wrap dress that complimented her skin and body perfectly. I gave her a kiss as she let me in and gave her the flowers I had picked from the meadow.

We went in and ate a delicious meal she had made. She really was a great cook. After dinner she cleaned up and I went to set up the living room for our movie. We relaxed into the couch and got into our movie.

She turned to me when we got to her favorite scene with the lawn full of flowers and said "At least you won't have to worry about doing something like that for me, we already have a meadow full of my favorite flowers."

"That's true, but I would do everything possible to make you happy." I told her, and gave her a small kiss. I intended on keeping that promise. However sometimes the world has other plans for you, I guess.

She quickly deepened the kiss and I followed the lead and did the same. Everything intensified quickly and I realized I was getting a bit too into it to be able to stop. As much as I tried to be a gentleman, I was still a horny teenage boy. I warned her that my resolve was fading, but never made any move to stop. I found myself asking her if we could move it to her room before I realized what I was saying. She agreed and I picked her up and only released her again once we had found her bed. We kept our hands and mouths attached to the other ones body. It was weird, it seemed like time would stop and fast forward, one moment we were kissing on the couch,, then we are in her room, next thing I know, we're naked.

When I realized that neither of us had any more clothes on I laid myself on top of her. I made sure to ask if she was okay with what we were doing. She agreed she wanted to continue and pulled me down to her more. I found my way into her and almost finished that moment with how amazing she felt. I took it slow at first to get the hang of things and soon started picking up speed. Before I knew it light exploded behind my eyes and the world around us just disappeared.

Then I heard footsteps and automatically tensed.

"What the...why...GET OFF HER...!" Shit, her dad's home. I stopped, not knowing how I was supposed to react, and looked to where her father was standing. I expected to see his gun aimed at my head, but luckily it appeared as if he had already put it away.

"Isabella, what the hell do you think you are doing?" he yelled at her. I jumped off of her and tried to get dressed. All I could find that moment were my boxers and pants, as they were still at the end of the bed. I was scared shitless at that moment. I didn't really know how to react. I really wanted to go back over to Bella, make sure she was alright and protect her. However I was still afraid her dad would shoot me. As much as I loved Bella, me being only 15 proved my sense of devotion just wasn't quite as strong as my sense of self preservation.

"You, boy, get out of here! Get away from my daughter. You are never to come near her again...You hear me!" He continued his yelling.

"Dad, you can't keep me away from him!" I vaguely heard her say. I could slightly hear her still speaking, but was in my own world trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. I stood in the corner, trying to get my body to do something. I started shaking as my nerves continued to get the best of me.

"OUT!" her dad yelled at me, pointing towards the door. I completely panicked, being brought back into this world and did as he said.

I ran out of the house, then stopped. I knew I should go back in there. It was both of our faults and I needed to protect her. Just then my dad drove up to the house, looked me over once, then reached over and threw open the passenger door. I was never more happy or nervous to see him.

"What happened to you? You look like you're afraid for your life, and uh, where are the rest of your clothes?" my father questioned, as he started driving toward the house. He was a generally understanding person, I knew he wouldn't be proud of my actions, but he wouldn't be irate either. He was always good at letting me talk things out before reacting to anything.

"Bella and I ended up getting carried away in her room and Charlie walked in and found us." I responded with a shaky voice. "I didn't really have a lot of time or brain power to find all of my stuff before he yelled at me to leave. Thanks for picking me up. Wait, why were you coming by her house, anyway?"

"It's curfew, I was coming to get you."

He then let me know how disappointed he was. Not just because we had gone so far so quickly, without protection, but also because I didn't check on her first to make sure she was okay. He understood the need to leave, not wanting to disobey Charlie, and in trying to keep myself safe, but let me know that our main priority always is our loved ones over ourselves.

We got to the house and my mom saw me as I walked in. She looked puzzled and shocked. I looked at my dad and he gave me a nod, letting me know it was okay to go to my room, and he would talk to my mom.

I went into my room to change into my pajamas, and finally got a look at myself in the mirror. I looked a complete wreck, my hair a mess, my pants hanging on my hips, the button still undone, and my boxers hanging out of the top. I was surprised to see tear tracks running down my face, I hadn't even noticed when that happened. That shocked me back into thinking and I knew I needed to check on Bella. I tried calling her a few times with no luck. Finally on the fifth call I got an answer.

" 'Lo," I heard a gruff male voice choke out on the other line, it sounded almost heartbroken. It took me a minute to realize it was Charlie. He sounded so broken, completely different than he had a couple hours ago when he was yelling at us.

"Is Bella there? I need to talk to her sir, please?" I pleaded, hoping that he could put aside his anger for me and at least let us talk.

"She's gone" was all he responded. She was gone? Did she run away? That didn't sound very Bella. Was she coming here? Maybe she needed to see me as much as I needed to see her.

"They left." he continued. "Her mother made her pack her stuff and they left." He finished, his voice fading.

"Where did they go? Are they coming back, how can I call her?" I asked, panic rising in my voice.

"I don't know where they are. I don't know if they are coming back." He replied, then hung up. I frantically searched for my cell phone and realized it wasn't with me. I must have lost it over there. Bella had once again lost her phone about a week ago and had to get a new number when she got the new phone. I hadn't memorized it yet since it was saved in my cell. How am I supposed to call her?

I didn't know what to do, I felt so lost. I hoped my parents could help. They understood how deep Bella and my relationship ran. They knew I wanted to marry her one day. Even though we were young I knew I could never find better than her, I would never want anyone other than her. My parents understood that, as that was what they had felt for each other when they met.

I walked downstairs and before I got down the last flight of stairs I saw my parents sitting on the couch talking. As I approached they looked up and I instantly saw worry take over my mother's face as she took in the look of loss on mine.

"They're gone" I all but whispered. It felt so final to say, that it just hurt too much to make it come out any louder than that.

"What do you mean, sweetie? Where did they go?" My mom said, opening her arms to me.

I stayed in my spot, still unable to move and replied, "Charlie said Renee had her pack her stuff and they just left. He doesn't know where they went or if they are coming back."

My mom stood up and wrapped her arms around me. She just held me there for a few moments, swaying us back and forth. I could feel her shirt getting wet where my face lay, guess I was crying again. She finally led me to the couch and sat me down between her and my dad, not letting her hold on me go. My father placed a hand on my shoulder and tried to comfort me. Nothing was helping though. I could barely even make sense of what was going on anymore.

How was I supposed to live without her near me. We had finally got our relationship to where we wanted it to be. I didn't want her to be hurting. Over time I tried to convince myself that she was happy where ever she was, that she was better off. I would wait for her to call, but never got one from her. Maybe she realized she was too good for me and had talked her mom into leaving. Maybe she realized she was better off without me. She finally saw that she deserved more than someone that would just take advantage of her and leave her. I brought this on myself. I should have stayed with her that night. I should have protected her, fought for her.

I will try to find a way to make it up to her if it's the last thing I do. I will prove myself to her again. I have to.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**5 Years Later**

BPOV

I hate life. I hate men, I hate school, I hate my house and I hate work. I am in my junior year of college and I had to work like crazy to get the scholarship just to get here. Now I have to work at the coffee shop on campus to get enough to support myself. I live on campus in one of the dorms. I never dated anyone after Edward. I've decided men aren't worth it. I never talked to him after the last day I spent at my dad's house. I ended up calling his house about a week after we had slept together. I got the answering machine at his house. How could he even go anyone at a time like this. I stayed in my hotel room all hours, crying until I needed a change of pace, then I spent some time screaming with my mom. I couldn't believe he was out, probably having fun. I then remembered that there was a huge party being thrown that night in Forks. I bet that's were he was at. Probably just happy to be free to date again.

So the last memory I have of him is him running half naked out of my house, leaving me behind, unclothed to face the music alone. Then seeing my dad just watch as my mom ripped me away from my home. He never stood up for me either. So the lesson I learned when I was fifteen, which my mom made sure to remind me of everyday... Never trust a guy, they are just going to disappoint you.

So I get through my life as unnoticed as possible. I keep to my daily routine of school and work, then retreat back to my dorm. I hate my life. I hate Edward Cullen. Because of him and his actions that night I've lost everything I loved. He didn't even have the consideration to explain why.

It is now time to go to my favorite place...work. Can you feel the sarcasm? I pulled my hair into a ponytail, grabbed my apron and hat and left my building. I walked to work like I do every day. I got there just as the clock changed to 4:30. I made it just in time. I clocked in and resumed my exciting job of fulfilling coffee orders. I think every picky angry person came in today. Not one person seemed happy. Little did I know that it would be the best part of my day. After getting through a couple of rousing hours, I started watching the clock, counting down till I got to go home. Oh great, another order. I filled the order, put it on the counter and called for the person to come get it. Then I turned around to continue doing my side work.

"Excuse me, you made this wrong," I heard an almost growl come from behind me.

"I made it exactly how it was written, so it is not my fault!" I responded angrier than I should have. However, with the day I had I wasn't going to take anyone's accusations. I turned around and saw the last person in the world I ever wanted to see again. Standing in front of me with a livid look on his face was the one and only Edward Cullen. I don't think he recognized me yet. He was still looking at his cup and I could feel all the anger my body could create rise into my face.

"I ordered it how I wanted it, and I _expect_ a new one." He almost yelled, slamming his cup down on the counter. He was starting to look towards me, but before he could see my face I yelled back at him.

"Yeah, well I had expectations for you too, what happened to those?" I yelled and took his coffee cup and threw it at him. It covered his face and chest. At least it was iced coffee. I almost wish it would have been hot coffee. He got angry as well and slammed his hand down on the counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but his donut was on the counter and just happened to be in the right spot for his hand to hit it. As if my day wasn't bad enough, now my face was covered in custard and I have lemon filling in my eye!

"Bella?" he asked in an almost whisper, after I wiped the filling from my face. The look in his eyes was a little shocked, then regret, worry and pain crossed them. I really didn't care how he felt about anything right now. I was mostly looking for anything else I could throw at him. I had just got another coffee in hand and ready to throw when my manager came out of the office.

"Bella Swan! Get in my office, now!" He yelled from right behind me. I gave Edward one last glare then followed my boss into the office.

EPOV

I was having one of the worse days possible. I found out my latest girlfriend cheated on me. Surprisingly, when I asked her about it she didn't seem the least bit remorseful. Apparently it had been going on for awhile. She claimed I was too distant. She said I didn't care enough about her and she needed to find it elsewhere. She was blaming me for making her cheat. It wasn't the first time I heard that. I've been told that I wasn't attentive enough, I didn't care enough and I didn't even try all that much in bed. I never told them that they were just distractions. Nothing could ever compare to Bella. I still had never been able to locate her. I've done everything but hire a private investigator, which I was quickly considering.

She is the only girl I could ever truly care for. I tried dating to preoccupy myself from dwelling on her constantly. These girls just didn't do it for me like she did. Sure they were good looking but paled next to my Bella. I barely even got excited by them, regardless of their attempts and claimed skills. Even with the age difference and experience they had it couldn't compare to what Bella and I shared in our intimate moment together. I mostly just went through the motions and would follow my mind somewhere else.

I finally got out of the most ridiculous class ever, with a teacher I could run circles around in his field. I went to the local coffee shop, knowing I wouldn't have time to make it to my usual one.

I went in and ordered my coffee and a quick pick-me-up snack to help me get through the day. I had a long trip to go on tonight. My friend is getting married and I have to go to his bachelor party. I really didn't want to think of people getting married. This was another thing bothering me today. It just made me think of Bella more. I would have married her by now if she hadn't vanished. I wanted to be with her more than anything. It doesn't help that my roommate keeps talking about his friend Bella.

At first I thought it may be my Bella, but listening to him talk about her I decided it couldn't be. His Bella was always down and bitter, she had no confidence, almost no sense of humor, unless it was extremely sarcastic and no want to be around people. She also rarely listened to music and claimed it made her grumpy. My Bella would be clumsy and blush, but had enough confidence to take a stand for what she wanted. She had the best sense of humor and could make anyone laugh. Music was one of her passions. She could sing like an angel and would give anything she had for a good album.

I got my order and took a sip. It was disgusting. It couldn't be right. I left my donut on the counter and yelled at the girl. I really wasn't up for another aggravation today. I couldn't get a handle on my anger anymore.

"Excuse me, you made this wrong," I said, in a growl before I could calm myself. Their job can't be that hard to where they can't get a coffee right. What are they doing here if they are just going to make it wrong.

"I made it exactly how it was written, so it is not my fault" She responded angrily. I kept my eyes down trying to calm myself. I could feel the anger in my face and was not trying to cause a scene in a coffee shop.

"I ordered it how I wanted it, and I _expect_ a new one!" I responded loudly, not being able to control my anger, I slammed my cup down. Just make me a new one, it's not that freaking hard. I started to look up to challenge her, but she reacted before I could even move.

"Yeah, well I had expectations for you too, what happened to those?" She yelled and next thing I knew she grabbed my cup and chucked the coffee at me. This was seriously the worst day of my life. I slammed my hand down on the counter instead of taking it out on anything else. What I didn't realize until it was too late was that my donut was sitting right where my hand was going. My hand hit it and the lemon filling flew out with perfect aim and hit the girl in the face. I looked up to see her and try to apologize, but almost went into shock at what I saw.

She had long mahogany hair tied back, pale ivory skin, and round chocolate eyes I knew only one person could have. They were also full of a familiar look of pain I had hoped never to cause her again.

"Bella?" I asked, seeing her eyes meet mine as she cleaned the custard off of her face. I never thought I'd get the chance to see her again. I also didn't think it would involve me yelling at her and throwing food in her face. What kind of person am I?

Before I could say anything else to her the manager appeared and called her in his office.

Great, I got her in trouble. I managed to ruin her day and get her in trouble, when all I had ever wanted was to keep her happy and be part of her life.

She glared at me again and walked into the office. I opted to wait and apologize after. I just hoped she would let me talk to her long enough to apologize. I didn't expect her to forgive me; I just wanted to let her know I didn't mean to hurt her like that.

BPOV

"Bella, you know that is no way to treat a customer! We do not yell and we certainly don't throw things at them! The last thing we need is to be sued because our staff can't control their temper! The customer is always right Bella, if they tell you to fix it, then that's what you do. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. I want you to get your stuff, leave the apron and get out. We don't need you here anymore. "

I stormed out of the office, taking off my apron and saw Edward still standing near the counter. I chucked my apron at him and as he turned around to look at me, I said "Thanks, now you can add that to the ways you've ruined my life." I turned back around to the door and and stormed out.

"Bella, wait..." he started but I really didn't want to hear what he had to say after that. I made my way home, half running. I just really wanted to get away from anything that reminded me of him. I needed to get home so I could curl up and just let out the tears that were trying so hard to escape, I can't let him know I'm crying. I will not give him that satisfaction of knowing he still holds power over my emotions.

I finally made it back to my dorm. As luck would have it my next door neighbor and her boyfriend are at it again. I really didn't need this reminder of Edward either. What they are doing is what had started my life in this downward spiral. I started yelling at them through the wall. It didn't seem to work since the lungs on the girl were obviously much better than mine. In hopes of getting their attention, I took the broom handle and started banging it into the wall as hard as I could. I figure you always see people banging the ceiling with them, same idea, it should work. They finally stopped and were yelling through the wall and I started screaming right back at them. I've never been a vocal or confrontational person, but today I was not going to hold back. Hopefully there aren't any young children in a three mile area, or their poor ears are going to be violated.

A minute later the Room Advisor was knocking on my door and yelling things through the door at me. I ran over and answered. She started yelling at me about my conduct and how I was supposed to contact her if I was having trouble with my neighbors. I told her it wouldn't matter, she never did anything about it before, so it was my turn to handle it. Next thing I know I was told to pack my stuff and find another place to stay. Could my night get any worse? I carried my stuff to the curb outside and got out my cell phone. I called the only person who ever showed any true concern for me.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

BPOV

"Hello?" I heard the booming voice of my pseudo-big brother answer. Emmett had befriended me shortly after my arrival to the university. He is the only guy I can trust, and is the only good thing about my being here. Almost as soon as we met he took me under his wing and acted as my protector. He told me I reminded him of the sisters he left back home, so he took it upon himself to look after me, as I do for him.

"Emmett, I have a problem. I got kicked out of my dorm. Do you think you can come get me?"

"Of course, little sis, but as payment you have to tell me what you of all people could possibly have done to get kicked out. You're like the calmest person I know." he replied. He was right, I usually am very calm, and quiet. I make sure not to be noticed or stand out. Today was definitely an off day for me.

"Alright, thanks. I will try to call around and find a place to stay while you head over." I told him, I just wish I had some money to afford a place. I wasn't going to tell him that part though.

"Don't even think about it Squirt. You can stay with me until we get something figured out. My roomie just left for the weekend and I know you don't have the money to stay at a hotel." He knows me too well.

"Okay, thanks. But only for the weekend. I don't want to bother your roommate." I told him. We hung up after that and I sat and waited for him to get to me.

Emmett picked me up and brought me back to his apartment. He grabbed the few cases of belongings I had and led me to his place. He found a roommate last year to split a place with so he wouldn't have to stay in a dorm room any longer. I couldn't blame him; the dorms were not the coziest of places to live. He let me take a shower and settle down for a little bit before he bugged me for details.

I told him everything that happened, but made sure to leave out the name. The last thing I need is for anyone to mention it around me. It was one of the worst types of pains I have felt. I always feel like I'm being ripped apart, as if it was creating a hole in me each time I heard it. I didn't want any tie-ins to help anyone identify who it was either. I couldn't bear the thought of people knowing or mentioning it to him. He didn't need to know I still (although unwillingly) thought about him constantly.

He showed me the room I'd be staying in and I went in to try and get to sleep. I just laid there for awhile, thinking about the past and what happened today. I can't believe he is here. Why did he have to pick here to go to school? He could have his choice of any school he wanted, but he had to come to mine. Had he just moved here, or has he really been this close for the past almost three years without me knowing? I know this is a big school, but I didn't think anyone could hide that well.

I put on my iPod and headphones and turned on Muse. They always manage to cheer me up a bit. I listened to their Absolution album several times before finally getting to sleep. It wasn't a very restful sleep though. I kept up my normal by having an unending supply of nightmares, and he managed to haunt all of them. I finally forced myself awake as soon as I saw light come in through the window. I couldn't stand sleeping anymore if he is going to invade it. It felt almost as if he poured out of the walls, the room even smelt of him. That is weird enough on its own, I've never quite encountered anything that carried the same aroma he did.

I got out of bed and got dressed. I decided to make Emmett breakfast as a thank you for letting me stay here for the weekend. I made it to the kitchen and looked around to see what he had so I could make him a nice breakfast. I should have expected what I would find since I was standing in the kitchen that belonged to two college boys. I found no ingredients to make anything really. However, I did find an old pack of hot dogs, and the ingredients needed to make a mean bowl of cereal. I decided to wait till he woke up to make him cereal, so it wouldn't get soggy. I sat down in front of the TV and turned it on trying to distract myself from thinking too much.

Emmett finally woke up and I made him his cereal. We sat and watched TV together in peace for awhile. I started looking through the paper and went to the classifieds section. I glanced over the job options listed in the paper and couldn't find anything that sounded interesting in the slightest.

"They really don't have much to offer job wise around here, do they?" I asked no one in particular.

"No worries, li'l sis, I know the owner of the bookstore next to my work, I'm pretty sure I can get you in there." He replied. That would be amazing, I am infatuated with books. When you give up dating that's about the only thing left to get interested in.

"Emmett that would be perfect, thank you so much! I need to get a resume together.." I almost screeched and threw my arms around my big brother. I let go of him and ran into the room to get my laptop and brought it back out to the couch to start making a resume. I didn't have to have one for the coffee shop but I want to make one for the bookstore. I have a big background in books and want to do whatever I can to get this job. Emmett always has a way of coming through for people. He really does make an amazing big brother.

Later in the day we headed over to the bookstore so Emmett could talk to the owner about getting me employed. He went into the back for a little bit so they could talk. As they were talking I decided to look around and get acquainted with the layout of the store. I found a book I was interested in and started reading until they came back out.

"Bella? Hi, I'm Mr. Varner," the owner said as he approached me, reaching out his hand to shake mine, I returned the handshake and he continued. "Well Emmett has told me a lot about you, and given me your resume, which I have to admit is impressive. I think you would be a great addition to our little family here. Welcome aboard."

"Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me. When do I start?" I asked, avoiding the urge to hug him, finally feeling happy for the first time in months.

"Well, if you'll follow me, we can get your paperwork started and I will get your number and call you as soon as I can set up a time for you to train."

"That sounds great. Thank you again." We walked over to the counter and I filled out all the necessary papers. We left shortly after finishing and me purchasing a present for myself. I am now the proud owner of 'The Complete Stories and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe'. It's a gorgeous big book, with foil letters adorning its leather-bound cover. I used to only buy Jane Austin books, and others of the same genre. I actually had a bookshelf full of them at my dad's house. However after that fateful night five years ago I gave up on the ideas of love and romance. At least Poe won't give you false hopes and break your heart.

We mostly just sat around the apartment for the rest of the day. I know it's Saturday and we should be out having fun, but I wanted to just relax after all the craziness that happened yesterday. We ordered chinese and put in a movie. I started falling asleep during the end and decided to go to bed. I would have to look for a place to stay tomorrow, which I'm sure will be tiring all on its own. I showered and dressed in my pajamas, just putting on a cotton camisole and matching dark blue silk shorts. I lay down and opened my new book to get a little reading done.

I must have dozed off while reading because next thing I know, I was opening my eyes in response to hearing someone fumble into the room. It was hard to see who it was since I still had the lamp on over my head and it was casting more shadows over the intruder. He kept heading my direction and he wasn't slowing down. Okay, now I think it's time to panic.

EPOV

After my run in with Bella and watching as she practically ran from me, I went back to my car to calm down before my drive. I finally left and went to meet up with my friends that lived about an hour away.

We hung out that night and just bullshited around. The whole next day was dedicated to his bachelor party so we kept it pretty low key.

I tried hard not to think too much of Bella. There wasn't much I could do about her right now. It killed me to realize I was right. She didn't want me. She never cared for me the way I thought she had and she was mad at me for taking advantage of her. The amount of anger and pain in her face proved that.

I drowned myself in the activities the next day. We mostly just played sports and the typical male-bonding stuff during the day. At night we went to a strip club. I wasn't really interested in the girls. Even they paled next to my Bella. I did however make good friends with the waitress that kept me in supply of alcohol. I tend to not really drink but it was doing the trick to help me relax and not focus on _her_ too much.

After a while at the club, and a bit more liquor later, I convinced myself that I needed to go home and confront her. I didn't know what I could do in the condition I was in, but it was worth a try. I got in my car and started my hour drive home. I somehow made it there in one piece and in record time. I was usually a speeder, but this was a shorter trip than it had ever been.

I kind of forgot my reasoning on coming home about halfway there so I just went up to my apartment to get some sleep.

As I stumbled over myself to get in my room, I saw the lamp on and someone in my bed. I thought it might be one of the girls I had been flirting with and decided to give her what she came for. Maybe it would be better this time with my current state of intoxication.

As I moved closer to the bed, I saw the familiar brown hair on my pillow and saw the face of my angel looking back at me with confusion and panic growing in it.

"Emmett!" She yelled, probably wanting him to knock me out since she wasn't armed with coffee. I kept heading toward her with the new objective of making her talk to me. She looked a bit threatened and grabbed a huge book from her side and heaved it at me. Due to my lack of reaction time the book managed to hit me square in the chest, knocking the wind out of me. She never had that good of an arm when we were younger; I was thoroughly impressed by her.

"Fu'kin' hell, what was that for?" I asked,rubbing the now sore spot on my chest. I didn't really think attacking me was really necessary.

"What are you doing here? Are you making it your job to stalk me now? Get out!" She yelled. Just then I saw Emmett enter the room. I knew he could be protective over his friends, but I had never seen that amount of it in him before. He looked about ready to kill anyone he saw as a threat to her. He pushed past me in a hurry to reach her. He sat down on the edge of the bed facing her. He couldn't be dating her, could he. Wasn't he dating that blond chic? He looked like he was concerned. I knew he had a Bella he thought of as a little sister. Maybe that's what this is, him reacting to his little sister, not girlfriend. Yeah, that sounds good.

"Bella? Are you okay? Sorry sis, I didn't know he was coming home tonight. This is my roommate, Edward." He answered, trying to calm her down. She looked ready to explode with anger and hurt after he said that. I had to talk to her. That was the only way to solve this. I can't keep living knowing I caused the pain that is permanently etched on her face.

BPOV

"I have to get out of here. I need to find another place to stay. Thank you for helping me Emmett, but I need to leave." I said, jumping out of the bed to gather my stuff. It makes sense now why everything smelled of him. Here I was trying to get away from this person and just managed to throw myself in his bed. I can't believe that Emmett has been roommates with him for over a year now and I never knew. All the conversations I had with Emmett about him and that same person Emmett kept threatening was the guy he was sharing his house with.

While trying to shove everything in my bag Emmett came over to grab my shoulders and turn me to look at him. "Bella, it's one o' clock in the morning. You can't go anywhere right now. There isn't anything open, just go back to bed for now and we will figure out something in the morning." Emmett said, bringing me into a hug.

"You can sleep here; I 'll sleep in the living room. Le'me grab a blanket and I'll be outta your way." Edward slurred, looking over to where Emmett and I were standing.

"No, you can have your bed. I really don't want to be in it. I will take the couch." I answered back, grabbing my bag and trying to exit the room as fast as possible. Of course, being me, nothing is ever that easy. On my way to the door, I tripped over the same book I threw at Edward. I started falling forward, but before I could hit the ground I felt a pair of strong, familiar arms wrap around my waist and pull me back up. I looked up and saw green eyes staring at me through the small light in the room. As soon as I had my footing I broke free of his grasp, pushed him away and grabbed my book and ran out of the room.

I made my way to the couch, put my stuff next to it and grabbed the blanket that was hanging off the back of it. I lay facing the back of the couch and covered my head so they wouldn't be able to see the tears now freely streaming down my face. I could vaguely hear them talking in the doorway of Edward's room.

"Dude, I'm sorry about that, she doesn't usually react that way to people. I mean, she isn't really li'l miss sunshine, but I've never seen her that bad. She's been having a rough couple days though. She should be better in the morning." I heard Emmett tell Edward. If only he knew the real reason as to why I reacted that way. I wonder if that would change things for him. Emmett, of course, doesn't have any idea that Edward and I know each other. I ended up telling Emmett what happened that night many years ago, but I never told him any names. I never thought I would run into him, but I just couldn't stand the thought of anyone saying his name in front of me.

"It's no big deal. I may have an idea. I will try to talk to her tomorrow and see if I can't help things settle down. We should get to bed, it's late." Edward said as he walked back in his room. He was going to talk to me tomorrow. There is no way I can face him again, especially not so soon. I haven't seen or heard from Edward for five years and now the universe wants to throw us together as much as possible. What have I ever done wrong to deserve all of this torture?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I never went back to sleep that night. I waited until dawn broke and went into the bathroom and got dressed. I grabbed my stuff and wrote a note to Emmett and taped it to his door. I let him know that I was leaving, thanked him for his hospitality and apologized for my behavior. I told him to call me later. I left the apartment, hoping to find somewhere I could just hang out for a little bit, at least until other people started waking up. I desperately needed to find somewhere else to stay. I just sat down at the gazebo and read my book for awhile waiting for time to pass.

"Come on Bella, let's go back home." I heard Emmett say from behind me. That really was the last place I wanted to be right now.

"I can't Emmett. I'm sorry. I just can't be there anymore." I replied, I really didn't want to get into all the reasoning behind it with Emmett. As fun as it would be to get Edward kicked out of his apartment, like he did to me, I just couldn't do that to Emmett. He is too good of a guy to do that to. I really don't want to drag him in to our problems.

"It wasn't a request, Bella. I'm not letting you just sit out here by yourself. I'm not really sure what the sudden problem you have with my place is, but we will figure it out. I told you the other day; you are staying with me until you find another place." Sometimes Emmett is too stubborn for his own good. Not that I can really complain. I'm usually much worse. But as much as I don't want to be around Edward, I can't hurt Emmett's feelings. I guess I will just have to get really good at avoiding Edward. He grabbed my bags and my arm and brought me back to the car with him. Sometimes I think he takes his big brother role too seriously.

We made it back to the apartment and of course Edward was in the kitchen right by the front door. I just walked right by, not even acknowledging him. I put my stuff down by the couch and just curled up around the arm rest. Edward came over to the couch and sat on the other side, and Emmett went into his room to get ready for work.

"Bella, can we talk for a minute?" I heard Edward ask. I really wasn't ready to talk to him, not that I think I would ever be. I just continued watching TV hoping he would get the hint. I know the silent treatment is a bit immature, but it's about the best I could come up with shy of sticking my tongue out at him and storming off.

"Bella, please, I really think we should talk," he said and placed his hand on wrist to get my attention. As soon as his hand touched me, I felt a jolt of electricity go through my arm. It was close to the same as it was many years ago, but now also brought pain as well. I pulled my wrist out from under his touch and reached over to grab the newspaper off of the floor. Luckily I had a job already, but I still needed to look for an apartment, and a roommate.

"Bella, you can't really go on ignoring me forever, can you?" He asked with what sounded like a hint of pain in his voice. Why would he be in pain? He's the one who ruined everything.

"Edward, I can't do this now, just leave me alone. We have nothing to talk about." I answered back, my voice barely above a whisper.

"You know that's not true, we have a lot to talk about. You can't just avoid me forever you know. You'll have to talk to me at some point." He said, staring straight into my face. How could he have gotten better looking over the years? It just isn't fair. His eyes managed to get a deeper shade of green, and his hair was still an amazing bronze color, and still going in every different direction, yet still looking exactly how it should. He got quite a bit taller, probably just over six feet. His body kept its slender built look. I could see the muscles on his forearms sticking out of his sleeves.

I don't need to be looking at all of that. I need to keep my resolve. I can't fall under his spell anymore. I can't let that happen.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? I don't want to talk to you! I may have a lot to say to you, but I can promise you don't want to hear it! I can't do this now, I have to be respectful to Emmett and I refuse to cause drama between him and his roommate!" I yelled back, standing up in front of the couch, looking down on him. "I need to get out of here. Tell Emmett I went for a walk" I mumbled back to him, grabbing my purse and cell phone and walked out the door. I'll just go down to the student message board to see if anyone is looking for a roommate. Someone has to be in need of one, right? I really don't care who it is at this point, anything is better than staying with Edward.

A few hours later, and no still no openings for a roommate, I decided to quit for the day and go back to the apartment. I got back and found it locked. I guess everyone left. I searched under the rug and on top of the door frame for a spare key. No such luck. I fished out my cell phone to call Emmett.

"Hello?"

"Hey Emmett, I'm locked out, do you have a spare key somewhere?" I asked, hoping at least a neighbor or someone would have one.

"Nope, sorry li'l sis. The only other person with a key is Edward. I'll give him a call and have him meet you at home to let you in." He replied, trying to be helpful.

"No Em, it's okay. No need to bother him. I'll just hang out till you get home. I don't want to bother him." I responded. I really didn't want to be stuck here again with him alone. I don't know how much more I could take. It's bad enough he broke my heart, but did he really have to get better looking. I feel like the world is just mocking me now. I didn't think I could feel anything but hate for him ever again. But the way he looks, and the way he still looks at me is proving me wrong. He really isn't a person I want to lust after, but it's proving a hard feeling to control.

Just then I heard someone walking down the hall. I looked up to see who was passing me when they stopped at the door I was sitting at.

"Emmett said you were locked out. I've come to save you from being stranded in the hallway," he said, his smug grin wide on his face, like he was doing me some huge favor.

"Wow, finally once in your life you decided to save me from something, aren't you just a saint." I mumbled as I walked past him and into the apartment.

"What was that," he asked as he walked in behind me.

"Oh, I just said thanks for saving the day," I answered back in an overly sarcastic tone.

I went straight over to my stuff and grabbed my bag of toiletries and my favorite pajamas. I went into the bathroom and started a hot shower. I undressed and just stood under the water, letting it run down my shoulders and back, melting away my tension with it. Just a couple days, I just have to make it through a couple days till I can find a better living arrangement. Even if it's an oversized cardboard box. I'm sure even that has to be better than this. Just a few more days. After probably the longest shower I've ever taken I got out and dried off. I brushed through my hair and put on my tattered t-shirt and my pair of sweatpants. I hung up my towel and went back out to the couch. Edward was already sitting on it so I put my stuff back in my bag and detoured to the balcony.

I sat on the fold up chair out there and opened my book up to where I left off. After reading for a few moments Edward poked his head out of the sliding door and looked over to me. "I'm going to cook dinner, any preferences?" He asked. I just shook my head no, keeping it in the book. Why can't he just leave me alone for more than a few minutes? _Just a few more days, just a few more days..._I just had to keep thinking that. It's going to be the only way I can get through this. It's my light at the end of the tunnel. I wander if I could bury him under the floorboards like in 'The Tell-Tale Heart'? I guess that would be kind of hard considering we are on the third floor of the apartment building.

"You've got to eat something, at least let me cook you dinner," he continued, apparently not taking the hint that I wanted to be left alone.

"I think you've done enough for me for one lifetime, thanks" I said in as much of a bitter, yet sweet voice as I could manage. I looked up and gave him a small evil smile, then went back to my book, after putting on my headphones and turning on some Avenged Sevenfold. It usually helps with excessive anger, it gives a good outlet. I stayed out on the balcony until the sun went down, then made my way back onto the couch.

I curled up and wrapped myself up in the blanket, laying my head down and almost willing myself to fall asleep before anyone came back in the room. It must have worked because the last thing I remembered was the quiet sound of footsteps crossing the room, then the dreams I constantly have. It wasn't as much a dream as a replay of what happened so many years ago. It was usually joined with fights I had with my mom, and a picture in the background of my dad's face and the look it carried when we walked out of the house many years ago.

I never really talked to my dad after that. I would call him on Christmas and he would call on my birthday. We mainly just exchanged pleasantries and small updates on our lives. Neither of us were really ones for many words, especially after all the events we went through that led to our leaving.

I wasn't much better with my mom. I ignored her as much as possible. I resented her for ripping me from my life, and not caring about the effect it would have on me. Most of our conversations we had involved her yelling at me about how I disappointed her, and how Edward just used me. Then she would go on a rant about how horrible men are and how you couldn't trust them. After I left to go to college, I only really talked to her on holidays as well. It's amazing to me now, the closest feeling I have of a real family is Emmett.

I was so lucky to find Emmett. He automatically took a role as my big brother and has kept me safe and has been my confidant for my time here at college. He is mostly a giant goofy teddy bear. At first he is intimidating. He is very tall and built. He has curly brown hair and stunning blue eyes. Once you get to know him though you learn he isn't much of a threat, unless you mess with his friends. He just really likes to make jokes and have fun. He is a huge jokester. Somehow when it comes to me though, he can tell when something is wrong and goes into brother mode and just lets me vent, and cry if needed. He really is my best friend.

I woke up the next morning to find the boys sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. I used to dream about waking up next to Edward, and sharing a place with him, I thought he would be my life, he used to be my life. Now it just breaks my heart all over again to see him not far from me, laughing and going on as if nothing ever happened. How can he just be so casual about everything? Doesn't he hurt, or did I really mean nothing to him, like my mom told me over and over again? Oh well, it's useless to worry about this now. It's not going to get me anywhere.

Seeing as it was a holiday and none of us had any classes today, I tried to keep my eyes shut for as long as I could to prolong bringing attention to myself. I guess nature and my bladder had other plans for me though. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I could feel two sets of eyes follow me and my sudden movement. I luckily made it there without any issues. After washing my hands I walked out, keeping my eyes on the floor so I wouldn't meet glances with either of the boys. I'm sure Emmett knew something was up, I just wasn't ready to discuss it with him, especially with Thing 2 around. After shutting the door I took two steps toward the living room, running into something a little softer than a wall and right after I felt two hands come to hold on to my upper arms. Please let it be Emmett.

"We really have to stop meeting like this" I heard a slightly amused velvet voice so quietly next to my ear. As he said it I could feel his breath go down my neck and send shivers down my spine. I just froze there for a moment, forgetting all necessary motor skills. Why does he still have to be so damn irresistible? It's making being mad at him a bit harder than it should be.

He pulled me a little closer to him, in an almost hug, then let me go and went back into his room. I just stood there, still in shock of being that close to him after all this time. Feeling and smelling his sweet breath on me again, bringing all the memories, good and bad flooding into my head. It quickly became too much and overpowered my brain. I noticed everything get a little blurry, then it all went dark paired with the feeling of falling.

I woke up a little bit later. As I opened my eyes I had to blink a few times to adjust to the light. I finally got used to the light and could start making out the figures above me. Just in front of my face I could see a set of gorgeous green eyes and a mess of bronze hair. I felt, what I could only assume was his hands, holding onto mine placed on my stomach. "Edward?" I barely mumbled before I could realize what I was saying.

"What is it love, are you okay?" he asked with worry laced in his voice.

"Don't 'love' me...you don't love me, you never did!" I managed to get out as all of the emotions came rushing back and came out as uncontrollable sobs. I turned my face towards the lap that was under my head, and curled myself around Emmett. I vaguely heard him ask Edward what I was talking about.

I never heard an answer, then I felt Emmett's arms go under my body and he lifted me up and carried me into his room. He put me on his bed and just sat next to me and rubbed my back while I continued to cry as hard as I could. After I couldn't cry anymore I let sleep take me away from everything I was feeling.

I woke up sometime later. It was dark still, but I got up and went out to the kitchen to get some water. I lost a lot of fluid from crying so hard. I noticed Emmett sprawled out on the too small couch, deep in sleep. I saw Edward sitting on a chair to the side of the living room, just staring at the muted television set. I glanced over to it and saw it was an infomercial.

He finally looked over at me. I'm sure I was a sight. I could still feel the puffiness on my face from crying and my swollen eyes. I'm sure they were still red too. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but before he could I put my hand up toward him, shook my head and walked away. I really didn't need to hear anything from him right now, I didn't want to start crying again. Not so soon.

I fell asleep pretty quickly after I went back to bed.

I woke up the next morning and rushed to get ready for class and got what I would need for work. I was starting at the book store today. At least I would have reasons to stay out of the house for a majority of the day. Classes went by slowly, and work went by about the same. I've spent enough time in bookstores to know how they run so I really didn't find training very enlightening. After work I went to the video store next door that Emmett works at. I really didn't want to go back to the apartment by myself and risk running into _him _again. I waited for Emmett to get off and we walked over to a diner to get some food.

As we sat down Emmett looked at me with probably the most serious face I have ever seen on him. It almost made me laugh with how out of place it looked on him. "So, start talking, what happened yesterday? You really had me worried, I've never seen you this broken before. And what was that comment you made to Edward when you woke up?" he started in at me as soon as we had our drinks and placed our orders.

"Emmett, I know you're worried, and I'm sorry about how I'm acting. It's just not really something I want to talk about yet. I spent five years trying to avoid this situation and now it's being thrown in my face constantly. It's just a bit much. I promise, when I'm ready to talk you will be the first to know."

"Okay, I guess I will leave it alone for now, just know that if you need me I'm here for you. I don't want it to be hard for you" at the last sentence he broke into laughter and followed it by adding "that's what he said" and broke out into full blown laughter. Just like that he went back to normal Emmett, the one we all know and love. I cracked a smile at him and just went back to my food that had arrived while we were talking.

After dinner we walked back to the apartment, keeping the conversation light and comfortable. When we made it back, the living room was empty, but I could hear music coming from behind Edward's closed door. I just walked straight out to the balcony and sat down to think for awhile before I tried to put on a happy face and be part of the group.

Since the balcony ended right before where Edward's window started I could hear the music he was listening to. Seems like he was seeking therapy through Avenged Sevenfold as well. As I got comfortable I heard 'Dear God' come on. It really seemed appropriate for the situation we had gone through. As the lyrics started I began to sing along, I could hear Edward starting to sing them as well.

_A lonely road, crossed another cold state line_

_Miles away from those I love_

_Purpose hard to find_

_While I recall all the words you spoke to me_

_Can't help but wish that I was there_

_Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah_

The song brought back memories of the fights I had with my mom, begging and pleading with her to let me go back to Forks. Back to Edward. Back when I was still trying to convince myself that he missed me too. How hard it was trying to survive in Phoenix while my heart was back in Washington.

_Dear God, the only thing I ask of you_

_Is to hold her when I'm not around_

_When I'm much too far away_

_We all need that person who can be true to you_

_But I left her where I found her_

_And now I wish I'd stayed_

_'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired_

_I'm missing you again, oh no_

_Some search, never finding a way_

_Before long, they waste away_

_I found you, something told me to stay_

_I gave in, to selfish ways_

_And how I miss someone to hold_

_When hope begins to fade_

I wonder if all this pain is necessary. Maybe we can just act like nothing happened. Like we never knew each other before last weekend. We used to be such great friends, swearing nothing could rip that apart. I wonder if that need I still feel to be near him would be sated if we just acted like nothing bad ever happened, and we were friendly with each other. But would that ever really be enough? No, and it's not a risk I can take.

_A lonely road, crossed another cold state line_

_Miles away from those I love_

_And hope is hard to find_

_We all need that person who can be true to you_

By the end of the song I noticed some runaway tears falling down my cheeks, and I heard something that sounded almost like a sniffle coming from Edward's room. He couldn't be upset about the same thing, could he? He just walked out on me that night. There's no way it could pain him how it pained me. Him taking me that night ruined everything I had good in my life. We broke apart, my family broke apart and I was ripped away from everything I cared for.

He didn't lose anything. He never wanted to talk to me, so I know he didn't miss me, and I doubt his perfect family really suffered at all for our actions. What could he be upset about? It has to be just a coincidence, I'm sure he is just thinking of someone else. Good, I hope someone broke his heart, just like he broke mine. At least I wish I could want that. Even though with what he did to me, I still could never wish that much pain on him.

I heard him shuffle a bit in his room, then the music went off and his door opened. A few seconds later I heard the sliding glass door behind me open. It took all my power not to look up at him. He walked out and closed the door behind him.

"Here, I thought you might be getting cold out here." he said as he dropped a blanket on my lap and sat down on the other chair on the balcony. I looked over at him and gave him a half smile. He sent a small smile my way and then turned to look out over the balcony. He always knew I hated when people looked at me when I was crying. I hate showing any weakness. We just sat out there together in silence for awhile until I decided to go in and cook dinner. Luckily one of the boys went grocery shopping during the weekend, so we actually have food to eat.

I got out all the ingredients out I needed to make fajitas. It doesn't take much, but it keeps me busy enough to stay preoccupied. After about twenty minutes I had everything ready and the table set. I put all the food out and collected the boys. We sat down and ate mostly in silence. Every so often Emmett would jump in with an anecdote or weird story that would make us laugh. I did my best to be a part of it. I really didn't need my brother worrying about me anymore. Who knows what he would do if he had to be serious more than once a week. We might slip into some kind of black hole.

The next couple days went by about the same. I spent all day in school and at work, then would come home and cook dinner and get any homework I had done and try to spend some time with Emmett, then go to bed. It was Friday again, and I was happy to have the weekend off from school and work. Now I could actively search for another place to stay. When I got home I started to get dinner ready and as it was almost done Emmett came barreling in through the door.

"Hey sis, sorry it's last minute, but I won't be here for dinner. I'm gonna go stay the night with Rosie. I hope you don't mind. Hey, you can have my room tonight though. I won't be back till probably early afternoon. Are you going to be okay here tonight with just Edward? If you want me to stay I will." He said all in one breathe while grabbing some stuff out of his room. Crap, a night alone with Edward, that doesn't sound like a good idea. Well, I have almost perfected ignoring him. Maybe it won't be too hard. I will just go into the room after dinner and hide out in there till Emmett comes back tomorrow, no big deal.

"That's fine Em, I can handle it. Go have fun and tell Rose I said hi." I replied and right after he was running out the door.

Dinner was done a few minutes later and right on time Edward walked through the door. I pointed him to the table, letting him know dinner was ready. I still wasn't sure I could talk with a steady voice around him, so I spoke as little as possible to him. He used to always tell me he loved hearing me talk; he enjoyed the sound of my voice. I wonder if it affects him at all that the only time he's heard it in the past five years was when I was yelling at him. Oh well, I can't think about that now. I just have to get through dinner, then I can hide in Emmett's room till tomorrow. We ate mostly quietly, he would ask a question every few minutes, but I would just nod or shake my head in answer. If the shaking I was feeling in my body was any sign, I knew I wouldn't be able to trust my voice.

When we were done, I gathered the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. As I went to leave the kitchen my foot caught the corner of the cabinet and I started to plummet to the ground. Once again as I was close to hitting the floor. Edward was there to catch me. If he hadn't broken my heart he would really be my knight in shining armor. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me close to him. My heart started to stutter, and I didn't think it was due to the fall.

"You know, a guy could get mixed signals when a girl gives him the silent treatment, yet keeps throwing herself at him. He may be tempted to take it the wrong way." Did he really just say that? Is that what he thinks I did all those years ago? He had more of a hand in that than I did. So much for trying to be civil tonight.

"Is that what you think? You think I threw myself at you? What kind of egotistical asshole are you?" I started yelling at him as I pulled away from him. I could feel the heat rising on my face and tears of anger flooding my eyes.

"Bella, I was just joking, don't take it so hard. I didn't mean anything by it." He said trying to hold back the smile that was playing on his lips.

"Joking? That's all that was to you? A joke! Do you have any idea how much it ruined my life? How much it ruined my family, and me. It _broke_ me Edward, you broke me!" I started out yelling, but got quieter near the end as the tears started falling more. I felt my knees start to give out and he caught me before I dropped too far. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him again. I wanted to get away from him but didn't have the strength to push him, away let alone hold myself up. I buried my head into his chest so he couldn't see the water in my eyes and tried to let his smell calm me. He put a finger under my chin and lifted it to make me look him in the face.

"You know that's not what I meant, Bella. I never wanted to hurt you, and that was definitely not a joke, that meant a lot to me." He said as he wiped the tears away from my face with his thumb. We stared into each other's eyes for a moment and felt each other's pain. Before I knew what was going on, or could get another coherent thought into my head his lips were crashing into mine. I knew I should have fought it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It felt like that was exactly what I should be doing. It was full of comfort, love and warmth. It felt like home to me.

We deepened the kiss and he opened his lips a little bit to let it go farther. We progressed into a more heated and rough kiss than we have ever shared before. It was full of passion and need as our tongues delved deeper into the others mouth. He put both of his hands on my waist and lifted me up to him. My legs took their natural place around his waist and my hands went straight to the top of his neck, twisting themselves in his hair. I could feel him walking; but didn't really care about what else was going on, as always happened when I was surrounded by him. All that mattered was that I was with him at this moment. I blocked the thoughts of the past and any part of my mind that was telling me to stop. All I wanted was him, to feel like I was his again.

We made it to his room and he laid me down on his bed, taking his place over me. We stopped kissing for a moment and just stared into each other's eyes. No words needed to be said, no agreement made. We just followed what our bodies and hearts told us was right. I let my hold of him go and let my lips find his again as my hands worked on his shirt. I found the bottom of it and played with the hem and the skin it was hiding. I pulled it up while running my fingers along his sides. We broke the kiss just long enough for him to remove my shirt and me to push his the rest of the way off. We continued kissing until he broke it to start working on my neck. He trailed kisses up and down my neck and collarbone. I used that time kiss on his neck and undo his pants. I quickly pushed them off and ran my hands up the skin on his back and then tangled them into his hair.

He moaned against my neck and wrapped one arm around my waist and one in my hair and pulled me closer to him. I moaned back into him and he let his hand move from around my back to the waistline of my pants. He undid the button and unzipped them. He had them off in no time and brought his hand to its place on my back, working on the clasp of my bra. Once he had that off he started to play with the newly exposed skin. I ran my hands roughly down his back, my blunt nails surely leaving lines behind, feeling all his muscles on the way down. I stopped at the waistband of his boxers and started slowly letting my fingers wander below it. He started moving a bit, squirming a little under my touch. I finally removed them from him and took a glance at what I had missed for all of this time. His body really was amazing.

He found the band of my underwear and started slowly moving them down my legs, kissing a trail down my body as he went. Once they were gone he moved into position over me and entered me almost right away. Once I caught the rhythm I started moving my hips along with him. We started out a little slow to get the feeling of each other again. After a minute we had adjusted to each other and picked up the pace. His lips never left mine unless they were trailing my collarbone. His hands kept a strong hold on my back and in my hair, keeping me as close to him as possible. I wasn't much different. I kept my hands tangled in his hair and my legs wrapped around his waist as tight as I could. We stayed that way the whole time, only varying our hands slightly to let them wander.

As we got closer we picked up speed and finally we finished together, calling out each other's names. He collapsed on me and we stayed that way until we had composed ourselves enough to move. He turned us on our side so we were lying down facing each other. I curled into him as much as I could and buried my head into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close to him as he could and bent his head down to kiss the top of my head. We stayed like that until we fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I actually slept well that night. No weird nightmares or bad memories coming back to haunt me through the night. It felt like I could finally breathe for the first time in years. I woke up the next morning relieved to still feel his arms around me. As the grogginess wore off my mind began to run full speed. I started remembering everything that happened last night, and everything that happened in the past. As much as I wanted to just lay here and enjoy the time I had with him it was hard to forget everything that had happened between us. I couldn't help but wonder if he really felt the same for me or if he was just playing games with me again. I don't think I could take anymore heartbreak. _I can't do this. I have to go. _I can't sit here and hope that he will feel the same way I do when he wakes up. He didn't want me then, what made me think he would want me now. Why do I keep letting myself fall for him?

I crept out of bed and got dressed without waking him up. I gave him a kiss on his head while I would still be able to. I went out into the living room to see if Emmett got home yet. I didn't see any sign of him yet, so I started gathering my stuff together while I waited. I would find a new apartment today. I had to. I gathered up all my belongings and sat with them outside the front door. Emmett came home not too long after. He had a big goofy grin that would have matched mine, if mine wasn't laced with doubt.

"Hey Bells, what are you doing out here?" he asked as he got closer.

"I'm just eager to start looking for a new place. I don't want to be a burden anymore." I replied back.

"Sis, you could never be a burden, I don't want you to ever think that. Well, on happier note, I found you a place to live." He said getting increasingly excited. I gave him a confused look but also smiled to let him know I was happy. "Well, you know I stayed with Rose last night. It seems her and her roommate have extra space and would love to have you stay with them. They said you could move in as soon as you want and they won't take no for an answer."

"That's great Em, thanks, but I don't know if I can afford to live in that apartment complex. It's a bit pricey for me." I said a little unsure. Rose's family is loaded and I think her roommate is too. There is no way I would be able to help pay that.

"Don't be silly sis. They don't need any financial help. She cares for you too and just wants you to be safe. However, if you feel the need to contribute maybe you could cook some meals over there. Don't tell Rosie this, but she hasn't really mastered the whole kitchen thing. It's just not really for her. From what I gather her roommate has the same level of talent." He said while laughing to himself.

"Alright, I guess I can give it a try. I want to say bye to Edward and then will you take me over there?" He nodded and I walked back inside for a moment. As much as I was afraid of him breaking me again, I couldn't leave without at least saying bye first. I have to try and make this at least a little better than it was the first time around.

I found Edward still lying in bed, his eyes almost completely open.

"Hey, I was wandering where you went. It was lonely waking up without you." He stated with a little bit of sleep still in his voice. He was reaching an arm out to me and tried to pull me back into bed with him. Why does he have to make this so hard for me?

"Edward, don't, I can't lay back down with you. Emmett found me a place to stay and I just wanted to say bye before I left. I figured I'd take advantage of the chance to say bye since I didn't get one last time." I said, my voice starting to shake at the last sentence. He ignored my plea and pulled me down next him and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him. He kissed the top of my head and just held me for a minute. I tried not to put too much stock into his actions. I really don't want to be hurt and I know this can't end well between us. I've seen enough loves end badly to know better.

"Why are you saying bye? Just because you are moving into another apartment doesn't mean we can't see each other anymore." He responded, looking a little confused.

"I'm saying bye because I can't do this. I can't be hurt again and I'm not interested in a bed buddy." As I said that I saw something that looked almost like pain flash across his eyes. "I know we both just gave into a weakness last night, and don't worry, I won't think anything of it. I understand you didn't want me then and I'm sure that's still true now. I will stay out of your way now. I think it's best for both of us that way." With that I pulled out of his grasp and left the room, trying to hold back any tears that would threaten my stand.

I walked out the door and grabbed my stuff and nodded to Emmett that I was ready to leave. He followed me out to the car and helped me put my stuff in the back. I sat in the passenger seat and curled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. It was a familiar pose I kept often after having to leave Edward the first time. It helped me feel like I could hold myself together better. I rested my head against the window and just watched as the road went by. Another great thing about Emmett was he was fine leaving you to your thoughts. He never felt the need to make you spill, unless it was completely necessary. So the drive to the new apartment stayed quiet with him just sending a glance my way every so often.

EPOV

I feel completely lost. I'm not really sure what happened in the last twelve hours.

Bella just moved out. She left again after we shared an amazing experience together. Just like last time. The difference is this time I stayed, and she left of her own free will. Not because someone was making her. Maybe she really didn't like me. I had hoped that she had and was just trying to avoid it, but now I am realizing she doesn't feel the same for me as I do her. I had hoped she could tell I loved her by my actions and that she would stay with me. I guess I didn't really give her reasons to think I love her though. I have to retrain myself to be how I was around Bella. I always held her so much higher than any other girl, but I've been treating her the exact same as I would any of them. The main difference I showed from them to her -that she wouldn't even know of- is that I said her name during our actions. I never say anyone else's as I never really viewed them as actual people, they were more just my distractions.

Bella on the other hand meant more to me than my own life. I would give anything to be around her. I now know she doesn't feel the same. I tried to get her to lay with me, to stay, but she just left and took the rest of my heart with her. I have to find out if I can win her over. If not I guess I will have to try and accept defeat and let her live her life without me. I want her to be happy, but I need her with me.

BPOV

We got to the new complex and it looked a lot nicer than even the one Emmett was staying in. Well, here goes nothing. I've never been great at getting along with other girls. I guess Rose is the closest to a friend I have. She's been dating Emmett for about a year and we've hung out a few times. We've had a couple successful conversations. She is a bit more of a girly-girl than I am, so there isn't a lot in common between us. I haven't met her roommate yet. Hopefully we can all get along enough to live together.

Emmett helped me gather my things and led me to the elevator. Her, well I guess it's now our, apartment is on the fifth floor. We got to their floor and walked down the hall to the last door. He opened the door without knocking and waved for me to go in ahead of him. I walked in and was amazed by the size of the place. It looked about as big as my mom's house in Phoenix.

"Hi Bella, welcome home" Rose said as she came near the door and waved for us to come in. "Your room will be on the left. You will be sharing with Alice. She is a little excitable but she is a great person once you get to know her. My room is to the right if you need me. You have a bathroom in your room, but by chance Alice takes it hostage, which she does often, you can use the one in the hallway. Everything else is pretty self-explanatory."

"Umm, thanks Rose. Thank you for letting me stay here. I appreciate it." I said, still trying to look around and get used to the place.

"I'll go put your stuff in your room and let you get settled in, sis." Emmett said while making his way to my room. I followed him in to see where I would be staying now. We walked in and I was amazed by the room. It was much bigger than the living room at my dad's house. It was painted a nice shade of purple and had white trim. It held two queen sized beds and they both had dark purple linens and comforter on them, with black floral print on it in velvet. There were some pictures around but I didn't look at them, afraid of being a little too nosy. One of the beds had a nightstand covered in beauty products and pictures. The other bed had a matching nightstand, but that one was empty. Guess that one is mine. Emmett put my things down on the bed and gave me a hug and we said our goodbyes.

I looked around again and sat down on the bed. I can unpack later. I just want to disappear into my own world for a little bit before I settle in and try to be sociable. I didn't really get a chance to think much as I was interrupted by a bouncing pixie coming at me. She was short, pale and had short dark hair that was spiked in many different directions but suited her very well. I heard a distinct "Eeeeeeekkkkkk" as she ran at me at launched herself at me and knocked both of us onto the bed.

"Hi, I'm Alice, you must be Bella. I'm so glad you're here. I just know we are going to be great friends." she said after she finally settled down a bit. I know I should probably be frightened by this little pixie that just attacked me, but there was something comforting about her, and I actually found myself laughing with her. Maybe she was right, maybe we will be great friends. She showed me around the room a bit. Luckily we have two closets so I will have plenty of space for my small wardrobe. She helped me unpack bit had looked a bit sour the whole time she helped me put my clothes away and I thought I heard her mumble something about getting a new wardrobe. We went back out into the living room and I offered to make dinner for them. The first night went great and we talked late into the night. I showered, went to bed and almost immediately fell asleep.

I had more dreams about Edward that night, on top of what I was use to, I had new memories added. Everything that happened last night now joined with all of my previous painful memories to twist and haunt me through the night. I woke up the next morning not feeling too great. I must have been a restless sleeper because I feel like I went through a ringer during the night. When I finally opened my eyes I saw Alice sitting on the edge of my bed looking at me with worry in her eyes.

* * *

"Bella, who is Edward?" It should be a simple question, but I didn't know how to answer. He was the love of my life, he is the one who broke me. He is who I gave myself to, in every way possible; he was my best friend, and the last person I wanted to see. He was my life line, and the reason I felt dead. He was the reason my mom left, took me out of Forks, and the reason I wanted to stay. Alice was already acting as more of a friend as anyone else ever has. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to talk to her about it. Maybe I need some outside input to help me figure out where to go from here.

"Well, do you want the long version or the reader's digest?" I asked as I sat up and she climbed onto my bed the rest of the way. As I started talking Rose came in. I decided I would talk to her too. I'm sure she could help as well. I made them promise not to tell Emmett and gave them the whole story, from the very beginning. I just left out anything that would help them make the connection to Emmett's roommate.

"The best thing I can tell you to do is tell you to talk to lover boy. I think maybe finding out why he didn't answer or call you would help. You never know if there was maybe a different reason than you think. It could just be a misunderstanding." Alice said in her most comforting voice.

"I don't agree. He had his chance and he didn't take it. That's his fault. Good riddance to him. Leave it to us, we will find you someone more deserving of you. It'll be fun to hit the single scene again. I haven't been a part of it in so long. We can even start tonight." Rose said, trying to be reassuring. I don't really think I'm ready to start looking for a new guy yet, but I guess it'll be something to keep my mind off of him for awhile.

"Yeah. I've been dating my guy for awhile now too, it'll be fun to go out and have a girl's night out!" Alice almost squealed.

"Who are you dating Alice? Anyone we know?" I asked. I wasn't one to gossip, but I was ready to get the attention off of me now.

"I don't know if you guys know him, his name is Jasper. He is Edward, Emmett's roommate's, brother." She answered. Crap. She knows Edward, my Edward. Wait, not my Edward. Why does she have to know him. I really hope I didn't give them a reason to link us together.

"Bella, are you okay? You look a little red. Did I say something wrong? Wait, you said you're guys name is Edward right? You don't mean Edward Cullen do you?" Alice asked. Why does she have to pay so much attention to me. This can't be good.

"Oh my god, Bella. You were with _that_ Edward! I can't believe it! No wonder you wanted out of the apartment so fast. I can't believe it." Rose said incredulously.

"So you're that Bella. I've heard a lot about you. No wander why I felt like I knew you so well. I've heard about you for years." Alice said, still in disbelief, but with a smile growing on her face.

"Okay, okay, so now you know who it is. Can we just drop this now? It's not going to help the situation. I'm really not ready to get any more into it right now. He made his choice then, as he is now. He hasn't even tried to call me yesterday or today. So my first thoughts were right. He doesn't want me, I was just convenient for him. I was an easy notch on his bed post because I have no stop button when it comes to him. I wish I could have stopped what happened, at least if I was smart I would want that. He is my weak spot. I want to be that for him, but he doesn't want me. I refuse to be somebody's fuck buddy!" I said, getting louder as I went on, and trying to push back the tears again. I refuse to cry over him anymore. I got up then and grabbed some clothes and my shower bag and ran into the bathroom.

**APOV**

I had a feeling that Bella was the very same one that Edward had been sulking over since he was a teenager. I've been with his brother for about three years so far and I have heard about her probably the whole time. He seemed pretty torn up over her even then. If he still even feels a small part of that now, then I know I can make this work. I need to go see Edward and see where he stands. I guess while Bella is in the shower is the best time. Then I won't have to explain where I am going.

I went over to the apartment and started banging on the door. I want him to know I mean business. He finally answered the door and I brushed past him and sat on the couch. I gave him a look and waved my hand to get him to join. I needed to do this quick so I could get my plan in motion. He finally joined me on the couch.

"Alice what are you doing here?" Edward asked a little cautiously. I did not have enough time to keep things proper. If I'm going to make a plan for them, I need to get this done.

"Why didn't you call her, Edward? She called you, and you didn't answer, and now she gave herself to you and you didn't even try to make contact. Don't you like her? Why would you spend all this time sulking and then when you get a chance you let her leave again?" I asked in a rushed tone.

"Alice, what are you talking about? Can you at least give me a clue as to what you are going on about?" He asked. He can't really be that clueless can he? Does he do this a lot that I would have to specify who I am talking about?

"Bella, Edward. I am talking about Bella." I told him; at the mention of her name I saw his face drop a little. Now we are getting somewhere. "Why didn't you call her before, and why aren't you trying to contact her now. Does she not mean anything to you? Was she just a game for you, or do you actually care for her? I saw how you were torn up over her before, is that still the case or are you over her now?" I asked, raising my eyebrows, trying to pry into his mind.

"Of course she means something to me Alice, she always has, you know that. Why would you think any differently? I did try to call her before, but I couldn't get an answer, and when I did get a hold of Charlie he said they left and he didn't have a phone number for them. I didn't call her yesterday because she said she didn't want to be with me. She said it was a mistake, a moment of weakness. She never called me either. It's not just on me." He replied back to me. I could see the pain and some anger spreading across his face. I can't help but smile a little knowing now that my plan will work. The only thing I'm most worried about is trying to make these two realize that the other person really wants them. That shouldn't be too hard though.

"She did try to call you before. She said she called your cell phone a lot, but never got an answer then it got disconnected, and she said she tried to call your house about a week after she left, but no one answered. She left yesterday because she thinks you don't want her. From the way you left before and then not trying to contact her, she thinks she was a game for you, just a conquest. You have to prove to her she was more than that. If you really love her you have to prove it. She loves you Edward, and only you can convince her you feel the same. I hope you will believe me telling you. I know she won't believe it from anyone but you though. Even that will take time Edward. You did a lot of damage to her back then. You need to make it right."

Hopefully this will all get through to him, I know he can be dense sometimes, but hopefully his love for her will make him understand a bit easier this time.

After I talked to Edward I rushed back to the apartment to talk to Rose. Hopefully she can help me find a way to get them back together. We decided to keep things simple for a while and let them get back their friendship so they can get things back to how they should be. Once things are where we want them to be we will drop the curtain and go for more of a grand gesture. I'm so excited. I don't consider myself a meddler, but when two people are heading the wrong direction, I will jump in to fix it.

We let Bella have a couple days so she could settle in and get used to her schedule and new home. We want her as comfortable as possible for this to work. She seems to be adjusting so far and is opening up a bit around us, we are actually getting to see some of the real her. We arranged to start our plans the weekend after she moved in. We want to keep our gathering small so that they would have optimal time to get reacquainted with each other.

On Friday we made sure Bella came home right after work so we could start work on her. I love her already, but the girl doesn't have much in the way of fashion sense. Rose and I found her the perfect outfit and can't wait to make her perfect for Edward. She finally got home and we pushed her toward the shower immediately. After she got out we put her in her clothes, a dark blue V-neck shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. We did her makeup light, but highlighted her eyes a bit. I heard Edward mention how much he loves her eyes before. We left her hair loose but added some waves to it. I have to admit, she looked hot, but still simple enough to stay in. We decided for the first day we would keep to our apartment and have dinner and play any games that will give us the outcome we need.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

BPOV

Tonight was the first night of our little gatherings. Alice claims we don't get to spend enough time together with all of our friends. I think tonight is game night. I'm actually really looking forward to it, but am also nervous about spending time around Edward. I'm hoping now that we won't really be seeing each other often, I can just keep a friendly front with him. I got dinner ready and helped set up some of the games. The boys came over a few minutes later. If I had ever thought I had seen Edward at his best, I was sorely mistaken. It shouldn't be legal to look the way he does. He was wearing a pair of jeans and black t-shirt that made the brightness of his eyes pop.

I managed to pull myself out of my daze before I started drooling and set the food on the table. We all ate and the conversation flowed. It was turning out to be easier than I thought to be in Edward's presence. It was also nice to be around Jasper again. We all caught up a bit before we got down to business. We broke out Apples to Apples for an ice breaker. It really is one of the best games. It was going along smoothly until we got toward the end. Edward and I were tied in green apples and only needed one more for the win. He kept glancing over and giving me a smug smile, but what caught me off guard was the sparkle in his emerald eyes. I hadn't seen it for so long. It would have been my downfall too, if I didn't have a guaranteed winning card.

Emmett was the judge this round and pulled "Extreme" as the green apple. I knew this would work to in my favor, and with Emmett as the judge, I couldn't lose. We all put down our red apple cards and he read them aloud. First he read 'the south' that had Jasper written all over it. Next was 'psychics' at which Alice smiled, pretty much claiming her own. Emmett had a huge grin and just smiled as he looked at Rosalie and read 'lemons'. All that was left was Edward's and mine. Let the showdown begin. Edward thought that he had bagged it, as Emmett read out 'my body' he could barely keep the laugh from escaping. At the same time he read it, Edward glanced my way and raised one eyebrow seductively. It may have worked a little, if I wasn't so happy about my upcoming win. When Emmett got to mine, he boomed "Spontaneous Combustion, you can't get any more extreme than that!"

I jumped up and claimed my card, waving it in Edward's face, like the graceful winner I am, and shoved his shoulder trying to push him over. Before I knew it he had grabbed my arm and pulled me down with him. I landed lying on top of him, almost face to face. He stared into my eyes, and gave me that heart stopping smile. It took me a moment to get my brain started again. Before I could gather myself, he flipped us over and started tickling my sides. He has always known how unbelievably ticklish I am and used to constantly use it against me.

"Help...can't ...breathe...guys..." I managed to get out between laughs. Emmett was the only one to make a move, just in the wrong direction. He went to the freezer and got out a bowl of grapes. He started throwing them at us while I was trying to wriggle free from Edward's hold. I managed to control my laughter long enough to grab a few grapes and chuck them back at the spectators. Alice managed to get the bowl away from Emmett and ran over to the spot Edward and I were at on the floor. As she ran up behind us I managed to grab Edward's hands and keep them in place. Alice then pulled out his waistband to his pants and dumped the remainder of the frozen grapes into them.

Edward jumped up doing an amazing version of the 'ants in my pants' dance. At the same time Emmett put a big frown on his face, mustered his saddest voice and said "I was going to eat those" and fake cried.

"You're more than welcome to, just know that I will never kiss you again" Rosalie said as an amused grin moved across her face.

Emmett broke out an evil grin and threw her over his shoulder than onto the couch in full attack mode, saying "I'd ...rather...do ...this" in between kisses to Rose.

I looked around from the spot behind the counter that I was hiding in, and saw Alice on the floor laughing and Edward still dancing around with his hand down the back of his pants, trying to remove the offending grapes. Lastly I saw Jasper, staying just out of the way getting pictures of the whole charade going on around him.

After we all recovered, we decided to watch a movie. Rose and Emmett took the couch, Alice and Jasper had the loveseat and Edward and I occupied the floor leaning against opposite edges of the couch. I was doing better around him, but wasn't quite ready to be near him in the dark movie atmosphere. Alice put in Stardust and we all watched it quietly besides the random comments Emmett was spitting out.

The next thing I remembered was slowly opening my eyes and trying to adjust the awkward pillow under my head. I got frustrated that I couldn't readjust it so tried to get it to budge by punching it.

"Ow" I heard a velvet voice say in surprise.

I looked up at where the noise came from and saw the most perfect face staring back at me. It seems my pillow was actually a pair of legs. Oops.

"What are you doing here?" I asked my voice still full of sleep.

"You were starting to doze off and almost fell over. I caught you before your head hit the floor and you curled up into me. I tried to pick you up to get you to your room but you complained and told me not to leave. So, here we are." He replied matter of factly.

I tried sitting up, but wasn't quite awake enough and fell back towards him. I managed to land my head on his shoulder. Not exactly what I wanted, but I was making progress. "Where is everyone else? Did they leave you here?" I asked, after realizing we were alone.

"No, they got tired too and Jasper and Alice went in her room and Rose and Emmett went to theirs. So I'm stuck out here for the night."

"Well you won't be alone, I share a room with Alice, I don't really think I want to be in there with the two of them. So I guess I'm stuck out here too." While talking I got up, finally, and went to the linen closet. I pulled out some blankets and extra pillows we keep stashed in there. I walked back over to Edward and dropped the pillow on him, then placed the blanket over his head. "You can have the big couch, I will take the love seat" I said, sitting down on my respective bed for the night.

He tried to argue, but I quickly got comfortable and told him I wasn't moving. I laid there for awhile, trying to will myself to sleep, but it wasn't coming. I guess I wasn't the only one. About twenty minutes after lying down, I heard a barely audible "Bella?" coming from across the living room.

"Yeah?"

"I can't sleep" was all he said back.

"Me either, but I don't think talking is going to help you sleep"

"I missed you, I miss you" he replied, with sadness in his voice.

"I missed you too Edward," I responded, the same sadness now mixed in with my voice."Go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning"

"Goodnight Bella, sweet dreams." With that he started humming an unfamiliar tune. I didn't think much of it. He always used to make up little melodies and hum them when he was thinking. This one seemed to go straight into my heart though, bringing with it feelings of warmth, comfort, home, but mostly love. It didn't take me long after that to fall asleep.

My dreams still contained Edward, but not any of the bad memories. My sleep was full of happy times we shared, and our intimate moments. All of it seemed perfect and happy. It even had pieces from now, us with our friends, being close and happy. I wish I could stay in my dream world. I would like to stay in a place I could have my own angel with me, and not worry about it all going wrong.

I awoke the next morning with my favorite voice saying my name. I wasn't completely awake, and grabbed the arm shaking my shoulder and pulled it around me as I turned to face the back of the couch. I felt something put a little pressure on the top of my head, then heard the velvet voice again. "Bella, love, wake up. We are about to eat breakfast." Confusion set in as I opened my eyes. I turned back to see Edward sitting in front of the couch, with my hand holding his around my waist. I looked over the couch and saw the others cooking and setting the table. Alice glanced over, beaming at me. I quickly let go of his hand and sat up. Maybe a little too quickly. I swayed a little and Edward put his hands on my shoulders to keep me up. He looked straight into my eyes with a slightly amused look playing in them. I stood up to break myself out of his trance and went to help the others.

I helped them finish breakfast, after effectively kicking the boys out of the kitchen. Emmett just kept trying to eat everything he saw, and all Jasper was accomplishing was distracting Alice and by the look in her eyes at what he was saying, they were at risk of contaminating our counter space. I really don't think any us needed to be exposed to that at this hour, or any hour for that matter, of the day. We all sat down to eat, each person sitting next to their other halves, which left Edward and I sitting next to each other. I tried to avoid staring at him, and was mostly successful. The few times I did allow myself to glance at him, he would be staring right into my eyes, with a longing look, and a small sad smile playing on his lips.

I really didn't know what I was supposed to do about him. We had our times, like the previous night, where everything fell into place, and all seemed well. We could just be happy around each other and enjoy the company, without any strain or resentment toward each other. However other times all I could think about when I looked at him was our past, and all the hurt we had been through, and still couldn't help but think that he doesn't now and never did want me. I knew I shouldn't over think things, and I should just let them play out the way they should, but I was still so afraid to get hurt by him again, or realized I was just being used.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The six of us were getting closer and were spending a lot of time together. I was starting to get more comfortable around Edward and parts of our old friendship were peaking through. We spent a lot of the time trying to make each other laugh and trying to come up with the stupidest things to do.

We kept up our game night. We played everything from a rousing game of Mario Party to the controversial ' Hungry, Hungry Hippos" which started a slew of "your mom's a hippo" followed by other 'your mom' jokes. It ended with Edward winning and me pelting him with every marble from the game board, and then the board itself.

For a change of pace one night we decided to go to a restaurant to eat. We all piled into Emmett's jeep. 'Baby got Back' came on the radio and Emmett turned it up. We all started singing loudly and dancing to it. Rose was upfront with Emmett and she was doing the mashed potato and the swim, two things I never thought I would see from such a reformed, mature person. Alice was in the middle doing the cabbage patch and trying to work the jive in too. She kept nudging Jasper, who was trying to avoid dancing. He finally gave in and did a very modest 'raise the roof' much to our amusement. Edward couldn't do much as he was about to fall out of the jeep laughing. I kept up a good mixture of the sprinkler and my car version of the running man. Unfortunately I noticed a little too late that Jasper had brought the camera back out.

By time we finally got to the restaurant we were all trying to regain normal breathing habits and were clutching our sides. Edward put his arm around me to help keep me upright. I ignored my first instinct of pushing him away and let myself enjoy the closeness. I think he expected me to push him away as well. As soon as his hand wrapped around my waist, a look of worry crossed his face. I just smiled at him and continued to head into the restaurant.

I think that ended up giving him a bit of a courage boost. As the night went on, he seemed to be testing his boundaries by managing to keep some kind of physical contact with me all night. He kept his arm around my waist the whole way to our round corner table, and moved it to the small of my back as he pulled my chair out for me. He took his seat next to me, managing to pull his chair closer to mine as he pulled it in towards the table as well. Throughout the night, he would alternate putting his arm on the back of my chair while playing with my hair or he would place his hand on my thigh if he wanted to get my attention. Little did he know, he had my attention all night. Regardless of the conversations around me, and how involved I may have acted, throwing nods and random variations of 'uh huh's' and mmhmm's around as needed, my full attention stayed completely on him. I made sure not to stare him down the whole dinner, but I was unnaturally aware of every movement he made, the closeness of every part of his body to mine, every shift of his eyes, the smirk of his lips and anything little thing he said. I may not have understood any of his responses, as he was commenting on things the others were talking about.

Every so often through the night he would catch my gaze, probably feeling the hole I was burning into him with my constant watching him, he would smile just a little more and I could see a twinkle catch in his eyes. Anytime he looked at me I could feel my breath catch and hoped he hadn't noticed. I was hating and loving how amazing this closeness was feeling. I was even more afraid now than I had ever been that I was falling in love with Edward Cullen. I knew he was capable of breaking my heart again, and I had no idea if he even felt the same way about me as I did him. If the way he had been treating me said anything, I would be a fool to think he didn't. But I had always known I was a bit of a fool. It was still so hard to convince myself that he would ever feel as strongly toward me as I did him.

***o0o0o0o0o0***

The Holidays were coming up and we were all trying to secure our plans. We decided to do Thanksgiving together, then we would all go home for Christmas. Rose and Emmett came from around the same area and were going home together. Alice was going to the Cullen's home with Jasper and Edward. I decided to see my father for the first time in five years and go home to Forks. That allowed me to travel back with Edward, Jasper and Alice as the Cullens still lived in Forks as well. I was a little nervous to go back. Living in a small town meant everyone knows your business and they didn't let it go too easily. Needless to say, arriving back there with Edward, even if I wasn't _with _Edward, would still cause people to talk.

Thanksgiving went great with our group of friends, and time seemed to race forward to winter break. Alice decided to take over my packing, lacking a confidence in my ability to pack proper outfits.

"Alice, it's just Forks. Have you been to Forks, let me inform you of how it is there. It's cold, it's rainy. I don't need any fancy outfits. Just my jeans and sweatshirts. I don't want to freeze."

"Silly Bella," she said in an almost mocking tone. "How do you expect to impress guys in jeans and flannels? You will still be warm and you can look good too."

"Who am I trying to impress? There aren't any guys in Forks I like. I really have no desire to pursue anyone." I tried to reason with her.

"The boy you should look good for may not be in Forks now, but he will be. I know you don't try to pursue anyone, but believe me, this guy won't need much convincing," she replied with a mischievous grin.

Jasper and Edward came up to help us with our bags. We all piled in the Volvo and headed to the airport.

They boys made sure we all got first class seats. Alice and Jasper sat together which left Edward and I together. I put on my iPod and re-introduced my Jane Austin book to the world. Edward kept tapping my shoulder and asking what I was listening to. He wouldn't let me get more than a paragraph into my book.

"What'cha listening to?" he asked in an overly innocent voice, for the seventh time in ten minutes.

"I already told you. What is with you today? Don't you have music to listen to?" I asked, getting a little frustrated, but still laughing.

"No, I forgot it at home..." he said, a little saddened. So that's why he is bugging me. I scooted a little closer to him and took out one of my ear buds and gave it to him. We are alike in the way we can't go anywhere without music.

He gave me his crooked grin and thanked me. I put my book away, knowing I wouldn't be able to read it now. We spent most of the trip talking about music we've been listening to while we were apart. I went through and let him listen to some new stuff I had.

After awhile I was starting to get tired, but couldn't find a comfortable way to sleep. "What's with all the moving and squirming?" he asked, faking irritation.

"I'm trying to get comfortable so I can sleep, but can't seem to find a way to relax." He just smiled at me and started shifting in his seat. He turned his body toward me and lifted the arm rest. He reached over me and undid my seatbelt. Then he put an arm behind me and shifted me so I was leaning against his chest, with his arms around me. I tried to protest, but my argument wasn't very strong as I was too comfortable to move.

It didn't take long to fall asleep, wrapped up in my own angel and sharing music with him like we used to do.

"Bella" I heard over my shoulder as his scent crossed my face. It relaxed me even more and I turned my face into his neck, and pulled myself closer to him. He wrapped his arms tighter and pulled me in and buried his face in my hair. I was almost back asleep when I heard him say my name again.

"Hmmm" was all I could manage.

"Bella, love, we are almost there. You have to sit up and put your seat belt back on."

"I don't want to move. I like it here." I responded. I woke up a little more then and realized where I was. I jolted up and out of his arms and put my seat belt back on. I need to stop letting myself get close to him. It's confusing my judgment and is only going to lead to more heartache.

We landed and got off the plane. Charlie was working today so the Cullens offered to take me to my house. I hugged Esme and Carlisle when I saw them at the airport. They used to be like my second parents. I spent a lot of time with them while my parents were busy. It seems they missed me too. Esme came over to me first, saying my name softly. I could see tears threatening to escape as she pulled me into a tight, motherly hug. I hugged her back, with a feeling that told me I was home. After holding onto her a few moments longer than a normal hug required, I backed away and Carlisle took her place, giving me a hug as well. I said hi to Carlisle and let everyone else get in their greetings. We got in the car as they drove me to my dad's house.

I waved bye and told them I would see them later. I walked up the steps and looked at my old house. It felt completely different but looked exactly the same. I got the spare key from the door jamb and let myself in. I walked in and looked around.

It felt like I stepped right back into the past. I looked around a little then went into my room. As soon as I opened my bedroom door I dropped to the ground. My dad must not have come in here at all after we left. Everything was exactly as it was that night. The blankets were still all messed up. I could see articles of clothes still scattered, and even Edward's shoes. He was in such a hurry to leave that night that he didn't bother grabbing them, or his shirt that I could see hanging off my rocking chair. While I was sitting on the floor, something under the bed caught my eye. I crawled to it, not trusting myself to stand, and picked up the object. Edward's cell phone. I guess I now know why he never answered.

I sat there for a minute, then decided to pull out my own phone. I found the name I wanted and hit send. It rang three times before I got an answer.

"Hello?"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Hey." I replied, a little shaky, still not sure if I could get enough voice out.

"Bella? Are you okay? What's wrong? Did you fall, are you hurt?"

"I'm okay. Thanks for the vote of confidence there. So, umm, they might not fit anymore, but do you want your shoes?" I said, trying to lighten up the mood.

"What do you mean? Why do you have my shoes?" Edward asked, still sounding confused.

"No, you left your shoes here. Along with a shirt I'm not sure if I want to give back, and your cell phone." I replied, hoping he would understand.

"Oh, I forgot about that stuff. What, did your dad actually leave it all there for you? I figured he would have thrown it out."

"Nope, apparently he never came in her after that. Everything is exactly how we left it. Not exactly what I wanted to come home to." I said somberly.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I can come over. I will help you clean up. We aren't really doing anything here so I can get away for awhile. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Thank you. The door is unlocked. Just come up when you get here." I would have argued and told him to stay home, but I knew I wouldn't be able to take care of everything by myself. Too much pain is involved in all of this. Maybe if he helps we can clear up some of the stuff between us too.

It is amazing how much hurt can come back to you in just an instant. I also noticed I felt other feelings pour back into me as well. I remember feeling all the love, and lust we had coursing through or veins and bodies that night. I may have been young then, but I knew and still know for a fact that I loved that amazing boy. I realized I still had the same feelings for him now, and they managed to get much stronger over time. I was really amazed at how much closer we had gotten over the past few months of hanging out, mostly with our friends, but also we had a rare chance to be just him and I from time to time as well. By his actions, of how he acted around me and treated me, I could hope that he felt the same way towards me as well. He treated me so well, and always acted lovingly toward me now. It was so comfortable and warm spending time with him. I never felt awkward toward this gorgeous man anymore, and rarely thought of the pain we had caused each other.

I decided from that point I would try giving him a chance. I would not however, bring it up or start anything. I decided to let things play themselves out and see if he would initiate anything. He seemed to be cautious in the past as to how to act around me, luckily though he was relaxing around me a lot more and just being himself, without putting as much thought into his actions. We will just have to see if he can catch a clue and take the lead in our relationship. If he wants there to be a relationship, it will be all up to him now. I will just have to hope he wants the same things I do.

A few minutes later I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. "Bella?"

"In here." He reached the top of the stairs and I saw the look of pain shoot across his face, and just as quickly it was gone. He reached his hand out to me to lift me from my spot on the floor. He pulled me up and wrapped me in his arms, resting his head on mine. No words needed to be said, just with the look on his face, and our reactions toward each other, we said our apologies and our comforting words. He held me for a few moments and just let me rest into him, until he knew I could hold myself up.  
He let me go and we started cleaning up. I stripped the bed so I could wash the sheets and he started picking up our clothes. He picked up my bra and underwear and held it out in front of him. "If I remember correctly, I really liked these on you." As he said it I saw his famous smile spread on his face.

"Hey buddy, we aren't here to play with the clothes, we are just cleaning them up. Wipe that smile off your face and stop picturing me in that. You don't hide your thoughts that well." I told him in mock irritation, feeling the heat rising in my face and trying to hide the smile that was threatening to come out.

"You know I could threaten to take it, it would only be fair since you are trying to take my shirt. It's not like you could use these anymore." He said with a laugh.

"Okay, you went from funny to creepy, now put it down." I told him. I picked up his cell phone again and showed it to him. Now seems like the best time to talk about the past. "So is this why you didn't answer the phone?"

"Yeah, I didn't realize I left without it until I was almost home. I tried to call you after I got home. The first couple times no one picked up. Then your dad finally picked up the fifth time and said you were gone." He answered, showing the pain and sadness in his face again.

"I called you for four days straight, then it said it was disconnected. I tried calling your house a week after I left, but I didn't get an answer there either." I told him, I'm sure the same pain was now showing clearly in my face as well.  
"When I couldn't find my phone, my parents took me to get a new one. Since the first one was lost they had me get a new number. My parents took me out of town the weekend after to try to cheer me up a little." By this point, we were both sitting on the bed. Him with my old dress that he was in the process of picking up, in his hands. I was holding his old cell phone still.  
"I called your dad after we got back and he told me you and your mom moved away and he didn't have any information. He sounded like he wanted to be mad at me, but didn't have the strength. I've never heard him so broken. What made you guys leave?" He asked, his head hanging down and shoulders slumped, almost mirroring my posture.

I scooted toward him a bit and laced my hand with his. "After you left, my dad and I got into a fight. He called my mom and made her come home to 'take care of her daughter'. They both spent some time yelling at me. I didn't hear much of what they said, I kind of went into my own world, trying to rationalize and figure out why you left so quick, you didn't say anything, you didn't defend us, you didn't even throw me a shirt," I said, letting a small chuckle escape my throat. "After that my parents started yelling at each other and arguing over which one was more incompetent. Then my mom yelled at me to pack, when I was done she dragged me out of the house and drove south till she found a place to start over." I could feel the tears starting to build again.

"I was so scared that night, I kept thinking Charlie was going to kill me, or arrest me. I didn't know what to do and I panicked. I wasn't really ready to handle that, any of it. I'm sorry I left. After I did, I realized that I shouldn't have left you like that. I hope you can forgive me at some point, but I understand if you don't. I can't really blame you. I took advantage of you and then left. It's been eating away at me this whole time."

"I do forgive you, I'm sure it was hard to be in your place too. You didn't take advantage of me, I wanted it too. If I didn't I would have stopped you. I guess we just weren't ready to handle the consequences of it though. I'm sorry for blowing up at you at the coffee shop, and repetitively after that too. You just seemed like my own personal bad omen for awhile. I know it wasn't right but I kind of put it on you that my mom and dad split. Seeing as we caused the argument that ended them, and pulled me away from everyone I loved. Then you didn't answer. It didn't help that my mom kept reminding me how horrible guys are, and how much I disappointed her. My life after that night was Hell. Then at the coffee shop, I was already in a bad mood, and was not prepared for you to come walking back into my life. Then you got angry and made me feel worse, so I yelled back."

"I'm just glad I didn't order hot coffee that day. I apologize for the donut. I didn't even mean for that to happen. It just happened to be laying where my hand ended up." At that he started to smile again. "I really didn't mean to cover you in jelly either."

"It wasn't jelly, it was custard. You got lemon custard in my eye." I said as stern as I could, still trying to hold back from laughing. "After that my boss fired me, and I went home to try and wind down. I got to my apartment and my neighbor and her boyfriend were going at it, loudly, so I started yelling at them too, and banging the wall with a broomstick. Apparently that's not proper conduct, so I got kicked out. That's why I was at Emmett's when you came back."

"I'm really sorry. I don't mean to keep ruining your life." Any traces of happiness left his face and he just looked broken. I had always wanted him to feel bad for what he had a hand in doing to my life, and for leaving me that night. However, now that we were discussing it, and seeing that perfect face contorted into pain, sadness and guilt, I would gladly endure the worst torment ever to wash that look away and replace it with the crooked smile that belonged there more than anything else.  
"In all honesty, you didn't. It may sound like it, but it's actually better now. My mom and dad were going to split eventually anyway. So that wasn't really our fault. You getting me kicked out of my job and apartment worked out too. I love working at the bookstore, and moving in with Alice and Rose is such a great thing for me. I love being with them. Now I even have better friends. I am glad too since we get to be around each other more. I missed having my best friend around. Seeing you now just reminds me how great that was. You may have knocked me down a bit at first, but in a matter of a week since you walked back into my life, everything turned out perfect. I should actually be thanking you." With that I turned to him and gave him a hug. It really did feel good to get it all out into the open. Now at least I don't have to wonder what happened, and I can enjoy my friend. I'd love to have him as more, but I know he doesn't want me like that.

He wrapped his hands around me and pulled me into him, causing me to sit in his lap. We stayed there wrapped in each other for what felt like forever, but not nearly long enough. The moment was almost perfect, but probably looked a little compromising. So naturally, my dad walked in.  



	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"BELLA! What are you doing, this is what I get to come home to, again." I could see the anger rising in his face.

"Dad, I'm not doing anything. I hugged him, that's it. Don't worry, I learned my lesson, I wouldn't do anything more in this house again." I replied, climbing off of Edward's lap.

"You! What are you doing here? I thought we got rid of you." My dad said, looking at Edward.

"Sorry Chief Swan. We were just talking. I came over to help her clean up." Edward said with a hint of fear in his face.

"Well, it looks clean to me, you can go now." Charlie said to Edward. Edward stayed where he was and looked over at me. I nodded letting him know he could go, and said bye.

I walked over to my dad and gave him a hug and said hi. He just kind of grunted and walked back down stairs. I followed him down so we could figure out dinner.

Things with Charlie were a little rocky that night, not that they had ever been overly easy. He just kept giving me unsure glances and acting like he was going to say something, or ask a question, but nothing ever came out. I asked him a few questions, just trying to catch up and break the silence. It worked a little bit, but my father being a man of few words, didn't last long.

The next morning and from then on things went better. It was nice getting to spend some quality time with my father. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him until then. It was actually getting easy to be around him. He wasn't at all high maintenance like my mother. Yes, I did have to cook for us, and clean up a bit, but I never really minded doing those things anyways, so it's not like I was put out by it.

A couple days later my dad was working late again so I went to the Cullen home. I wasn't sure if much had changed since I was last here so I knocked and waited at the door. Esme answered and laughed a little at me. "Since when have you had to knock, you know you're always welcome in," she said as she let me in and took me into a hug. "Edward is in his room if you want to get him. Lunch will be done soon." I didn't know if she was just saying that out of habit of old times, or she didn't realize that Alice and I had actually become close enough that I may be here to see her, but all in all, it wasn't a big deal either way, and I did really just want to see Edward.

It seemed so normal now. I guess when I finally gave into my wants and decided to go all in and try things again with Edward, my old confidence came with it. I had noticed as time went by and we were getting closer, I started feeling more like my old self. The happy, confident Bella. Oh how I missed her.

I ran in and waved at Jasper as I headed up the stairs, feeling a bit of déjà-vu. This time I made it all the way up the stairs, without falling, major accomplishment for me. I knocked once on the door and opened it to go in. When I got passed the doorway I saw Heaven. I swear, the Heaven's opened up and Jesus touched me. I even think I heard a chorus of "Aaaaaahhhh's" coming from somewhere in the background. Close enough anyways. Edward was standing by the foot of his bed in just a pair of very low hanging jeans. He was drying his unruly locks with a towel while water droplets were finding their way down his very bare chest. It was beautifully defined. Just enough to see all the indents of his muscles, but still managed to look lean, it wasn't any bulk muscle like Emmett had. It also showed a very defined V shape heading down to under the waistband of his pants. Wow. My breath hitched, my heart stopped and I could feel the blush rise to my cheeks as I just stood there ogling this god in front of me.

I finally got coherent enough and turned to leave, but his hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me back, catching me when I almost fell. "You don't have to leave, you've seen me in less," he said, giving me his crooked smile. I went over to his couch and sat down while he finished getting dressed.

"So, what do you want to do today?" I asked, trying to distract my thoughts from the path they were traveling down.

"Alice and Jasper are going to Port Angeles to shop, so we can either go with them, or I was thinking we could go to the meadow."

"Meadow!" I said excitedly, bouncing a little in my seat. I hadn't been there in forever. "Is it still there? Does it look the same?"

"It is still there, and it will look a little bit different since its winter. It should still be fine though."

We left after lunch and packed some snacks and blankets. We made our familiar drive listening to music. It was weird actually being able to drive ourselves to it. Granted we've both been able to drive for a number of years, but when we regularly visited the meadow someone always had to take us or we'd make the long trek on foot.

We hiked through the woods and finally found the clearing. The only thing missing was the flowers. Everything else was still beautiful. The canopies and the grass were covered in a small layer of snow that had fallen just the day before. It made the sunlight that was making a rare appearance reflect off of everything, illuminating the whole meadow. It made it look that much more magical. We put out the blankets and laid down next to each other and talked and watched the clouds go by. We mostly spent the time catching up on what we missed in each other's lives. I found out he hadn't really dated since me, it seemed like he was skirting around something on that topic, but I decided not to push it and let him bring it up when he was ready. He also said that he was studying medicine like his father. He was doing more of the lab and research part of it though. He said something about an aversion to any amount of blood.

We finally left a little before twilight. We wanted to make sure we were out of the woods by then. We drove back towards Forks, pulling off to the side of the road to watch the sun finish setting and the stars get brighter. It was an amazing time of night and made it seem like anything was possible. I looked over and Edward was staring out the window, watching the magic happen as it does every night, but seems that much better, here in Forks.

He glanced at me for a second, flashing me a smile. I put my hand on his, hoping he wouldn't mind, but it just felt right. We stayed like that till the last bit of light was gone. He finished the drive and before I knew it we were parked in front of my dad's house. He got out and opened my door for me and walked me up to the door. As he went to say bye, he looked like he was having some sort of internal debate. He finally seemed to have decided on what he was trying to figure out, then said bye to me, leaned in and gave me a hug, and after one more small hesitation, gave me a kiss on the cheek. I told him bye as well and he went back to his car. Before getting in he called out to me and wished me sweet dreams. He finally climbed into his car, and after I unlocked the front door to go in, he drove off.

***o0o0o0o0o0o***

I celebrated Christmas with Charlie. It was nice to spend some time with him. I cooked him a nice holiday dinner. The group and I decided to exchange presents when we all got back together for new years. I knew Charlie was never huge on holiday celebration, and at a loss of what to get me, so we kept everything to a minimum. We exchanged presents, he got me some sort of survival kit. It contained pepper spray, a tazer and some other odds and ends to keep me safe if ever attacked. When I opened it, all I could do was look up at him and let out a chuckle. I know not many girls would be grateful for this type of gift, but with the police chief being your father, and especially with how emotional, or lack there of, that my father was, this really was a nice gift. I knew he was worried about my safety at college, and around random people, add the danger magnet I am, and this really was a more perfect gift than I could ever expect.

"Don't be afraid to use that on that Edward either," he said after I opened it. I couldn't respond, all I could do was give a chuckle and say thanks.

I got him a new tackle box full of various lures and things needed in fishing. It was still my dads favorite pass time, so I thought he would appreciate it. That and I really didn't know what else I could possibly get him.

The rest of week passed quickly and finally it was time to hang out with Edward, Jasper and Alice. We had made plans earlier in the trip to hang out together the night before we left Forks. I was told to go over there early so I could shower and let Alice get me ready. I said bye to my dad and piled my stuff in the car. Our group was going out tonight and we left for the airport tomorrow, so I was just going to stay with the Cullens tonight. I got in Edward's car and off we went to his house.

Alice met me at the door and ushered me upstairs. She shoved me in a bathroom and told me to shower with what she put in there and then go to her and Jasper's room. I took my shower and wrapped in the towel and headed to the room. As soon as I turned out of the bathroom I ran into a soft wall. I brought my eyes up and was met by Edward standing right in front of me, staring right back down at me. I blushed a new shade of red and moved out of his grasp and ran to Alice's room as carefully as possible. I may just be paranoid, but I swear I could feel his eyes on me the whole way to their room.

I finally got in the room and put on the outfit that Alice set out for me and let her do my hair and makeup. In the end, I was rather impressed. She put me in a navy blue sweater dress, which I'm not usually a fan of, but it worked, along with some black leggings to help keep me warm. She did a pretty natural make-up, but accented my eyes a little darker. She let me keep my converse on, and she gave my hair some wild waves. We went down stairs to meet the boys. Edward, as usual looked phenomenal. He was wearing a black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a pair of dark jeans.

Jasper took Alice's hand and they went out the door. Edward took my hand and wrapped it around his arm, pulling me closer to him. He moved his head down near my ear. "You look beautiful, Bella" he said in a husky voice that sent shivers down my spine.

We made it to the pub; they were having karaoke so we found some seats near the stage. We ate and watched a number of people perform, well perform was one way of looking at it, needlessly murdering songs was another. I leaned over toward Edward and got next to his ear. "I could probably do better than most of these people, this is sad." At that he smiled and I saw Alice start jumping up and down out of her seat.

"Bella, we're going to sing! Don't worry; I will pick your song. I know the perfect song!" Alice shrieked, and with that she was off. I looked over to Edward, who was showing his crooked grin in all it's glory, and gave him a what-did-I-just-get-myself-into look.

I had almost forgotten what I got myself into about twenty minutes later when I heard my name being called by the guy on stage. "Well, here goes nothing." I said as I got up hesitantly. Edward reached out and squeezed my hand in reassurance. Jasper just smirked and Alice just sat there bouncing in her seat and smiling like she just won a gold medal.

I walked up to the stage and stood in front of the mic. Then I saw the lyrics for 'Tell Her About It' by Billy Joel pop up. Now I know why she said it was perfect. I should have known this was all just a part of her plan. I heard the music start and couldn't help being filled with adrenaline. I hope I make Alice proud. I know I had decided to let things play out, and let Edward decide when and if he was going to make his move, but damnit, I was getting tired of waiting. He knew I forgave him, and I hadn't shied away from his touch at all, and even tried to lay a subtle hint here and there. None of that seemed to work though. Well, here goes one last push in the right direction, if he doesn't take this one, then there really is no hope for us.

I took my stance and started swaying a bit to the music, quickly finding Edward's face in the crowd. I gave Alice a knowing smile and started singing.

_Listen boy, I don't want to see you_

_Let a good thing slip away_

_You know I don't like watching anybody_

_Make the same mistakes I made_

_She's a real nice girl and she's always there for you_

_But a nice girl won't tell you what you should do_

_Listen boy, I'm sure that you think_

_You got it all under control_

_You don't want somebody telling you_

_The way to stay in someone's soul_

_You're a big boy now and you'll never let her go_

_But that's just the kind of thing she ought to know_

I danced around a bit, getting into the music, but at the last few lines I caught Edward's eyes and sang right to him. I kept that connection with him through the chorus, still swaying and moving with the music.

_Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel_

_Give her every reason to except that you're for real_

_Tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams_

_Let her know you need her, let her know how much she means_

_Listen boy, it's not automatically a certain guarantee_

_To ensure yourself, you've got to provide_

_Communication constantly_

_When you love someone, you're always insecure_

_And there's only one good way to reassure_

_Tell her about it, let her know how much you care_

_When she can't be with you, tell her you wish you were there_

_Tell her about it, every day before you leave_

_Pay her some attention, give her something to believe_

_Cause now and then, she'll get to worrying_

_Just because you haven't spoken in so long_

_Though you may not have done anything_

_Will that be consolation when she's gone?_

_Listen boy, its good information_

_From a (girl) who's made mistakes_

_Just a word or two that she gets from you_

_Could be the difference that it makes_

_She's a trusting soul; she puts her trust in you_

_But a girl like that won't tell you what you should do_

I finished out the song making sure to catch his eye when I had a point to convey, but still keep the audiences interest. From the look both Edward and Alice were giving me, I think I got my point across. Even Jasper was giving a grin and glancing between Edward and me. I bowed for my crowd and jumped off the stage (miraculously staying upright) and walked right toward my group, never taking my eyes off of Edward. He looked a little stunned after my performance, but I could see the understanding in his face. I could still feel the confidence and adrenaline running through me and figured I should make the best of it.

As I got up to him, he wrapped his arms around me, picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck and twisted them into his hair. He put his hands under my butt to hold me up and keep my dress in place. He rested his forehead against mine, and said "Thank you," then moved just enough to let his lips crash into mine. We stayed like that for a few minutes and I vaguely heard people cheering in the background. I felt pressure push his shoulder by my arm, then he sat us down on his chair, still keeping me in his lap.

The rest of the night was a blur as Edward and I stayed in pretty much the same position just focusing on each other. It felt good to be in his arms again and kissing him. The past five years have been Hell without having him with me. I will do whatever I can to keep him, hopefully he feels the same.

Sometime later, our friends had brought us back to the real world and told us it was time to leave. We walked out still with our arms around each other, afraid to let go, as if one of us might disappear if we lost contact. Edward opened the passenger side door for me, and a moment later he was sitting in the driver seat, with the other two in the back. As soon as he had the car started and into drive I grabbed his hand. I wanted to keep hold of him to make up for all of our time apart. He laced his fingers with mine and brought our hands up to his lips to kiss the back of mine. He traced small patterns on the back of my hand with his thumb. I brought my free hand up and ran my fingers up and down his forearm, and leaned over to give him a quick kiss at any red light we hit.

We finally made it back home, not relinquishing our hold on each other except to get out of the car. We walked in the house with his arms still around me and goofy grins plastered on our faces. Esme must have realized what was going on, since before we could get ten steps into the house she ran over to us, letting out an Alice worthy squeal, and wrapped us both in a hug. "I'm so happy for you two, it's about time" she said, kissing both of us on the cheek, then letting us go.

We hung out in the living room for a while, watching a movie with the others. I'm still not sure what we watched. I kept myself pretty busy watching Edward and stealing kisses from time to time. By time the movie had ended it appeared everyone else had already gone to bed, since we were the only ones left in the living room. We got up and made our way to our rooms.

"You want to just sleep in my room? I'm not quite ready to let you out of my reach yet," Edward asked with a serious look on his face, and a small pout. How could I really say no to that?

"Why Mr. Cullen, are you trying to seduce me?" I asked jokingly. He shook his head no but tightened his grip on me. "Sure that's fine, I never found out what room I was supposed to stay in anyway."

I followed him back up to his room. I let him take a shower first so I would have an escape when he got out. Not that I didn't love looking at him freshly showered, but I didn't want to be tempted. He got out of the shower and came out in a pair of pajama bottoms. I saw the shirt that was supposed to go with them and took it and a pair of his boxers into the bathroom with me. I wasn't sure where my bag with my clothes was, so I figured I could just steal his.

I got out of the shower and dried my hair a little bit and put the clothes I stole on. I walked over and found him lying in bed on his back, with his arms behind his head and his eyes shut. I walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled over to him. As I got near him he opened his eyes and looked over at me. I could see the lust fill his eyes as he looked me over. I have to be good, cannot give in. I curled up into his side, stretching my arm over his stomach and leaning in to give him a kiss. He pulled me closer to deepen the kiss. After a few minutes we paused to catch our breath.

"Edward," I started, not really sure how to continue.

"What's wrong love," he asked, seeing the conflict on my face.

"Nothing really, I was just wondering if we could maybe take it slow this time. I don't want to risk everything going bad again by doing something now. I would like to spend some time just taking it easy, to make sure this will work first." I said quietly, looking down at my hand that was resting on his chest.

He reached a finger under my chin and lifted my face up to meet his. "We can take all the time you want. I'm not going anywhere, so whatever you want to do either way is fine, love. I don't ever want you to feel rushed, or like you have to do anything. I'm fine just staying like this for a while." With that he bent down and gave me the sweetest most pure kiss we have ever shared. I sighed in contentment and laid my head down on his chest.

He bent down and kissed the top of my head, and left his head resting there. He pulled the covers up over our shoulders. "Goodnight Bella, I love you." He whispered, then started humming the increasingly familiar tune.

"Goodnight Edward, I love you too." I said as my eyes shut and sleep took me.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It was amazing to wake up the next day in Edward's warm strong arms, especially since I no longer felt the need to run. I loved him and he told me last night that he felt the same. I woke up with his front against my back, one of his arms still with their hold around my waist, and the other resting under my neck and reaching down to meet the other. My arms were holding on to them, my fingers laced with his. I lay as still as I could so not to wake him. I wanted to just stay like that for as long as I could.

I felt him start to shift and tighten his hold on me even more, almost like he was making sure I was still there and wouldn't be able to leave him. He snuggled closer and kissed the back of my head, and took in a deep breath. "You're still here. I was afraid I was going to wake up and you would be gone," he said, sleep strong in his voice, as he held me even tighter.

"Of course I'm here. I would never want to be anywhere else." I told him, turning my head to kiss his arm. "So I guess congratulations are in order."

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking puzzled.

"We made it a night being within five feet of each other and didn't have sex and I didn't yell at you. I wasn't sure it was possible." I told him, letting out a little laugh.

"Oh well then, I guess this calls for a celebration," He said and I could hear the smile in his voice. He quickly went after my neck, kissing trails up and down it.

"Hey, calm down there killer. That doesn't mean we have to change that now." I said, before I lost my resolve.

"I know, but I didn't realize that our actions were limited to lip to lip make out sessions. Plus, it's kind of hard to keep control when you are lying in my bed and wearing my shirt." Then he went back to taking advantage of the exposed skin on my neck and collarbone.

We stayed that way for a while, then finally got up to get dressed, eat, and get to the airport. We said bye to his parents and boarded the plane. The ride home was much more comfortable now that I had my own personal pillow to cuddle with.

Rose and Emmett got home a few days ago so they were already at the apartment when we got there. Alice and Jasper walked in first and greeted our friends. Edward went in next, trailing me behind him with his hand laced in mine. We entered the apartment and instantly Rose and Emmett turned to look at us. Rose looked at him, then back over to me with excitement showing on her face. Emmett on the other hand looked at our joined hands, then at Edward. He was shooting daggers at him with his eyes.

"Emmett, chill, Edward is your friend, remember... " I said, trying to get him to calm down. I know he thought of me as a little sister, but I didn't think he would take on the whole protective big brother role. Especially since it was his best friend.

"I know, doesn't mean he's good enough for you though," he replied. How much better could I get than Edward? I don't think such a thing exists.

"Ouch dude, now tell me how you really feel." Edward replied back to him.

"Just give him time, he'll get used to it." Rose said matter of factly.

We decided shortly after to take a walk to the park nearby. It was late afternoon and after most of us spending the day on a plane, we could definitely benefit from the fresh air and movement.

We packed up a dinner for everyone and headed down the block to the neighborhood park. We all stuck together for a bit just catching up on what we did over the holidays. As we finished up our conversation we ended up near the playground.

"Yes, swings! Jasper, push me on the swing!" Alice squealed and ran toward them. We all followed and Rose and I claimed swings as well. The boys all stood behind us and pushed us. After a bit they started a competition on who could swing their partner the highest. It got a little scary but was still fun. Once I decided I had gone high enough I convinced Edward to stop the swing and I ran over to the slides. Emmett found the monkey bars and was going up and down those. He started swinging around on them and found himself upside down in no time. Edward, Rosalie and Jasper just looked on amused as the rest of us played around on the equipment.

About an hour later we decided to settle in to dinner. We all grabbed our sandwiches and soup and started chowing down. After dinner we decided to split into couples and spend some quality time with our loved ones. Emmett and Rose headed out to the lake, Alice and Jasper disappeared in the trees and Edward and I claimed a spot on the dock. We walked over hand in hand in silence and sat down on the edge with our feet hanging over the side. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close to his side, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"I've missed you so much" he said, with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"I've been around you almost constantly for the past few days. When did you get a chance to miss me?" I teased, smiling and letting out a little bit of laughter.

"The past five years" he said, still completely serious. "The whole time we were apart I could feel parts of me dying. I still can't believe we found each other again. I'm still surprised that you are willing to give me a second chance. You are truly amazing, Bella."

"I'm not amazing for giving you a second chance. There never really was an option not to. As much as I tried to hate you and be mad at you, I really just wanted to be in your arms. Voluntarily saying bye to you the morning I moved in with Rose and Alice was about the hardest thing I had ever done. As you can tell it didn't take long for me to go back on it either."

"Well I'm glad you gave in then. I never thought I would have another chance with you. It is the best present I could ever get. I'm still surprised I could have your love after everything I put you through." He said, his voice somber.

"Don't try to put all the blame on yourself. You really had no control over most of the occurrences that took place. The only things you had a hand in was the deed itself, and listening to my father afterward. I don't blame you for leaving. I'm sure you were scared and you couldn't have really made anything better by staying." I responded, not wanting him to fill himself with guilt.

"I should have stayed and defended you, and fought for you. Instead I just left you. I will never leave you again, I want you to know that. I am yours forever. I promise to always defend you, and fight for you. I will always keep you safe, and do everything in my power to keep you as happy as possible. I know I made you that promise before and failed you, but I was young and naive then. I've learned my lesson and know the pain of losing you. It is the worst torture I could imagine, knowing I could cause you that much pain. I will keep you safe, always. I love you Bella Swan." He said as his eyes stared straight into the depths of mine, like he was making the promise straight to my soul, making sure it went as deep as possible.

"I love you too Edward Cullen. I always have and it will always grow as time goes by. I believe that you will keep me safe and happy. I trust you Edward; I know that I will be completely perfect as long as I have you." I responded, hoping my words would sink into the depths of his soul, as his had mine. He leaned his head into mine and our lips met in the most perfect kiss ever shared between two people. I know we will still have some things to sort out and recover from, I don't expect it to be completely perfect just by the words we shared. I know we will have to work at it with each other, but I am more than looking forward to it. Our perfect moment was interrupted by shrieking coming from somewhere behind us.

"They're after me, HELP!" we turned to find where the noise was and saw Emmett running with a flock of geese running after him. To see such a big intimidating guy running from geese was probably the funniest scene I could have ever witnessed.

Edward got up after a minute of laughing hysterically along with me, he pulled me up and put me on his back and we headed over to the rest of the group. When we got to them we found Jasper running around with his camera taking probably hundreds of pictures of the event going on near us. Alice and Rosalie had taken cover under the pavilion we had eaten at.

"So, do I want to know what happened?" I asked, holding back enough laughter to be understood.

"He took some of the crackers from the basket and wanted to feed the geese. He put out some of the crackers but the geese didn't show any interest in them. He then decided he would get better results if he threw the crackers at them. Let's just say they didn't respond all to well to that. That is how we got to where we are now." Rosalie answered, trying to hide the smile that was trying to make its way to her face.

We watched for a few more minutes then finally Jasper went to his rescue by running at the birds and making loud noises and flapping his arms. Once they left Emmett alone, he collapsed onto the grass. He laid there for a few minutes, then finally came back over to us saying he wanted to leave. We went back to my apartment and relaxed for a little bit until the guys said they were going to leave.

"I guess I will see you tomorrow, do you work at all tomorrow?" Edward asked, pouting slightly.

"Yes I work, but I was thinking of coming over to see you after. If you're good I might even have a surprise for you." I said, raising an eyebrow to him.

"Well then, I'll be counting down the minutes till I get to see you." He said with the beginning of a smile on his face. We kissed each other goodbye and the boys left. I jumped in the shower and got in my pj's and hopped on the couch with Rose and Alice. We put in a movie and spent some girl time together, since we were all apart for awhile.

Em POV

I managed to catch up with Jasper while Edward was saying bye to Bella. I had something urgent to talk to him about. I grabbed his shoulder and pushed him down a hallway while we had a minute to talk.

"So, I have the perfect idea of a prank to pull on Edward, but I need your help." I told him, barely containing my excitement.

"You know I'm always in on playing jokes on my brother. You don't even have to ask, just let me know what you need me to do and when." he replied. It really worked to my benefit that my good friend happened to be the target's older brother, they are always ready to play tricks on them in any way they can. This is going to be great.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

EPOV

It was hard leaving Bella last night, but after a long goodbye Emmett finally grabbed my arm and pulled me away. I went home, showered and went straight to bed. I tried to convince myself the sooner I went to sleep the sooner I'd be able to see my angel. Now that I finally had her back in my life I hated letting her go, if only for a few hours. I found sleep not too long after lying down.

It was lonely waking up alone again. I've gotten used to sharing a bed with Bella that it just seemed cold and empty without her. I would have to find a way to fix this soon. I only had a few hours to kill until she got home. I was eager to see her, and a little curious about this surprise she said she had for me. I decided to go out for a little bit and take care of some errands I needed to run, while I had the chance.

I arrived back at my place with a little extra time before Bella would be coming over. When I got to the door to open it I saw a letter taped to the door with my name typed on the front of it. I opened it a little puzzled.

_Edward,_

_As part of the surprise I have planned for you, I need you to follow the steps I have set up for you. Please keep to them so that we can enjoy the outcome properly._

Hmmm, I wonder how she got things set up while she is supposed to be at work, this should be interesting.

I went inside to find candles and rose petals on the surfaces of counters, tables, shelves and just about any flat area. I saw another note on the dining room table as I walked by it.

_Edward, _

_In order to start things off right, I need you to take a shower and put on the clothes I put in the bathroom for you._

Okay, this is getting interesting, I thought only Alice was one to pick out other people's clothes. Well, I don't want to upset her surprise so I guess I will go to it.

I turned on the water and got undressed. I was trying to figure out what kind of things she had planned for us. I know she had mentioned before that she wanted to wait before we took our relationship to the next level. Was she ready to move on?

I heard movement in the living room and figured she was completing what she needed for the surprise. I finished up taking a shower and dried off. I found the clothes that were laid out on the counter. All that was there was a pair of red silk boxers that upon inspection I noticed had "Hot Stuff" written in white on the back of them. Interesting choice. It didn't seem very Bella, but I thought I would go along with it for her.

As I turned to leave I saw another note taped to the inside of the bathroom door.

_Edward,_

_Grab the chocolate covered strawberries from the kitchen and head to the bedroom. Lets see if we can't find a good use for them._

Wow, I am glad that this is almost over. I was really wanting my Bella now and couldn't wait to be with her again. I had been waiting so long to be with her again. This time we would be able to do things right. We won't have to rush or worry about regret after. This time we can go as slow as needed to fully appreciate each other.

I followed the path of candles and rose petals to the bedroom. I opened the door and walked in. The room was dark with just a few candles lighting it. I saw a figure on the bed, I could see her dark tresses covering my pillow. The figure was mostly covered by blanket, but I could still see some of the lace that adorned her.

"Bella, love" I said to get her to look my way as I walked over with the tray of strawberries. Just as I got closer the body in my bed sat up and I realized that it wasn't my Bella.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?" I yelled. Then I saw a flash of light and saw I face I now hated.

"Edward, what's going on?" I heard Bella ask from behind me as she walked into my room, her face full of confusion as she took in the scene in front of her. "And why is Emmett in your bed wearing a nightie and a wig?" She asked as laughter started to take her. I dropped the strawberries out of shock of the person in my bed mixed with the flash that just came from behind me and the voice I was expecting to be in bed standing behind me laughing.

"I'm not sure if I even want to know. Emmett, get the hell out of my bed!" I yelled as he got up and then I saw Jasper come out from behind the door with camera in hand. I picked up a couple of the chocolate strawberries and started chucking them at my former best friends, chasing them out of my room. If I hadn't been so angry I probably would have laughed at the sight of Emmett running by me in a pink babydoll, brown wig and tightie whities. It really was a funny, yet extremely disturbing sight.

"Wow, here I thought I would try to surprise you, but in the end you won out again." Bella said with another chuckle.

"Did you have anything to do with this?" I asked incredulously.

"No, I would completely claim it if I did, but this was purely them. I couldn't have thought that up. So what did I miss exactly?" She asked with an amused smile.

"When I got home I saw a note on the door about a surprise and I had to follow the steps to get it. I thought it was the surprise you mentioned last night. So I followed all the notes, and put on what it said, and got the snack and came in. Instead of finding you in here though, like I expected, it was _that!" _I almost spit out the word 'that' while pointing in the direction the guys took off in. It really was the last thing I wanted to see in my bed. I almost feel like I should buy a new mattress. I am definitely changing the sheets before I get on that thing though.

"My surprise is nothing like that, sorry. I just thought I would bring you some dinner. That was about all I had planned. I thought I told you I wanted to wait anyways. Why would you assume it was me setting up for that?" She asked, like it was the last thing she'd wanted.

I guess it makes sense though. I guess I was just getting my hopes up. I know she wants to wait, and I will respect and honor that. It's just a lot harder than expected. You can take that both ways it sounds. It doesn't help since we've done it before, so I know what it will be like. When I think of how it would be now though on top of just the feeling of her, now it will be able to capture our open love for each other, and we can fully enjoy all of it, it makes it almost impossible not to just take and ravage her right here.

"Is it so far fetched that I thought you might change your mind? I didn't realize it was that bad that you would be so against having sex with me again." I said, the irritation I was feeling taking over. It shouldn't be such a bad thought to want to be intimate with your boyfriend. I am generally a gentleman, but I've had a few too many hits to me tonight to keep it fully in check.

"Edward, you know that's not what I meant." she said, walking closer to me, then wrapping her arms around me and burying her head in my chest. "I do want to be with you, believe me. I just thought it would be better if we waited for a little bit before jumping into bed with each other again. I want to make sure we are okay first. I promise when I'm ready I will tell you, face to face. There will be no confusion, okay." she said, placing kisses on my neck and cheek.

"I know love, I'm sorry. I'm just a bit irritated still from dumb and dumber. It's fine. You know I'm okay with the decision to wait." I responded. I do understand her, and any wish she has I will grant. I can't believe I was letting my other head do the thinking. It is better we wait. I don't want to have any issues between us, and letting 'it' control the thinking causes lots of problems.

I changed the sheets and we finally relaxed on the bed and ate the dinner she brought for us. She took a shower and put on one of my shirts and came to bed. She really did look amazing in my clothes. I was glad she forgave me for my temper and is staying with me. I really do hate being without her. No matter the time limit. I think I should plan a day soon for just us. We haven't spent much time alone together since we declared our love for each other. I need to change that.

BPOV

I did kind of feel bad from holding out on Edward. I just want to make sure we do everything right this time. I think I will try to be more lenient on the boundaries with him. I will just have to make sure I stay strong enough to stop him as needed so we don't go too far. Yet. I'm starting to be more ready for that stage, I just want to be completely sure we are strong enough as a couple to let it not affect us in any way other than good.

Luckily, classes haven't started yet and I ddont have to work until late this afternoon. I figured I would make that uninterrupted time (Emmett would be gone all day) with Edward worth it for him. I trust he says it when he states that he is okay with waiting, but I think we could both use some release. We are both acting a bit more frustrated and irritable as time goes on. It's Emmett's job to be the irritable grizzly, not Edward's.

We slept completely entwined with each other after we had watched a movie. I curled into Edward's chest as his hands wrapped completely around me, and his head was resting on mine. I woke up before him and just laid there, listening to his heart beat and his breathe coming and going. He really was an amazing creature. I find it truly remarkable that this magnificent specimen of man could really want me. I still have a hard time believing it, and am convinced he will realize I'm not what he wants anymore at some point. When I feel that he could possibly love me the way I love him is when I will give myself to him. Until that day though, I think we could handle a little fun.

I waited a little bit to let him sleep a bit more. When I decided it was a suitable time for him to wake up I took matters into my own hands. I started kissing his chest and worked my way up his collarbone, neck, ear and finally toward his cheek and then back down again. I let my hand trail down his shoulder, along his arm and then slowly down his side, going toward his hip. He started to shift a bit then, and let out a small moan. I smiled while kissing along his collarbone, nipping a bit at the skin there. As I saw his eyes start to flutter a little bit I nipped his ear lobe and ran a finger down his length. That seemed to do the work of waking him up the rest of the way.

I brought my hand up and twisted it into his hair and locked my lips onto his. I quickly deepened the kiss as I gained entry into his mouth. I explored every inch of his mouth while letting one hand twist in his hair and using the other to run up and down his chest. With each pass I made I let my hand drop lower and lower, closer to his arousal. He moaned again as I grazed the tip and bit his lip at the same time. His hands started wandering. One made it to the small of my back and pulled me closer to him. I could feel every inch of him against my hip. His other hand made it up my shirt to play with my mounds. He tweaked and kneaded, making me moan into our kiss.

I finally let my hand cover him and started stroking to a rhythm set by his movements. He let himself go with it for a moment then pulled back from our kiss.

"Bella, what are you doing? I thought you wanted to wait love." He asked, afraid to take advantage of me. He was always sweet as a gentleman, but he needs to learn to just go with the flow sometimes. Of course the way he used to just 'go with the flow' is the reason I have to hold back. He didn't seem to be able to stop before.

"It's okay, we can still have a little fun, no worries, just enjoy it." I said with what I hoped was a sexy voice, and then went back to work on him. He seemed to accept it after that and continued back with his movements. He started moaning a bit more as I picked up my pace. He was kissing at my neck and biting along my earlobes. He ran a hand down my back and grabbed onto my butt and pulled me close to him as he was about to finish. I stopped my movements on him and moved away. He had such a sad look on his face as I did this. I could see the disappointment in his eyes.

"You didn't think I would really just leave you like that, did you?" I asked with a smile on my face. I turned in the bed and took him in my mouth. I started picking up the pace as his moans increased. He wrapped a hand in my hair and took a little bit of control over the speed I was moving at. We moved together for a few minutes, me pausing to swirl my tongue around his tip or run it along his length every so often. I really hoped I was doing this right. Anything I knew I had learned from the stories I read on a fan site. Some of them get really graphic. He finally moaned my name as he finished. I made sure there was nothing left as to not make a mess. Hmm, I guess they know what their talking about.

"That was amazing" he said, panting into his pillow.

"Well I couldn't have you making a mess all over the fresh sheets, now could I?" I asked him, my smile matching his. I lay back down next to him and gave him another kiss. We made out and cuddled a bit longer before we decided to get up and dress for the day.

He made us breakfast as I prepared a table on the balcony. It was a perfect day outside and I wanted us to be able to enjoy some of it together.

He brought our plates outside and we sat and ate for a bit.

"So how was your breakfast?" He asked when we were done eating.

"It was great. Oh, you meant the food, that was good too." I responded, raising an eyebrow suggestively at him, trying my hardest not to blush while attempting to be forward.

He couldn't respond. He looked at me a little shocked at first, by my response. Then he just got a big goofy grin on his face and stayed like that for awhile.

"Don't worry, I will get you back soon. I can't get all that and not return the favor." He said after his regaining control of himself, his smoldering eyes staring into my chocolate ones.

"I look forward to it," I said, trying to throw him off guard again. It didn't seem to work though. He gave me his crooked smile and got up from his seat. He came toward me and leaned down and let his lips crash into mine in a deep rough kiss. It was ecstasy kissing him. It made me dizzy, but euphoric and made the rest of the world fade away. Which is the only way he managed to get away with what he did.

"Maybe you won't have to wait long," he said, picking me up from the chair I was in and bringing me to the lounge chair in the corner of the balcony. He laid me down and laid mostly on top of me. He continued to kiss me passionately while letting his hands roam. One went into my hair, and I let mine mimic it into his hair. His other hand found its way into my shirt and continued its task from earlier caressing and kneading my mounds. He lowered himself a little bit and let his talented mouth take over where his hand was. I started moaning as he continued. He slowly ran his hand down my stomach, pausing at my pants button and undoing it. He unzipped them and slid his hand into them and down my underwear. He found his way easily to my core and started rubbing into me.

My moans picked up considerably as he entered his fingers into me, using his thumb to play with my bundle of nerves. He continued with his ministrations while biting and teasing my peaks. As I started getting louder and closer to an end he slowly pulled his fingers out of me. I immediately felt a loss having him out of me. He showed me his crooked grin and slid down my body. He took my pants off as he placed himself between my legs. He again replaced his hands with his mouth as he let his tongue play with my mound of nerves. He flicked and played with it for awhile then brought his fingers back into me.

The combination of the two was pure heaven. The only thing that was better than that was him himself in me. He picked up speed and got a bit rougher with me until finally I fell over the edge, yelling his name.

He brought his body back up to match mine and kissed my neck.

"I don't think my neighbors will ever question who lives here now, they could probably hear you say my name a couple blocks away." He chuckled into my ear. My face immediately flushed red as I realized we were still on the balcony. He pulled my pants back up for me and placed me to lay on top of him. We just stayed intertwined with each other as long as we could, only moving sometime later to eat again and so I could go to work.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

EPOV

I have been enjoying my time with Bella quite a bit lately. When we were younger we dated for a little while. I thought things were great then, and in a way they were better than things are now, however this time around will always win out. This time I have a much bigger appreciation for this wonderful person in my life. I understand how it feels to lose her and I know I will never be able to survive that again. I barely survived it the first time. Luckily, I had the support of my parents. They did anything possible to keep me happy and preoccupied. They also made sure I knew they believed I would find her again.

They understood she was my other half. She completed the person I am supposed to be and gave me reason to be it. Even at that age she kept me on my toes and gave me reason to be better. She has always been smart, talented and witty. I made sure I worked and did what I could to be able to compete with her in that. I couldn't let her outshine me. If I had, she would have gone to someone else who could keep up with her. I couldn't have that. She was also the only one that could keep up with my love of music and was even the one who found a lot of my favorite bands. If it weren't for her I would have missed out on some amazing music.

I know now that I have messed up severely with our relationship in the past and have given her every reason to hate me. The look of pain in her face when we first saw each other, and every time we saw each other for the week after that, was too much for me. To know that I was the reason for her personality change, and the hurt, rejection and pain she had felt for the past five years was enough to make me wish I could suffer the worst torture in the world. Although to me, seeing her like that was the worst torture I could ever experience. It makes all of the medieval torture devices look like a kiddie playground.

For some reason, she found it in her to forgive me, and even to love me again. I know I have to, _want_ to make it up to her. I will spend my whole life doing just that if she will let me. I will start on New Year's.

Our group decided we would party together as the ball drops, then after that we will split into our respective couples and treat our ladies to a perfect way to welcome the new year. For me, I plan on taking Bella somewhere amazing and telling her exactly how I feel about her. I don't want her ever to doubt my feelings or intentions. I want to make our relationship as perfect and as strong as possible.

BPOV

Alice woke me up bright and early the day before New Year's Eve. She claimed we had to get whole new outfits for our dates with the boys on New Year's Eve. I didn't complain too much about it this time though, as I wanted to make sure I looked as good as possible for Edward. It would be our first New Year's as a couple and I wanted to make sure I was something worth him keeping around. I was still a bit afraid he would just up and leave at any point. I know it was just me overreacting and worrying too much, but it was hard to convince myself otherwise.

We finally got done shopping about seven hours and 200 dresses later. I was so sore and rubbed raw from all the different fabrics, and the carrying of all of the dresses. In the end though we did find the perfect dresses. Alice thought we should each get two dresses for the night, seeing as it was a two-part evening, and we also had to find the appropriate types of undergarments to accentuate what our counterparts would get to see after our dates were over. I was just glad when that day ended. I had never enjoyed my bed as much as I did then. Although, the next morning didn't start out much better.

"Bella, get up!" My favorite, but annoying pixie screamed as she was jumping on the end of my bed. Still mostly asleep I noticed my leg come up and try to kick her off the bed. I really am not a morning person and I thought she would have figured that out by now. She should also know very well by now that I have no control over my reactions if I am rudely awaken.

I heard a thud and sat up quickly to see what happened. I looked to the end of my bed and saw Alice looking very aggravated sitting on the floor by my bed.

"You could have just told me to stop. You didn't have to kick me off the bed. If I have bruises on my ass tonight because of you I will throw out every article of clothing you have and replace it with Alice approved clothes. Jasper will not find it attractive to see my butt in that outfit, and have bruises all up and down it," she said with a very angry gleam in her eyes.

I almost laughed at her and the situation. Most people wouldn't find it a threat to have someone give you a whole new wardrobe. Me on the other hand, I don't like having people spend money on me, and most of the 'clothes' she approves of look more like they were made for Barbie than for an actual person. She hasn't learned that even though she may be close to barbie size, doesn't mean everyone else is.

"Alice, I am sorry, but you should know better. And I promise if Jasper is looking at your ass later, he will not be paying attention to any bruises you may or may not have, of course unless he gave them to you." I told her, still trying to hold back my laugh.

We got up and dressed shortly after and they dragged me off to the spa. They said we should get pampered and waxed before our date so we could look our best. I was new to all of this since the last boy I really dated was Edward many years ago. When your fifteen most of this stuff doesn't really matter. It's just about you and your date not what you had waxed or where you bought your clothes. I would really like to think this is the last round of dating I will ever have to do. I'd like to think that Edward is my one and only and that he is the last person I will ever date. I couldn't picture myself with anyone else, and don't want to.

After the trauma of the wax jobs and weird wraps we finally went back to our apartment to dress for our evening. Alice sat me down in the bathroom and got to work on my make-up while Rose helped with my hair. They finally finished and handed me my clothes so I could get dressed.

I put on my outfit and walked back into the room with the girls and headed over to the floor length mirror Alice had in there. They decided to be nice to me with my outfit tonight. Apparently Edward had told them his plans for our date so they dressed me in an outfit that could be quickly changed into one appropriate for phase 2 of the evening. For the first part of the evening they had me in a navy blue silk long sleeve top with a v-neck and an empire waist. The bottom flowed out from the empire waist and had beaded designs that sparkled in the light. I also had a denim mini skirt on and a pair of knee high boots. They did my hair with the top half twisted and pulled back with the rest of it curled and cascading down my back. My make-up was mostly natural with a smoky eye. They packed me a pair of jeans I could put on after the club so I would be a bit warmer for our date.

Alice had on a light pink cocktail dress and. Rose had on a beautiful red dress. We all grabbed our coats and bags with our changes of clothing and gathered in the living room just as we heard the knock on the door.

Rose went to open it as Alice and I made sure we had everything. We heard the boys enter and turned to look at them. They all looked amazing but my eyes only focused on Edward. He had on a dark blue button up shirt that was the same color as mine, and a pair of black slacks. His hair was as always a perfect mess. It looked a little damp from the snow and still had a few snowflakes in it from outside. I couldn't move or say anything at first. I just stood there and looked at him in awe. I looked back to his face and saw my favorite crooked smile there.

He walked over to me and gave me a kiss on my cheek and told me how beautiful I looked. He helped me into my jacket and grabbed the bag Alice packed for me and we followed the boys out of the apartment. We walked down to our cars. We decided to go ahead and take the three now so we didn't have to come back just to separate later.

Rose and Emmett took her BMW M3, Jasper and Alice took her Porsche 911 turbo, and Edward brought me over to his special occasion car.

"So I see you ended up getting your Vanquish." I said to Edward as we walked over to it.

"Wow, I'm surprised you know what it is. Not many girls would know what it was." He replied with his grin prominent on his face.

"Well, if I hadn't been shown numerous pictures and articles about it when I was younger then I probably wouldn't have known." I said as he opened my door for me and helped me into the car.

"I don't know who would do something like that to you. Why would someone bombard you with pictures of cars?" He asked, feigning innocence, when he got into the driver's side.

When we were younger Edward would always go on and on about his dream cars. He had always been in love with the Aston Martin Vanquish and wanted his Silver Volvo S60 R. He claimed everyone should have a special occasion car and an everyday driver. Of course with the standing of his family he had both.

"Hmmm, maybe just some car obsessed kid with nothing better to do..." I laughed to him, I always bugged him about his love of cars. Of course it got me acquainted with some of them, I don't know much still but I can at least show an appreciation for them.

"Yeah well." He said, showing me his crooked smile again. "They got me the S60 Type R for my 16th birthday as my everyday driver. They figured it was a good choice since Volvo's are very safe cars. Then I got the Vanquish when I got accepted into Dartmouth. It's of course just a special occasion car. They don't want me just driving it around everywhere yet."

The Cullen's have always been well off, which is how they could afford to get the vehicles they like. I still don't have a vehicle of my own. My mother, being a teacher didn't really have the funds to afford cars for both of us. I spent my high school years studying as much as possible to get in to Dartmouth. I never really thought it would happen but I wanted to make sure I at least had the grades if they did accept my application. I never had time to work or really a need to since I had other priorities.

We followed the other cars and finally got to the club. We all parked and walked up to the doors. There was a long line, but thanks to the good looks of the others we were able to walk right in. We found a table and got a round of drinks. We kept in a good conversation for awhile until they started playing some better dancing songs. The girls grabbed their dates to go to the floor, dragging me and Edward behind them. Edward wanted to dance, but I wasn't too sure of my skills on the dance floor. I am more of a professional car dancer, not so much when actually standing up moving my whole body.

We found our way to the middle of the dance floor and partnered up. Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me to him with my back against his front. He started swaying and moving to the music, so I bent a little and put my butt up against him and started following his movements. He brought his hands to my hips and pulled me closer to him and started helping me move to his rhythm a bit better.

We got a couple songs in and were getting a bit too in to it. I could definitely feel his enjoyment against my back. He turned me around to face him, and just as I got close to him his lips came crashing down into mine. He bit at my lip to gain access. I let his tongue into my mouth as we continued. Things started getting a bit more heated and his hands were wandering my body. I twisted my hands into his hair to get good control of his head. He let a hand wander down my back and rest just above my butt as I started kissing on his neck. We continued like that for a little bit, changing up on kissing each others necks, collarbones and mouths, until we heard someone clear their throat near us.

"You guys might want to relax a little bit, take a breather. It's almost midnight, when you get to your date you can do whatever you please but I don't think you want to do it here." Alice said, standing with Jasper. Emmett and Rose were right behind them. We agreed to make sure we were all next to each other as the new year started. We wanted to spend that time together, it only seemed right to be with our new family at this celebration.

We saw the TV's turn on and people started counting down the minute till midnight. We all gathered together with our drinks and counted along with them. As the last few seconds hit we turned inward to face our group and raised our glasses. We got to the end of the minute, said a cheers, clanked our glasses, took our drinks and turned to kiss our other halves. Edward leaned down to me and brought a hand up to my cheek and looked deep into my eyes.

"I love you, Isabella Marie Swan." He said, then leaned down and let his lips meet mine. They moved together sweetly for a moment, then he pulled back.

"I love you too, Edward Anthony Cullen, always." I replied back to him, hoping I could convey all the pure love and care I felt for him, through my eyes. The way he smiled back at me, and the twinkle in his eye let me know he at least had a clue.

We then turned back to celebrate with the rest of our group. We all hugged and laughed together, just enjoying the time together.

We stayed a little longer and got in a couple more dances. We finally said our goodbyes for the night and went our separate ways. Edward led me back out to the car and opened my door for me. I just looked at him and went to the back seat with a smile on my face.

"Bella?" he asked incredulously.

"What? I still have to get changed. So you need to go up to your seat and keep your eyes on the road." I said, still smiling at him.

He shut the front passenger door, opened the back one and then got in his seat and started driving. I went into my bag and grabbed my pants out of them. I took my boots off and glanced up to the rear view mirror. I could see Edward's eyes glance back at me every few seconds. "Hey, I said to keep your eyes forward up their buddy." I told him, shaking my head.

I took my skirt off and pulled my shirt down a little to hide the lacy boyshorts I had on under it. I decided to mess with him a little bit. I took my skirt and dropped it over his shoulder, bringing my face next to his ear. I let my lips graze his ear while I spoke. "Would you mind holding on to this for me?" I asked, then let my teeth run along his earlobe and sat back down. I looked back to the rear view mirror and could see his eyes darken with lust, even in the minimal light we had.

I put my pants on and almost gracefully climbed into the front seat. I leaned over the seat to grab my boots out of the back. I knew better to put them on first. Edward wouldn't appreciate me ruining his seats with my shoes.

"So where are we headed?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't usually tell me, but hoping my distraction would work to my advantage.

"Uh uh. You would have to do a lot more than throw an article of clothing my way if you want to get that information from me." He replied, his smiling growing wider.

"I guess I will have to remember that for later, although, I think with the right article of clothing I could get a response from you." I said, hopefully seductively.

We drove the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, with our hands connected. Finally he got to an empty parking lot, turned off the car and came over to my side. He opened my door and offered me his hand to help me out of the car. He closed the door behind me and helped me into my coat. He offered me his arm, which I took and led me down a dimly lit path. It was beautiful walking down the path with the moon making the snow glow all around us.

We walked for a few minutes and finally came to a dock. I looked out and saw a river cruise boat sitting at the end of it. It was illuminated with white Christmas lights and candles. I could see it had a dining table set with linens and candles. Edward walked us over to it and gave the deckhand my hand as he stood behind me to help me into the boat.

After my safe entrance onto the boat, and his own, he brought me over to the table and pulled my chair out for me. I sat down and he took his place across from me. The table was set beautifully, covered in small pieces of snowflake confetti that sparkled in the light, and helped to pull of the enchanted look. There were even heaters placed around the boat so we wouldn't be too cold. A waiter brought us out champagne and a collection of finger foods.

We started off down the river and everything around us was absolutely gorgeous. We were surrounded by trees on either side of us and the snow had covered the ground. The slivers of moonlight that were showing through lit up the snow and seemed to light up the trees as well. The water sparkled as we created small currents in it.

After we finished our food Edward helped me up and brought me to the front of the boat. We found a bench up there with a blanket on it. Edward sat down first, grabbing the blanket. I sat down and cuddled into his side and he wrapped us up. I wrapped my arms around his waist and threw my legs over his as he put one arm around my back, and one on my legs, keeping me close to him. I snuggled my head into his neck and watched the scenery pass by and enjoyed the time spent with him.

I saw things getting brighter as we kept traveling down the river. We hit the edge of the woods and the river opened up into a lake. The flat water reflected the moon beautifully. Everything looked amazing, it was perfect.

He pulled me closer to him which landed me on his lap. He looked down at me with eyes that were full of love. He seemed a little distracted, like he had something on his mind, but I decided to let him bring it up when he was ready. I didn't want to bug him about it and ruin our beautiful night.

We sat in silence for a few more moments, just taking in our surroundings. I felt him dip his head a little and he kissed the top of my head. "Bella," he said quietly, a little hesitant. "You know that I love you, right?" He asked, still a little hesitant.

I wasn't sure if I should be worried or not. He just seemed so held back, I couldn't really tell the direction this was heading.

"Of course I know you love me, and hopefully you know that I love you too." I said, hoping he would continue quickly.

"I'm really sorry about the past, how I reacted, and everything I did wrong. I know it's the past, and that I can't change it, but I want you to know that I realize I was wrong and I won't let anything hurt you like that ever again. I will be here for you as long as you will let me." He said, his eyes staring right into my soul.

"I know, and you already apologized. I told you I forgave you." I replied. I felt bad he was still beating himself up about this. Not that I could really say anything since I still did the same thing. As much as I love Edward and I know he loves me, it is still hard to just let go of what happened in the past. It would be hard to know without a doubt that he won't just leave me one day. I understand the situation more now, and that he was just a kid then, but still, the damage is done.

"I know you did, but I know that doesn't fix everything. I want to be able to make it up to you. I want to be able to earn your full trust again. I saw the pain and hurt in your eyes when we first saw each other, and still see it every so often. I want to make that go away. It kills me to know that I did that to you. I hate myself for ever doing that to you."

"I know everything will get back to normal in time. I'm mostly just enjoying being with you for now. Everything will work out as it should." I tried reassuring him. I didn't need him to know of my worries. I really didn't want him to be upset anymore. I'm sure it will all work out one way or another. Hopefully it will work out to our benefit. I guess as long as Edward is happy though, I won't let it hurt too much, and if it does I won't tell him.

"Just as a fair warning, I know you're not a huge fan of surprises, however, seeing as I had five years to think of ways to make everything up to you, you'll have to endure with a lot of trips and spoiling. Hopefully you won't mind too much." He said, kissing the top of my head, and giving me a smug smile.

"I don't know, you know I'm not a fan of being spoiled. Although, I am a huge fan of making you happy. So maybe we can come to a compromise." I told him, smiling back, as I snuggled more into his chest. "Plus, as long as I'm with you, I'm happy. You don't have to plan, or come up with a plethora of date ideas and trips to go on. I'm just as happy curling up in bed with you talking or watching a movie." I told him, he really needs to learn that he doesn't have to go out of the way to spend time with me.

We stayed like that for a little while longer, just cuddling into each other, enjoying the serene lake. After a bit of time, he lifted me off of him and led me back over to the table. As we sat down, a waiter came back out and served us dessert. We had Creme Brulee and fruit, it was delicious. We took turns feeding each other, and picked back up into an easy conversation.

The music got a little louder as we finished our dessert, and Edward stood and walked over to me, offering me his hand. "May I have the pleasure of this dance?"

I was a little hesitant, I noticed the boat had started moving back toward the river to head back to the dock. Add that to my constant clumsiness, and my general lack of dancing ability, it just screamed accident.

"Um...Edward, I really don't think that is the best idea, for either of us. Tonight has been so perfect, I really don't want to end it with one of us heading to the ER." I stated, laughing a little nervously.

"It's all in the leading, my love. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise." With that, he took my hand and brought me to the open floor so we had space to move. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I put mine around his neck, lacing them through his hair. He pulled me close to him, resting his head on mine, and started swaying us to the music. We moved fluidly to the music, mostly thanks to his leading. When the next song started, he picked up the pace a little bit, and changed his arm positions. He grabbed one of my hands with one of his, and kept the other around my waist. He started turning us about, moving around the floor. He spun me a few times, slowly to make sure I didn't lose my balance. Amazingly, we moved about rather gracefully. I felt like I had been doing this for a long time. I really was impressed by his skill, until I remembered something from the past.

"So, I guess all the ballroom dance classes helped out, huh?" I asked, teasingly.

"Hey, you promised me you would never bring that up. I had no choice in the matter. My parents wanted us to be well rounded." He defended.

"Uh huh, keep telling yourself that. Did they force you to keep going back, is that why you're still so skilled. I figured you would be rusty by now."

"Well, I opted to stay fluent in it, after all, my parents put a lot of money into those lessons, plus, I found the ladies really like a guy who can dance." He said, a smile starting to play on his lips.

"So, seeing as I don't usually dance, or care to, who are these girls that you are trying to impress?" I asked, mostly to tease him, but also out of curiosity.

"Um, well, it's not like that. I didn't know I would find you. I always hoped to see you again, but I did date through the years. Didn't you?"

"Actually no, I hadn't dated at all since you. I couldn't see anyone that way. Plus with how everything ended, then my mom's new outlook on guys, I really didn't care to get involved with anyone. I was still hurt." I stated. I guess I couldn't have expected him to stay single the whole time, that would be unrealistic, especially with how amazing a person like Edward was. Although I did kind of hope he would wait for me. I just never managed to get back to normal enough after him to want to be with anyone else. I wanted to date around, and forget Edward, I just couldn't actually bring myself to do it.

"Does it bother you, that I had other relationships? None of them meant nearly as much to me as you did, and still do. I could never replace our relationship, I just tried to stay occupied I guess. I'm sorry." I could see the regret cross his face as he said that to me. I didn't mean to make him feel bad about dating.

"It's fine, I understand that you wanted to date other people. I didn't expect you to stay single forever. We never knew we would end up back together. I will admit I'm not overly thrilled to think of you with other girls, and I'm going to try and stay oblivious to anything you may have done with these people." I said, trying to keep a smile on my face. I really didn't want to think that other girls had got to be with Edward the way I had, the way I always wanted to be with him. I wanted to be able to have a great relationship with Edward, both emotionally and physically. Our previous physical interactions have been marred by interruptions, guilt and even though they were overall wonderful during, I wanted that closeness again. I wanted it to be a comfortable thing between us, to be able to wake up next to him, and stay next to him, happy. I wanted to carry that goofy grin on my face for days after being with him. I didn't want to have pain infiltrate any thoughts of past experiences. It hurt to think other girls would have those memories with him, but that I don't. It didn't seem fair. I got all the pain and awkwardness and guilt from it, and they just got the fun, happy and carefree Edward. The one I felt I helped to create.

When I met Edward, he was a quiet pre-teen. He didn't really talk to anyone. He mostly kept to himself and ignored everyone else. When I moved to Forks, I was pretty much the same way. However when I saw Edward I felt the need to talk to him. I tried to fight it off, thinking he would never want to talk to me. Eventually my heart won out though. We had a science class together, and I noticed he didn't have a partner for the lab we were doing. I grabbed a paper out of my notebook and wrote on it asking him if he wanted to be my partner. I couldn't gather the guts to talk to him, afraid my voice and cheeks would betray me. So I handed him the note and walked to the furthest lab setup. I watched as he opened it. I saw him start to read it, and saw as he kept getting asked by all the other girls in class as well. When he finally was able to finish the note, he looked around the class. He met my eyes, gave a small nod and headed my way.

After that class we were inseparable. With the time we spent together we found out we had a lot in common, and as we opened up to each other our friendship and our confidence grew. We were able to make each other laugh and made each other feel accepted, even if it was just by the other person. By time we got to high school our self-esteem had grown so much and we had actually made other friends and were being asked out regularly. We really had an amazing influence over each other. The longer we would spend apart, like when his family would go away on vacations, we could notice a decline in our personalities. It was almost like we needed each other to be completely happy. I guess when we split though, he didn't need me to be the full him. I guess his other girlfriends were able to take that role while I was gone.

"Bella, are you still on this planet, or should I send out a search party?" He asked, snapping me out of my little thought world.

"Sorry, just got carried away in my thoughts. I was thinking about the beginning of our friendship. How much we changed from being around each other."

"Ah, we did seem to have an effect on each other didn't we?" He asked.

"Yeah, you could say that."

We felt the boat stop and he let go of me to help gather our belongings. After the boat was completely docked, and we were tied in, he grabbed our stuff and exited, turning around to offer his help to me. I gladly took a hand and followed him off the boat and back to the car. He threw our stuff in the back and opened my door for me. He closed it after I got in and went over to his side and sat down. I grabbed his hand after we started on our way.

"Thank you so much for an absolutely perfect night Edward. Everything was beautiful." I said, and brought his hand up to my lips and put a small kiss on the back of it.

"I'm glad you let me treat you tonight. We will have many more like that, I promise. We have the rest of our lives to spend together experiencing nights just like that."

Wait, did he just say 'rest of our lives'? _Would he really want me forever?_

It was always something I wanted and hoped for. I used to think he would want that too. However once he walked away from me so long ago I assumed I had been wrong. Could he really want this now. I didn't want to start doubting Edward's and my relationship, or his intentions with me. I'm kind of staying in my ignorance is bliss stage. I want to be able to enjoy this time and this new relationship with him. I tried to avoid speaking of anything long term. I knew long term relationships don't work. There is a reason the divorce rate is so high. I really couldn't live through that sort of break up with Edward. I am scared enough of all the ways this time could end. I would hate to imagine how much worse it would be if we were married. Oh god, it would be horrible if we had kids. No, I would never be able to live through that. I need to keep this a very low key relationship. It's bad enough we already let ourselves experience love with each other again. I can't let myself get any more involved than that.

I didn't really know how to respond, so I just kept my eyes focused on my hand sitting in my lap. I felt the car stop and finally looked up, realizing we were at my apartment. "Did I say something wrong Bella, I didn't mean to if I did." He asked, turning his body to face me better.

"No, I'm fine, sorry. I guess I will see you tomorrow after work. Thank you again." I said, still keeping my head down. I moved to open the door, and felt Edward's hand grab my wrist.

"Bella, if something is on your mind, please tell me. I can't handle it if you try to shut me out. I want to know what I did, so I can make it better. Please, love." He said, I could see the pain in his eyes as he tried to figure out what was wrong with me. He put a finger under my chin and lifted it so that we were eye to eye. I caught his for a second, then looked to the side. I was almost positive my eyes were filled with pain and didn't want him to see it. I didn't want to explain all my fears today. I just need to convince myself he just let it slip, that he didn't really mean anything by it. He probably didn't even notice what he had said.

"Really Edward, I am fine. I'll be fine." I just about whispered the last sentence. I leaned over and gave him a small kiss then exited the car before he could get out to open for me. I looked back to him and waved then went inside. I was afraid my emotions would get the best of me if I stayed with him in that car any longer. I opened the door to the apartment and saw my friends sitting on the couch watching a movie and eating ice cream. I wasn't usually the typical girl type to eat my emotions, but tonight it just felt right. I waved at them, went to my room to put on my sweats, then went back out to the couch and snuggled in between them and grabbed a spoon off the coffee table and dug into the tub of ice cream. Alice gave me a once over and I guess got the information she needed. She gave me a small sad smile and pulled me into her more. We just stayed that way through the rest of the movie and another one. By the end of the second movie I felt calm enough to go to bed in hopes of finding sleep.

I got up to head to bed and looked back at my friends. I gave them a smile and let them know I would talk to them in the morning, that I just wanted to rest now. They nodded in agreement and I went back into my room. I turned on my stereo to some music I knew would help calm me. I laid down in bed and tried to will myself to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

EPOV

I was ecstatic that the night was going perfect. Bella was having a great time, and I finally got to talk to her a little bit about the things that have been floating around in my head. We got to spend some nice alone time together and the scenery was better than I could have hoped. I was impressed and slightly shocked that Bella actually danced with me, and she never faltered. I knew she could do it. It couldn't have been more perfect.

Then on the way home, something changed. Either something I said, or did made Bella clam up. All I remember saying then was about being able to go on dates for the rest of our lives. I didn't know if she didn't want me to spend the money on her, or surprise her, or if she had an issue about being with me for the long-term. I hoped it wasn't that. I had already lost Bella before, I never wanted to go through that again. I've always known that we were supposed to be together, I thought she had known that too. Maybe she didn't want that anymore. Did I really do that much damage to her to make her think I wouldn't want that anymore. I knew she said her mom tended to male bash. I wonder how much of an effect that had on her. I really need to know the extent of what happened after I left so I know how to fix it. I need to fix it. The amount of pain she holds in her eyes is way too much for any one person to hold, especially my Bella. As far as I know Emmett is Bella's oldest friend, next to me. Hopefully he will know what all happened to make her feel this way.

I got home a few minutes later and was happy to find Emmett there by himself. I walked in and put my stuff in my room then went back out to sit next to Emmett.

"Hey Em, how's it going?" I asked, trying to will my way into the conversation I was apprehensive about.

"Pretty good. I was going to hang out with Rose after our date, but she said the girls had planned to spend the rest of the night at home. She called a few minutes ago and said Bella got home, so she was turning her phone off so they wouldn't have any interruptions during their girls night. Something about movies and ice cream, I don't know." He replied back, shaking his head a little.

"Oh, did they say if Bella was okay?" I hoped that she was, but didn't know if Rosalie would say anything to him or not.

"Why wouldn't she be? Did the date go bad? Did something happen to her?" I could tell he was starting to get into his panicked protective mode. "What happened, did something go bad on the date? Is she hurt? Did you hurt her? You know you're my best friend but if you did anything to hurt her I will have to kill you, I hope you understand that." He said all in one breathe. I know he thinks of himself as her older brother, but I've never seen him act this way. I wasn't sure teddy bear Emmett had it in him.

"I didn't hurt her, I would never purposely hurt her Emmett, I hope you would know that. The date went great, but on the way home she got really quiet and withdrawn. The only thing I could think of was that I was talking about us being able to go on dates like that for the rest of our lives. Then she just shut down. After we got to her place I tried to apologize and ask her about it, but she just pushed it off and tried to ignore it. I pulled her face up so our eyes could meet and all I could see on her face and in her eyes was pain. I don't know if it was from what happened between us in the past or if it was something else. Em, I want to know what happened with her. I know you guys have been friends for a long time, did she ever tell you anything about what happened between us, or anything about the last several years? If she did I really need to know, I need to know how to fix it." I told him, almost pleading by the end. I really hope he could shine some light on this for me.

"Hmmm, I feel kind of bad revealing her past without her permission, but I guess it'll help her in the long run. Alright, so I guess I will start from as early on as I know. Well, she told me about how when she was young she was really quiet, shy and more of the wallflower type. Then she said after she moved to Forks, she wanted to change, but wasn't sure how. She mentioned a boy who was also withheld, never talked to anyone and she seemed to feel some sort of pull toward him. She asked him to be a lab partner or something and he agreed. Then she said they became friends, and ended up building confidence between them. She said that the more they were together the better she felt. With his help and friendship she was able to build up more self-esteem and what not.

"They became best friends and eventually started dating. I guess everything was going well, she said she had fallen in love with him, that she thought he was the one. They ended up having sex at her house and her dad came home and caught them. Apparently he didn't take it too well, not that I blame the guy. Come home to find your fifteen year old daughter having sex, I'm surprised he left the guy alive. So then the guy freaked and ran out, leaving her alone to deal with her dad in the middle of a yelling match. Her dad called her mom to deal with her, he said he couldn't even stand to look at her anymore." He hung his head and shook it a little, it looked like he was having a hard time just telling the story, probably remembering how she looked when she told it.

"Her mom came home screaming, saying all sorts of stuff to her. She pretty much called Bella a slut and untrustworthy, she said that the boy never loved her and was just looking for a lay. Renee yelled at Charlie and said he was incompetent father and couldn't keep his family together. She told Bella to pack and dragged her from the house. Bella said that she looked back at her dad as they walked out the door and he just stood there. It had to be hard having two guys that you love leave you in the same night. Neither of them stood up for her or fought to keep her.

"Her mom put their stuff in the car and drove them away from Forks. She said that she tried to call the boy almost constantly but never got an answer. She told me she felt pretty abandoned. They set up a life in Phoenix, and she went to school like she was supposed to. She said she felt like an empty shell, just like that her whole world shattered. She went through her daily routine, just trying to get through the day to appease Renee. Of course her mom never made it any easier. Her mom wasn't really a good mother type, so Bella had to do most of the taking care of in the house. She cooked, cleaned, made sure the bills were paid. She also had to fill out the paperwork for the divorce, saying that Renee wouldn't do it as she didn't want the reminder of ever being with her dad." He stopped again for a minute to take a breathe and get a drink, not a good sign, it seemed he thought we would still be here awhile, either that or it's going to get worse.

Either way, not good. I can't believe what she had to go through just because of our actions from that one night. My life only changed really in the fact that I had lost her after that night, and that I too had to deal with the heartbreak. My general life still stayed pretty much the same though.

He came back to the living room and sat down in a recliner. Once he was settled he started back up again.

"So finally the divorce was complete and legal, she was starting to get into the swing of her new high school and even tried to make a friend. After a while of hanging out with her friend she was invited to a party that some of the other kids were throwing. Her mom pushed her to go, saying that she needed to get out and have some fun, that she needed to try and forget about the guy back home and that he had already long forgotten about her. Her mom constantly told her that guys aren't worth it, they only want sex and to bring you down. She said they only bring pain and never really cared for those who they are with, it was all a ploy.

"So Bella went to the party with her friend, they hung out with some of the other kids and what not. They had alcohol at the party and some of the kids, including her friend, got smashed. Bella wanted to leave, but knew her friend was too drunk to drive, and that was how she got there. She decided to walk home since it was only a couple blocks away. She didn't really give me details, and I could tell she was struggling with the little bit she told me, but from what she said, one of the kids from the party followed her and caught up with her about halfway home. He grabbed her arm and turned her around. All she said after that was he tried to get her to do stuff with him, she tried to fight but wasn't much of a match. He managed to rip most of her clothes but she didn't say how far he got. She made it home afterward and her mom saw her as she walked in the door. Her mom started yelling at her, saying she was stupid for letting this happen again. Apparently her mom thought she willingly had sex with someone again, and wouldn't hear her out to find out the truth.

"After that she just said she finished school and worked really hard to get the scholarship so she could afford college and just wanted to get far away from Phoenix. She came here, broken down pretty much. She was such a mess when I first saw her. It took a long time for me to convince her I didn't want anything from her, just a friendship. Eventually she and I became friends and she opened up to me. She told me a lot that I was like the big brother she never had, which always made me smile, since as soon as I saw her I felt like that. She always seemed like a little sister to me. I immediately, even before she let me be her friend, I became her protector. I always made sure she was safe, I never want to see her go through anything to cause her that kind of pain. I wasn't there to help her in the past, but I promised myself and her I wouldn't let anything happen now that I am around."

He finished the story and the apartment just went silent. I didn't even know what to say to him, or her. How do I fix all that. I wasn't even sure where to began. I never thought she went through so much. She never should have had to deal with any of that. I was enraged at her mother and at whoever the boy from the party was. I knew her mother could be loopy, but I didn't expect her to turn into that. She pretty much ruined her daughter. I know I started all of the trauma, and sent everything into a tailspin, I would never be able to forgive myself for that. The fact that her mother took our situation though, and twisted it to use it as a weapon to convince Bella she was worthless is even more unforgivable. How could you do that to someone you love? Didn't she realize what she was doing to her?

"I can't believe I did that to her" It escaped my mouth, just above a whisper before I could think.

"Dude, you okay? What did you say?" Emmett asked, looking puzzled.

"I did that to her, Emmett, the boyfriend she had that sent her life in a horrible downward spiral, it was me." I told him, still speaking quietly.

"Really, she would never tell me who it was, so I didn't know. I'm sorry dude. So, I have to ask, why did you run away that night?" He asked, I was almost afraid big brother Emmett would be angry with me, but at least he is giving me the chance to explain myself.

I gave him the rundown of my side of the event. I tried to explain how scary it was facing the chief, while laying naked on top of his daughter with her yelling your name, and vice versa. I told him of what Charlie was yelling, and how I froze. I told him I ran out at her dad's command and as soon as I got out of the door I regretted leaving, but didn't think I should just run back in. I mentioned how I dealt with being without her at first and that I was heartbroken too, and about the phone mix-up. He seemed to understand for the most part why I reacted the way I did. He even said that most of what she went through wasn't because of me. I fail to understand that though. If it wasn't for me losing that control her dad never would have yelled at us, her mom wouldn't have had to come home. Her parents would still be together, and she never would have ended up in Phoenix. That would eliminate the encounter with the boy from the party, and we would have been able to work things out and stayed together. She would still be the happy, confident, amazing Bella I once knew her to be. She still is amazing, but now she is broken and has been beaten down and who knows what else.

I went to bed shortly after and laid there for a while letting all the information I had just heard sink in more. I needed to find a way to make Bella believe she is worthy only of the best. She deserves so much, I just hope I can be the one to help her to see that. I'm also trying to keep the fear away that I am no good for Bella. After hearing everything that happened, I can't help but think that she would be better off without me. I could never change that though. I couldn't leave her, after experiencing it once I could never bear it again. It also wouldn't help her out any, just to have another guy leave. I am so lucky that Bella forgave me and gave me another chance, I will never give her reason to regret it.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

BPOV

I woke up the next morning after a restless sleep. When I opened my eyes I saw Alice once again sitting on the side of my bed looking at me with a sad smile. It reminded me of my first morning waking up here. As I was sitting up Rose walked into our room and climbed onto the bed settling on the other side of me. Alice looked over at Rose, then back at me, and just said "Spill."

"What, no 'good morning Bella', 'how did you sleep Bella', 'would you like something to drink'?" I asked sarcastically.

"Nope, I know you don't feel it is a good morning, I saw you tossing and turning and saying frantic things like 'what about the kids' and 'please don't leave me again' and you usually don't drink anything as soon as you get up, so as I said before, spill." Alice said, still with a sad smile, but now with a look of confusion.

I told them all about the date, and how perfect everything was and about how Edward apologized, again, about the whole ordeal. When I got to what he said in the car, I made sure to explain the feelings I had afterward and any backstory necessary for them to completely understand my reaction. I didn't want to tell them anymore than I had to, they already knew about Edward and my past, so I filled them in on my years with Renee and her monologues of why boys are bad. They seemed to understand enough, they nodded when appropriate, to let me know they were still listening and wanted me to continue. When I was done they just sat for a moment taking in everything I said. Then Alice, as always, broke the silence.

"Well, I understand where you are coming from, I do, but Bella not all relationships are the same. Yeah, it's shitty he left the first time but I know you understand why. Your parents sounded like the whole divorce thing had been coming for awhile. No one goes on that many retreats just for fun, she was definitely running away from life. Also, we know it's sad that people split, but not everybody does. A lot of couples still make it through, just as in love as they were on their wedding day, if not more so. I get that it was painful seeing your parents fight and split up, but that doesn't mean you will end up the same. Just look at Edward's parents, Carlisle and Esme love each other more everyday. You and Edward could totally end up like them, I know you will. You two have been bonded together since you first met. You can't deny that, that's the pull of a soul mate. You two were meant for each other as I was meant for Jasper, and Rose for Emmett. You two are and have always been exactly what the other needs to be able to be themselves. It's fate honey, you can't deny fate." Alice said in her all knowing way.

What she said did kind of make sense though. I know not all couples end in divorce, but how can I know we will be lucky. With the statistics the way they are, not all three of us can have the perfect relationship, that's too many happy couples, someone will end up divorcing. After seeing these two with their other halves lets me know that it would be me in the failing marriage. I wish I could believe them, but really, there is no way around the inevitable.

I got up after that, and showered and readied myself for work. I got into the bookstore and did my job for as long as I was supposed to, for once not being thrilled to be there. When my shift was finally over I clocked out and headed out the door. As I stepped outside I saw Edward waiting for me, leaning perfectly on the fender of the Volvo, resting his arm on the open passenger door. Why did he always have to look so good. I immediately brightened up at seeing him and picked up my speed to get to him quicker. On the last step to him, my shoe caught a crack in the sidewalk and I ended up flinging myself at him. He caught me, as always, and brought me up and into a kiss. We stayed that way for a couple minutes, his arms holding onto my waist and mine wrapped in his perfect mess of hair.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as we parted for some much needed air. I was surprised to see him, I wasn't sure how he would respond to me after me practically shunning him last night, but he seemed pleased to see me.

I know I told myself I didn't want to get any more attached, and I wanted to space myself from him a bit, so as not to get hurt as bad when he left again, but just seeing him looking at me that way took all of my resolve and let it fly out of the window.

"I hope you don't mind, I just couldn't stand being away from you any longer. I wanted to just spend some time together with you, if it's okay." He said, looking more shy at that moment than I have ever seen him. He almost looked like a little boy asking to play house with a girl.

"Of course it's okay, I would love nothing more," I said, leaning up to give him a small kiss. How could I ever resist this man? He looked up with so much light and sparkle in his eyes, it was amazing that such a simple act from me could get that reaction from him. I tried to hold back a laugh as I stepped into the car. He got in on his side after shutting my door and we were on our way.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, almost positive he wouldn't tell me.

"Hmm, you'll see." He responded, holding true to the Edward way. I was going to continue talking, but then the next track of his CD came on and the opening music was absolutely beautiful, so I stayed quiet to listen to the lyrics and voice that would accompany that type of music. As soon as the lyrics started, Edward started singing along with a look on his face like it was coming straight from his heart.

_I should never think_

_What's in your heart_

_What's in our home_

_It's all I want_

_You'll learn to hate me_

_But still you call me baby_

_Oh Love_

_So call me by my name_

_And save your soul_

_save your soul_

_Before you're too far gone_

_Before nothing can be done_

_I'll try to decide where_

_She'll lie in the end_

_I ain't got no fight in me_

_In this whole damn world_

_Tell you to hold off_

_You choose to hold on_

_It's the one thing that I've known_

_Once I put my coat on_

_I'm coming out of this all wrong_

_She's standing outside holding me_

_Saying oh please_

_I'm in love_

_I'm in love_

_Girl save your soul_

_Go on save your soul_

_Before it's too far gone_

_And before nothing can be done_

_'Cause without me_

_You got it all_

_So hold on_

_Without me you got it all_

_So hold on_

_Without me you got it all_

_Without me you got it all_

_So hold on_

_Without me you got it all_

_So hold on_

_Without me you got it all_

_So hold on_

"That was beautiful, Edward." I said, almost spilling tears down my face. The emotion he held really made it look like he was baring his soul to me. His voice complimented the singer's perfectly, to create the most amazing harmony I had ever heard. Just the lyrics alone almost brought tears to me. It made me feel like Edward was singing just to me, and for me.

"Thanks, not that I can take any credit. That's a song I listened to a lot while we were apart. It seems even more true now though." He said, I wasn't exactly sure why it stood for us yet, but I would accept it with how much he put into it.

"Why is it true now?" I asked shifting in my seat to face him, taking his right hand into both of mine and placing them in my lap.

"I feel so unworthy of you, yet here you are with me. I caused so much damage to you, and to your life, and yet you still love me and somehow forgave me for what I did. I don't know how you can still love me after everything you've been through. I'm amazed you can let anyone in, no one has given you any reason to in the past. How can you still stand to be around them, around me?"

"Edward, I have always loved you, and always will. You know I don't blame you for leaving, hell, if I could have, I would have. Oh, wait, we did, sorry. I know I've had a rough past, but that's exactly where it is, the past. It's the start of the new year and I really just want to make this year the best of my life. I started this year better than any other I've had. I have an amazing boyfriend that I love, and that loves me, I have two wonderful best friends, and room mates who truly care about me and are there for me, and I have a better big brother than I could've ever asked for. I finally have a family Edward, all of you now make up my family, one I can be proud of and love. One that I know will love me and support me and protect me. Having all this come together at once is so much more than I could have ever thought would happen. I feel so lucky to have all of you with me. How can I continue to be downtrodden when I have all of this?"

I never even realized half of that when I said it, but as I kept talking I realized it all, and how great things really are turning out. If things keep up this way, I think I'll actually be able to make it. Alice was right, there is hope, maybe it is finally my time to have the life I wanted. I will do what I can to keep it going this direction, to appreciate every moment I have like this.

We finally came to a stop and Edward got out of the car. He came over to open my door and helped me out of the car and led me over to an extraordinary view. We were standing on the edge of a beautiful gardens area. There were benches, flowers, trees and just beauty everywhere. I could see a large pond and carriage trails throughout. He led me to a gazebo by the water and set down a picnic basket he had grabbed from the car. We pulled out the food and a thermos of hot chocolate. We sat and ate while watching the sun set over the lake. Yet again, Edward had managed to pull off the most perfect night. At least tonight though, he made it simple, and cheap, always a plus.

We eventually left, after the sun set and the moon rose. It started to get rather cold and I wasn't exactly prepared for nighttime outside in January.

"Edward, do you mind if I stay with you tonight?" I asked, I really wasn't ready to leave his side yet. I longed to have his warm perfect god like body pressed against mine while I dozed off to a perfect night's sleep that only happened when I was in his arms.

"Of course I don't mind, I would love to have you stay with me. Do you work tomorrow?"

"Nope, I'm off, so maybe we can just spend the day in bed, I could really use that right now I think. I just really want to spend as much time as I can wrapped in your arms."

"How can I refuse that, I would like nothing more than to spend all day in bed with you." He said, his voice full of happiness and awe. He looked like he just won the lottery with the amount of light and sparkle in his eyes, and the perfect crooked grin that stretched across his face. Seeing him this happy, how could I not love him. He was the most glorious person I have ever seen. I felt extremely lucky we had the ties we did in our adolescent years, otherwise I would have no chance of capturing this man now.

We got back to his place and cuddled in to watch a movie before we went to bed. We curled into each other on the couch, I got as close to him as physically possible, while being separated by clothes. He had let me pick out the movie, so I picked 'The Nightmare Before Christmas', an all time favorite of mine. We watched together as Jack discovered Christmastown and tried to make his own. I was still upset to see him shot out of the sky, but of course was happy again when he talked to Sandy Claws and even more so when him and Sally finally come together at the end. I could feel Edward laughing as I sang along with all the songs and was completely enthralled by the movie.

"I really want my own Zero," I turned and said to him at the end. Zero is Jack Skellington's ghost dog that has a jack o lantern nose and always flies along where ever Jack goes.

"I know, but hopefully you can settle for just having me, and you can watch the movie whenever you need your Zero fix." He said with a small chuckle.

"Aw hell, who needs Zero when I got you." I replied, then turned on his lap till I was facing him and my legs were wrapped around his waist. I gave him a kiss which quickly deepened. After a few minutes of polite, sweet kissing, I could feel my need for him building. I hastily bit his bottom lip, probably a little too hard, to seek admittance into his mouth. He obliged and I started exploring all the areas of his mouth, as he did the same to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and grabbed a good hold of his hair, going between running my fingers through it, and pulling on the perfect mess.

He responded by wrapping his arms around me, he placed his hands on my butt and pulled me in closer to his immaculate body. I could feel the heat between us building. I tightened the hold my legs had on him, creating a delicious friction between us. At my movement I heard a small moan escape his lips as we broke our kiss for some much needed air. He didn't pause long and went to work on my neck, kissing trails down my neck and along my collarbone. He kept a firm grip on my behind with one hand, keeping me held close to him, and the other traveled up the back of my shirt.

Every so often, if he got a little too quiet for my liking, I would shift a bit and put pressure on his still growing arousal. I got an adrenaline rush knowing that I could evoke those sounds from this god sitting in front of me. He, of course had no trouble getting reactions from me. His hand continued moving up the back of my shirt, playing with the skin and running his fingers up and down my spine. Again, he had no trouble getting a noise to come from my throat. I vaguely felt his hand go over the clasp of my bra, and as his hand ran down my back I noticed my bra suddenly felt a bit loose.

"What did you do? You know I can't stand having my bra hanging loose." I asked him, trying to feign annoyance.

"Oh, gee, I'm sorry, I guess we will just have to get you out of your top so we can fix that, oh darn..." He replied, trying to look as innocent as he could manage, but his mischievous grin was playing at the corners of his mouth.

Before I could think to respond, he had placed both of his hands under my backside and lifted me up. He brought us into his room and placed me on the side of his bed. He knelt down before me and gave me another kiss while letting his hands find the hem of my shirt. He slowly started working my shirt up my body, careful to separate it from my bra. We broke our kiss so he could remove my top, then he promptly moved his lips to my shoulder. He trailed his fingers up my arms to the tops of my shoulders and hooked them around my bra straps. He slowly pulled them down, his lips following the same trail his hands were taking. He kissed down my arm, paying extra attention to the inside of my elbow, and my wrist. He then brought his lips back up to the newly exposed area. His lips grazed my mounds and brushed over my nipples. I let out another moan and grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer to me. He stayed there for a little while, lavishing both of my breasts with plenty of attention, before coming back up to kiss my lips again.

He pushed me back farther onto the bed, never breaking our kiss. He laid down, half over me and let his free hand wander around my stomach and chest,then running up and down my throat, while the other held him up.

I put one arm under his waist so both of my hands had access to his back. I started playing with the bottom of his shirt and tugging a bit to give him the hint I wanted it off of him. He complied and lifted up so I could remove the offending cloth. He laid back down, and I was still stunned by how amazing it felt to have his skin come in complete contact with mine. He then let his hand find the waistband of my jeans and undid them, slowly pulling them off of me. After he had them off, he started caressing and kissing up from my ankles, up my calves, around my knee then to my inner thigh. Just as he reached the bottom of my navy blue lace boyshorts, he grazed across the apex of my thighs with his lips, then grabbed my panties and and started pulling them down. As with my bra straps, his lips followed the same path his hand did down my leg as he removed my underwear.

He finally brought himself halfway back up, lingering over my hip bones. He placed light kisses on one hip, then trailed across my stomach to the other one. He brought a hand up and started lightly playing with my core. As he continued to graze across it, my hips started bucking towards him looking for my release. I continued to moan out his name and could tell by the look on his face that his resolve was fading. He finally entered a finger into me, starting out slowly and brought his mouth down to lavish attention to my bundle of nerves. I continued to move my hips against him, begging him for more. He picked up a little more speed and added another finger. I could feel him bitting and nipping at my core and was close to finishing.

"Edward, please... I'm so close" I managed to get out while panting. He bit down a little more then added a third finger and added more force. It was almost right after that that I screamed out his name as my climax took me. He stayed there while I finished riding out my orgasm, then came back up to lay next to me.

Before he could cuddle up to me, I sat up on my knees, turning to face toward him. I pushed him back down toward the bed and started kissing all over his exposed chest, letting my hands run rampant over it. Finally I brought a hand down to the waistline of his pants, and let a finger slip below it. I ran my hand back and forth a few times, each time going lower. I played with the skin and hairline, and grazed past his tip a few times. I then, extremely slowly undid his pants. I grabbed the waist of his pants and boxers and lowered them centimeter by centimeter. The look of anticipation on his face was priceless to say the least.

I got them past his hips, and lifted them a little to release the very aroused muscle they were hiding. As soon as it was exposed, I bent down and took the tip of it in my mouth. I heard a moan come from Edward, and had to fight back the small laugh trying to escape. I swirled my tongue around his head, and as I pulled back created a little suction with my mouth. I continued to sit up till it was out of my mouth, and traced down the side or it with my tongue.

Once I hit the base, I continued pulling his pants down till they were joining my clothes on the floor. He looked so let down at that moment, that I couldn't help but smile at him. I crawled back up to him, hopefully seductively and stopped when I got halfway up him. I took his head back into my mouth, letting as much of him as I could fit into it. I moved my head up and down to my own rhythm, his hips quickly catching on to it. I continued to swirl my tongue around him and sucking as I went along. As he was getting close, I felt a hand come to the back of my head, put through some of my hair and start guiding me along to make me go faster. I could hear him getting louder and sped up my pace to meet his demand.

"I'm almost there... faster... Bella" he said between breaths. I gave an hmmm in response, and with the vibrations of it, he finished. He kept his hand on the back of my head while I slowed my movements during his climax.

When he had ended his climax I curled back up into his side, burying my face in the crook of his neck. I did it as I wanted to be close to him, to enjoy the feeling of our tired bodies recovering together, letting them be together at this time as well. I also did it to hide the look of guilt that was very possibly on my face right now. I didn't regret the acts we had just taken part in, but I knew he would want to continue, and go into the next level, and I wasn't quite ready to give that part of myself to him again yet. I was just starting to get to that part of our relationship that I could enjoy us again, we were mostly completely happy together, granted we still had an issue or two to work out. I didn't want to risk going all the way with him and having something else happen between us.

I knew overall he wouldn't be upset with me for declining it, but I'm sure it will cause a little pain, as I'm sure he will take it as me saying I don't trust him enough yet.

He leaned his face over to mine and gave me a sweet, love filled kiss. "I won't ask for anything more tonight, I know how you feel and I don't want to go any further than your comfortable with. So you don't have to hide your face from me, even with it hiding in my neck I could feel your body tense like you expected me to pounce on you. I will wait as long as you want to do that again. Just the fact that I have you here is enough for me."

And with that, he turned his body towards me more, to where he was laying on his side, his arms wrapped around me and after giving me another kiss he rested his head on top of mine.

"Sleep, my sweet Bella." He said as he grabbed the blanket and brought it up to cover us, then started humming a tune in my ear as I drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

BPOV

"God, I am so exhausted..." I said as I collapsed onto the couch of my apartment, throwing my legs over Alice's and resting my head on Rose's lap.

"What, has he got you breaking in the bed that hard or something?" Alice asked, trying to hide a smile, but failing.

"No, actually, we haven't been doing much of anything in the bedroom lately. I'm always too tired by the end of the day. That's why I came home tonight, so I could sleep in tomorrow without waking up to another date idea he has." I said to them, watching as they both got puzzled looks on their faces.

"What do you mean? You don't like dating Edward anymore?" Rose asked, completely confused.

"Of course I still love dating Edward, I love being with him. But since he got on this kick of trying to take me out on dates constantly to show how much he loves me, or whatever his reasoning is, I haven't had any down time to relax, or just be with him. He always has these crazy plans of amazing dates and experiences to enjoy. I love them all, I really do, but we've had enough dates in this past month to last a lifetime. I never thought there was that many things to do in New Hampshire. He could seriously work for their travel committee. I don't even know if they even realize there are that many things to do here."

"Wow, you got to give the boy an 'A' for effort though. It sounds like he is really going out of his way to impress you." Alice said.

"I know, and I feel a little guilty that I'm not enjoying it as much as I should, but at this point I would be impressed if we just stayed in for the night. I just want to spend some quality alone time with him. We've gone sledding, ice skating, gone to every zoo in the state, along with all the museums, any exhibits they have, we've been on plenty of boats and have had a picnic on any green spot in a 75 mile radius. If I'm not working or at school, he is dragging me to any part of the state we can get to in the allotted time. It's insane."

"Maybe, I don't know, just going out on a limb here, but you should talk to him, let him know to chill out on the dating overkill for awhile." Rose said, always stating the obvious.

"I've tried, but he won't have any of that. He keeps saying that he wants to express his love for me and this is how he knows how to do it. I know he's known me for along time, and I would think that if he stopped for five seconds to think, he would realize that this isn't me, then he would stop with all of this, but he doesn't seem to have an off switch anymore."

"Well, maybe if you suggest being in charge of a date night. You know he won't deny you that. He would probably enjoy you taking over the reigns for one night. Then you can just relax and do whatever you want to for the night, instead of running and hiding from him. I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like the basis of a strong relationship, if you have to hide from your boyfriend and his psycho dating ways." Alice suggested.

"You know, I think you are on to something. Do you think maybe I could have the apartment tomorrow night. I think I will cook dinner and just have a night in with him. Try and reconnect with him a bit. I thought when we got back together we would have nice conversations about everything we've missed from our past, and be able to just enjoy each others company. Instead we have been out doing so much, there hasn't been much time to talk. I'm actually getting behind on my school work due to this crazy mission of his."

"We are more than happy to vacate tomorrow so you can talk to him. Luckily we both have amazing boyfriends with their own places, well, once Edward leaves, and I'm sure they won't complain too much about us staying the night with them." Rose replied.

"Alright, thanks guys. I am going to go to bed now, and enjoy being able to sleep in tomorrow. So don't either of you, Alice, try to wake me up tomorrow. Otherwise this apartment will only have two occupants instead of three." I told them, then went into my room and got ready for bed.

As I laid down, I took my phone from my nightstand and sent Edward a text before I fell asleep.

_E- Don't make any plans for us tomorrow, I am taking charge of our date. Come to my apartment after your last class. Love you. -Bella_

There, hopefully he will be fine with that. I placed my phone back on the nightstand and fell into a deep slumber before he was able to respond.

I woke up the next day well rested, and for once on my own terms. No crazy pixie staring at me, trying to get me to hang out, or some eager boyfriend trying to drag me somewhere. I didn't have to work, and my normal Friday class was canceled. So I get to relax and hang around the house until Edward gets out of his class.

I killed most of the time by cleaning up the apartment, and starting any prep I needed to do for dinner tonight. After I checked to see that we had the ingredients needed for dinner, the apartment was cleaned, and laundry was done, I still had a few hours to kill until he would be out of class.

I decided to relax in the bath for awhile. I started the water and got it hot enough, added some of my lavender bubble bath, to help me relax and turned on some music. I stripped and lowered myself into the tub. I felt my muscles immediately start to relax and started going over plans for tonight in my head. I needed to let him know that I love everything he has done for me, but that we needed to slow the pace a bit. I want to just be able to spend time talking to him, and enjoying his company, without always having to go do something. Tonight was going to be about showing him that we can be just as happy doing normal activities together. If he really wants to be with me, he needs to understand I don't need all of that, I just need me and him.

I felt the chill start to take over the water, so I quickly washed myself and my hair, then wrapped up in a fluffy towel and headed to my room to get ready for tonight.

I went to my closet to gather clothes and settled for something comfortable but still nice. I found a broken in pair of pants, and blue camisole and a white 3/4 sleeve over shirt. I brushed out my hair and left it down to fall into its natural loose wave down my back. I put on a small amount of eyeshadow and some lip gloss. I didn't bother with shoes since we would just be lounging around the house tonight. I really hope he won't be upset with my idea for the night. He always plans these extravagant outings, and mine are just common everyday things. Hopefully I will get my point through to him though. In the end that is the ultimate goal.

After I was ready, I went back into the kitchen, put on an apron and started getting dinner ready. I went with a classic. I made some angel hair pasta, with sun dried tomato Alfredo sauce and shrimp. Comfort, casual food, with still an elegant feel. I put the bread in the oven and was mixing together the salad when I heard the knock on the door.

I went over to get it, and saw my personal god standing outside, holding a bottle of sparkling cider. Of course we were both of legal age to drink, but he knew I was never a fan of wine, or champagne. I let him in and he walked straight to me, telling me how beautiful I looked before he pulled me into a hug and a quick kiss.

"Well, I hope you don't mind, I just planned a night in for us tonight. I know it isn't as great as the many dates you've planned, but I thought it would be fun." I told him as he settled at the bar that faced into the kitchen.

"That sounds great, as long as I'm with you I don't care where we are." He said, giving me his crooked smile.

"That's what I was hoping you would say, that's kind of the basis of tonight. Just being together." I told him, as I took the bread out of the oven.

He took it upon himself to set the table, as I put the salad into bowls. I got the French dressing out for myself, while making sure I put the Ranch out for him. I brought the bowls over to the table and set them down. He came over and pulled out a chair for me. After I sat down he went to get the glasses for the cider and poured it for us.

We sat and ate our salad in a comfortable silence. After it was done, I dished out the pasta and bread and placed it on the table. We went through it rather quickly, making a little bit of small talk as we ate.

After dinner was done, he cleared the dishes and I made my way over to the couch. He came over and sat down by me, and I curled into his side. After a few moments, he broke the silence.

"Dinner was amazing, thank you for cooking. So, what else have you planned for the night?" He asked, I just really hope he won't be disappointed.

"Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the food. For the rest of the night, I just figured we could chat, maybe watch a movie later. Something along those lines. I have video games and such as well, we could play if you would like." I offered. " I mainly just want to focus on us tonight. As much as I love all the things we have been doing lately, I don't feel like we have had much time to reconnect, or just talk to each other. I just want to be able to enjoy your company in a quiet, relaxed environment tonight."

"That sounds great Bella. Sorry we haven't had a chance to really talk lately. I had so much time to think of all the places I wanted to share with you, that I guess I may have gotten a little carried away. Just when we used to talk about going to Dartmouth when we were younger, I started looking into things we could do together. Then we got separated and I started looking even more. I kept telling myself I would find you, and I wanted to let you know that I never stopped planning what we would do when we got here." He explained.

"That's sweet, I know you used to look for things we could do when we were younger, I never knew you kept it up after though. Hopefully you plan to be around me for awhile though, so we really don't have to rush to do all of these things. We have time to experience it all, without going overboard. You know I'm more of a stay at home type of person, so just staying in a couple nights would be just as wonderful as going out to me. I just want to be with you, that's all I need." I told him.

"Yeah, I guess we do have time. I just got carried away that now I actually have that chance to show it all to you. I was always afraid I wouldn't be able to. I was afraid we wouldn't run into each other again. I didn't even know if you would still come to Dartmouth after we were separated. Why did you still choose to come here? Any specific reason?" He asked, a small smile on his face, but mostly just a curious expression on his face.

"Well, I know we had talked a lot about colleges when we were starting high school, and we both decided on Dartmouth. You said it had a great medical program, and told me about the English program for me. You always said it would be good for me and my writing and publishing. After we were taken away from each other, no matter how much I was mad at you, or thought you wouldn't want me, I still did what I could to get into here. I wanted at least the slim chance to run into you again. I wasn't sure if you would still come here, but it was my best chance of seeing you again." I answered honestly, hoping it wouldn't sound to weird.

"That was pretty much my reason too. I got accepted to other places, and my family tried getting me to go to Johns Hopkins but I wouldn't go anywhere else, in hopes that you would be here. It's the only place we both agreed on, so I just kept hoping that you would stick to it." He responded.

"You shouldn't have given up your other options just for me. I'm impressed you got accepted by some other good schools. I never really tried anywhere else. I never thought I would get in here. But I kept working hard, and applied for the scholarship, and somehow they accepted me. I figured if I didn't get in here, I would go to a community college somewhere on the east coast. I couldn't stand being in Phoenix anymore, and didn't ever want to move back to Forks. I thought this coast would be a better start for me."

After that discussion, we went on to talk about lighter topics. Mostly little things that have been going on and how our classes were going. It was wonderful just being able to relax on the couch with him and talk about anything. Just enjoying the time. We played a few video games, mostly Mario Kart Double Dash, and some Mario Party, you know, the classics. We eventually fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie. I wouldn't tell him this, but I think it was one of my favorite dates.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

BPOV

I don't know why I ever thought it would cause any issues telling Edward how I felt about the constant going out. After I finally did talk to him though everything got so much better. I guess I should remember that tidbit for later on. The rest of the weekend went perfect. We hung out between his and my apartment, whichever was quieter. We actually got some homework done, and were able to spend a lot of time catching up and just spending our time together. We had our game night on Saturday, and the six of us were all ecstatic to hang out again. Sunday night I agreed to go out to dinner with Edward, we agreed on a compromise, between going out and staying in on our dates. We figured we could break it up, depending on the night, between going out on dates and staying at our places.

After spending such a wonderful weekend with my gorgeous man I was sad to see Sunday night come around, knowing that I would have to go to class the next day. Luckily I still had a little bit of time to enjoy with my Edward, and try to stay oblivious to the week ahead. I cuddled up into his side on the bed and we watched some television. I had recorded some of my favorite shows from the week so we settled down to watch them. We got through most of Chuck before he started kissing on my neck. It didn't take long before I was facing him, both of us still laying on our sides. We started kissing, it was the most sensual, romantic kiss I have ever experienced. We spent the rest of the night just kissing on each other and him whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

It still amazed me that we were together, and that he loved me as much as he does. I couldn't picture my life turning out any better. I could stay like this forever and be happy. I'm becoming a lot more sure of our relationship, I couldn't picture ever being with anyone else, or anyone treating me the way he does. I just feel bad that I got one of the rare gentlemen out there, taking it away from someone else. Oh well, their loss, my gain.

I woke up the next morning to Edward's lips grazing up along my ear. I must admit, it was a nice way to wake up. I let him continue for a moment before turning over, and pushing him onto his back. I laid over him partially, allowing me to still be on the bed, but cover part of his body as well. I gave him a chaste kiss, and then moved along to his jawbone. We continued on with our ventures, and progressed onto a bit of foreplay. I leaned up to say something, then heard a knock on the door.

"Bella, you are going to be late for class if you don't leave in ten minutes." I heard Rose say from the other side of the door.

Edward dropped his head back onto the pillow, and I dropped mine as well. "Do I have to go to class," I whined to him. "I have a few other ideas that sound so much better than class does." I told him, my voice getting a bit husky with my last sentence.

"I bet you do, and as much as I would love to see what you were thinking, you really should go to class. We don't need you falling behind and risking your scholarship." He replied. I don't know how he is always able to keep a focused mind. I bet if I had the chance to tell him what I was going to, before the interruption, he would have at least lost a little bit of it. Oh yeah, he would definitely be caught off guard if I had had the chance to continue. Who wouldn't be caught off guard by their girlfriend saying they were ready to give themselves entirely to them. It would have proved to be a much better morning than going to class. I guess we will have to wait a little longer then.

We got up and showered and dressed for school. We grabbed a bite to eat and headed out the door. He walked me to my first class, and gave me a kiss on the lips.

"I love you Bella, have a good day in class." He said, smiling at me.

"I love you too, Edward, I hope you have a good day as well. Call me when you get out." I told him, then gave him another kiss and walked into my class.

I walked into my class, and went straight to my seat. At the beginning of the semester I made sure I got a seat near the T.A. Since it was a math course, and I had never been great with the subject, I wanted to make sure I could get help without interrupting others. I saw the rest of the class fill up and the professor come in. A few minutes later, right before class started, a guy I wasn't used to seeing came in. I guess that would be the new T.A. the teacher had told us about last week. As he came toward me, I swore he looked familiar. That alone made my heart drop right out of my torso, taking my stomach with it.

_No...It couldn't be._

I could feel my face heat up and tears prickle in my eyes. This person continued walking towards me, gave a sly smirk and took the T.A's seat. He had blond hair that went to between his shoulder's, tied back into a ponytail. He was wearing a bulky jacket over his t-shirt and a pair of worn jeans. Well, in my mind that's what I saw him in. He was actually wearing a pair of dark denim jeans and a graphic t-shirt that had some surf company logo on it. But the hair and the smile were the same.

_It can't be James. Could it?_

I just sat there, staring at the back of his head, as all of my memories of that night flooded back into the forefront of my mind. I never even realized when class had started, or ended for that matter. Eventually someone tapped my shoulder and told me we were able to leave. I grabbed my stuff and threw it in my bag and headed out. I decided just to go home after that.. I could just get notes from someone during the next class. I couldn't stay on campus anymore, I knew my brain would be useless for awhile.

I sent Edward a text saying I was heading home and that I would be fine. I got into the apartment and just fell onto the couch. I really didn't remember how I got to the apartment, I just remember walking, and then seeing the couch get closer to my face. I don't know how long I laid there, I vaguely heard someone behind me, and I could feel a bit of wetness on my face, I could only figure it was from the tears I knew would come.

After sometime I felt something warm grab my hand. I flinched, and felt my hand drop. I moved my head a little to see what touched me and saw a worried pair of emerald eyes staring back at mine.

"Love, what happened? Please, let me know what's wrong." I heard that familiar warm velvet voice say. Finally I snapped back to the present a little bit, and threw myself into his lap and buried my head into the crook of his neck. I felt a little bit of movement, then realized he had moved so he was sitting on the couch, but he let me stay curled up on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and just rocked us back and forth, humming the same melody he usually hums to me at night.

EPOV

I went to my first class, which went pretty well. Most of the time I was thinking of Bella. Before we got interrupted it looked like she was going to say something, but then Rose had to come along, and Bella never got to say what she wanted. I can't help but think it might be her telling me she may be ready to go the rest of the way, but that may just be my wishful thinking. By time class was over I had only got an idea of what had happened in it. I gathered my belongings and headed out of the hall. I felt my phone vibrate and pulled it out of my pocket to check it. I saw that I had a text from Bella and read it. It said she was headed home, which was weird, I thought she had a couple more classes. Oh well, I could be wrong, either her or one of the girls would call if something was up.

I went to my next class and tried to focus, but was distracted by thoughts of why she would have ditched her other classes. Finally my seemingly never-ending class finished and I started leaving. As I walked out the door I felt my phone go off again and answered it without checking the caller i.d.

"Bella, love, is that you?" I asked, not doing well to hide my worry.

"Edward, Bella is at the apartment. She is curled up on the couch crying. I tried talking to her but she doesn't respond or act like she can even hear me. Do you know what happened? Did you two fight or something?" Alice asked, sounding very distressed.

"I'm on my way over. She sent me a text after her first class saying she was headed home, but that she was fine. I haven't heard anything else from her since then."

"Alright, I will keep trying to talk to her, but I really think you should be here. She's more likely to talk to you and calm down than she will with any of us."

"I'll be right there, I'm just across the street." I told her, hanging up the phone and picking up the pace, going into a jog.

I got there about a minute later and just walked in the door, not really feeling a reason to knock right now. I went in and saw Bella in the fetal position on the couch. I sat on the floor next to her head and tried to hold one of her hands. As soon as I grabbed it she flinched away. I hesitated on what to do next. I wasn't ready for that, it hurt having her pull away. I really need to figure out what's wrong, I can't stand seeing her broken like she is now.

I leaned forward toward her a little more and said in a low voice, "Love, what happened? Please, let me know what's wrong." I pleaded to her. She glanced up and looked straight into my eyes. I held her gaze and she apparently saw what she needed. A look of recognition, relief and love crossed her face and before I could blink she jumped into my lap and buried her face in my neck. She grabbed onto my shirt and held on for life. I wrapped my arms around her and picked her up with me to settle us onto the couch. I started rocking us while rubbing her back and humming the song I've been writing for her. I was trying to do anything I could to calm her. I really wanted to know what happened to her, and I was fighting asking her now, but I knew I needed to wait until she was calm. Right now she barely even seemed part of the real world. My main focus was to calm her, then I knew she would talk to me when she was ready.

I sat like that with her until she finally fell asleep. I laid us down on the couch and wrapped her in my arms as tight as possible. Alice brought us a blanket and pillow to use, then bade us goodnight. Rose was staying at Emmett's tonight and Alice didn't want to call her till we knew something more of what was going on.

I stayed with her that way just watching her sleep and humming. She still had a look of worry on her face. She usually had a peaceful look on her face when she slept, now she still looked just as she did when she was awake. She had been asleep for about an hour before I finally dozed off. It didn't feel like I had been asleep long before I was awaken by a blood-curdling scream. I jolted awake. I still felt Bella in my arms, so I tried not to move too much. I could feel her thrashing about and I tried to hold her still enough so she wouldn't knock us off the couch. She was still asleep so I knew it was a nightmare, I wasn't sure whether to wake her or not. Before I could decide, she started talking in her sleep, well, it was more like pleading.

She was mumbling for the most part, but it mainly consisted of 'no's' and 'please don'ts'. She was starting to cry again in her sleep so I started to gently shake her and say calming words. I saw Alice's head peak over the couch with worry and concern etched all over it. She mouthed to me asking if Bella was okay. All I can do was shrug, I really didn't know.

Bella's eyes started to finally flutter open. When she first came to she jumped away from me. I held onto her so she wouldn't fall and told her everything would be okay. She looked back at me and instantly relaxed. She buried herself back into me and wrapped an arm around me, keeping me close to her. I tightened my grip on her more, keeping her as close to me as possible. I glanced back over at Alice and nodded my head to her, letting her know Bella would be fine. She nodded back to me and said goodnight and headed back to her room.

Bella and I just laid together for awhile before she pulled her head back a little. I loosened my grip on her a bit and raised my head to look at her.

"Thank you" she said, almost in a whisper and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

"For what, love?" I asked.

"For being here with me, and just holding on to me, keeping me safe." she replied, her voice getting a bit more substance to it.

"I'm always here for you, however you need me to be. I won't let anything happen to you." I told her. "What's wrong, did something happen during class today?" I asked, hoping it wasn't too soon to bring it up.

She laid her head back down on my chest before she answered. "I saw someone who reminded me of a guy I ran into a long time ago in Phoenix. I know it's not him, but it just caught me off guard and I freaked. All of the old memories came flooding back and I panicked." She explained. I just couldn't figure out what memories would cause that reaction. Unless...

"Who did you think you saw?"

"James" She replied. I only recognized the name because after the talk I had with Emmett I tried to question him more about what he knew of the encounter she had after the party her friend made her go to. The only other info he knew was that the guy's name was James.

"I'm so sorry hun, you are positive it wasn't him though." I asked. If there was a chance he was here I was going to make sure he never came across her again.

"Yeah, I'm sure. He had a couple different features. Just the way he smirked at me, and his overall appearance at first made me think it was. I'm sorry, you probably don't even know who I'm talking about."

"I have an idea, Emmett mentioned something about a guy coming after you on your way home from a party. Where did you see this guy?" I answered.

"During my math class, I went to my seat near the T.A's desk I've been sitting there all semester. I remembered the teacher said we were getting a new one today, as the other had some personal issues that were causing a conflict. I never thought much of it til the new one walked in.. When class was about to start I saw the guy walk in. He walked right near me, and gave me a sly smirk, much like James always gave, then sat down at the T. A's desk. I can't deal with that all semester, I won't be able to concentrate having someone who looks so much like him in my class. I didn't even know what happened today in class. The whole time I just kept getting flooded with the memories of that night." She said, her voice starting to get weaker again.

"Can you tell me what happened that night? If it's too painful you don't have to, I don't want to force you to talk about it."

"No, it's fine. I can tell you." She said and cuddled into me even more. I made sure she was comfortable and that my arms were tight around her, so that she would know she was safe.

"At school in Phoenix, my junior year, I finally decided to try to make friends, and talk a little more to my classmates. I made friends with a girl and we hit it off fairly well. We hung out on occasion, but I never really got close to her. She was mainly like an acquaintance. She was trying to get the attention of some of the popular guys, which in turn put me in there sights as well. They kept making passes at us, and she would of course agree, but I constantly denied their advances. They kept pushing for me to date them, mostly they just wanted the challenge I think, and the notch on their bedpost. They had tried for about a month or so, to no avail, when my friend mentioned a party she wanted to go to. She asked me about it while in front of my mom, so of course my mom got on my case about how I had to go, that I needed to get out and meet some new faces. She practically forced me to go. So the night of the party came around, and my friend drove us there, seeing as I didn't have a car.

"We got there, and everyone was drinking. I stayed away from all the alcohol and tried to stay near my friend. She had a few drinks and found one of the guys that she had been flirting with all semester. They went off up the stairs and the other guy kept trying to get me to go up there with him. I wouldn't and finally got away from him. After awhile I was ready to leave, but still couldn't find my friend. I decided to walk home, seeing as it was only a few blocks away. I left the party and had made it a few blocks before I could feel someone behind me. I tried to walk faster but the person behind me grabbed my arm and turned me around. I saw it was James, the same guy who kept trying to hook up with me. I tried to turn away and leave, but he just tightened his grip.

"He kept saying things like I knew I wanted him, and to stop fighting it. He pulled me to him and tried to kiss me, but I managed to push him away with my free hand. He brought his hand back and hit me across the face. He kept trying to push himself on me, and convince me to give into him, but I wouldn't. This seemed to aggravate him more and he got more violent. He threw me down, which flung my purse away from me. He was trying to force himself on me. I kept squirming so he couldn't get a good grasp of me. He ended up ripping my clothes off of me, and pushed me back down to the ground. I was still trying to squirm and escape and managed to get us a little closer to my purse. He was able to force his tongue in my mouth and and his fingers in me. He started trying to move up me, saying it was my turn to pleasure him, and as he started to move up me, I was able to move just enough to grab my purse. I hit him in the head with it, remembering that I had a book in there. It knocked him off of me long enough to get up and grab some of my clothes.

"I ran away and was able to get what was left of my pants and shirt back on. I finally made it home, with tear stained cheeks and ripped clothes. My mom saw me and started yelling at me about how could I go and get myself in that situation again. She was screaming at me about giving myself up to guys and a bunch of other things. She wouldn't let me explain anything or defend myself.

"School after that was pure hell. He was everywhere I tried to go. He kept trying to get to me again, it didn't matter where I went. I thought I could get away from him in the girls bathroom and locker room, but that proved useless. He would just follow me and the other girls would leave. I managed to keep away from him most of the time. Only a couple times was he able to get his hands on me again. I tried telling the principal but they couldn't do anything because they didn't have any proof or witnesses. He never was able to get what he was going for, but he wasn't exactly coming up empty handed either. Finally the school year ended and he left for college. I think he went somewhere in California. I made sure to find out what state he went to so that I could make sure to stay far away from it."

She finally finished the story. She still had her head stuck in the crook of my neck, and was holding on to me for dear life. I kept my arms wrapped tightly around her, but my hands were in tight fists, trying to keep the anger at bay. It wouldn't help her much if I went off threatening the guy. She needed me to be here for her, and comfort her. That would be my main priority.

"It'll be alright, love. I will keep you safe, he isn't anywhere near here. If you want, we can get you signed up into another math course so you don't have to have that reminder. If not it should still be early enough for you to drop it. Maybe you could make it up over summer if they don't have space for you in another one. I love you. I promise, everything will be okay." I told her, hoping it would help.

"Thank you. I'm sorry if I worried everyone. I've tried so hard to forget about it and deal with it on my own, but I never really could. All I could do was just try and push it to the back of my mind." She replied.

"We were worried, but only because we all love you and just want you to be happy and safe. We all love and care about you. You never have to apologize for any of that. We would do anything for you, I want you to know that. If anything ever bothers you again like that, or you get scared, call me please. I hated not knowing what was wrong, I was so worried about you. I don't want to think of you wandering around or sitting here upset by yourself. Promise me that you will either call me, Emmett or either of the girls if you ever get upset or scared, please."

"Okay, I'm sorry for worrying you. I will let you know if something comes up. I promise. I love you, Edward, thank you again for being here for me." She seemed to finally be relaxing again. I started rubbing her back and humming her lullaby again. Shortly after she fell back asleep, finally looking peaceful.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

BPOV

I woke up the next morning feeling a little better, but still a bit distraught about the assistant in my math class and the memories of James. I don't think I would be able to face him again. I'm glad I have Edward and Emmett now, I know at least they can protect me and keep me safe if ever the need did arise.

I got up and got ready for school like I normally would, Edward left right after I woke up so he could get ready as well. I made it through my classes unscathed. I still wasn't able to focus completely on my studies. I at least was able to get the overview of what was taking place in class, so I wasn't completely lost. By time my classes ended that day, the office was closed, so I didn't get the chance to talk to someone about changing my class. I guess I will have to endure my math class tomorrow and see how it turns out. We can hope for the best though.

Tuesday night the group gathered at our apartment just to hang out and watch movies. It was nice and relaxing to just spend some time with my friends. They felt the same way and somehow got talking about going away for the weekend. They started planning and seems they made reservations for the six of us at a ski resort for the weekend.

Bedtime came around again and I wasn't really sure how I would fare through my nightmares, so I packed a bag and stayed with Edward for the night. This way he wouldn't have to run home in the morning like he would have if he stayed with me.

He walked me to my class the next morning and kissed me and wished me luck. I went in and tried to find another seat, but since I got there right before the class started the only vacant seats were near the T.A. I took one as far as I could get, which ended up being two rows behind him and three seats over. Not that distant, but at least I wouldn't feel like I was being watched the whole time.

He came in right after class started and walked to his seat. As he went to sit down he smiled at me with that stupid sly creepy smirk, nodded his head and acknowledged me by my name. How does this creep know my name?

I tensed up even more than I had been and just gripped onto my desk, trying as best I could to stay in the present, not wanting to relive the past, or pass out in front of this creep. I can almost swear it isn't James, but the similarities are uncanny. I made it through the class and darted out of the room, just looking for the relief of being able to hide in the crowd. As soon as I ran out of the door, I felt someone grab a hold of my arms. I shrieked and jumped back trying to escape.

I felt the arms pull me back into the owners chest, and heard a familiar voice say "Shh, it's okay Bella, you're fine now."

"Edward, thank God it's you," I replied with a relieved sigh. "Don't ever scare me like that again please, my heart can't take that kind of surprise."

"Sorry love, just thought you would need some comfort after that class. I went to the office during your class and had them start working on getting you into another course, but they still need you to come down and sign something, to make sure you want to change."

"Thank you, can we go now, I've got a little time before my next course. I want this to be over with, I can't go back into that class. He knows my name. I don't know if he studied the roster or how he knows it, but he does and it's not a comfortable notion."

"Of course, I'll head over with you, I've got some time too." He said, and then moved to my side, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him and placing a kiss on my head. As we walked away from the class I turned to look back at the door and saw the teacher's assistant standing outside of it staring at me, still with a smirk on his face. When he saw me look at him, he gave me a wink, then glanced at Edward and then disappeared into the crowd. A shiver ran down my spine. Edward felt it, glanced down at me, then behind us. He didn't see anything of importance and just looked at me puzzled. I shook my head and looked forward again, cuddling closer to my salvation.

We got the course switched, which worked out nicely as I ended up in the same class as Edward and Emmett. If I didn't know any better I would think he bribed them to put me in that course. I could be wrong, but the smug smile on Edward's face, and the shaking and cowering of the student helping might have given me that hint. I wonder if that's why Edward came here first without me. Either way, I can't give him a hard time about it, I will feel much better in a class with them.

The rest of the day passed in a flash, as did the remainder of the week. Next thing I knew it was Friday afternoon and we were leaving on our trip. Alice took care of all my packing on Thursday, so all I had to do was sneak in my comfortable sweats and a hoodie, and I was good to go. We all headed up in the jeep for the short drive to the resort. We didn't want to waste much time with the commute so we stayed nearby. The whole scene was gorgeous when we got there. They usually have a golf course during the warm months, but with the snow they transform it into a whole new place. Besides just having the mountains for skiing and snowboarding, they turn one of the fairways into a sledding slope, and the lake for the water trap freezes over to make an ice skating rink.

We got in and settled into our rooms. They reserved three, one for each couple. The rooms were amazing, each one looked like it's own cabin from the inside. They had a living room, with its own fireplace, and a small kitchen area, then they had a huge bedroom, with another wood burning fireplace. It had a huge four poster bed with with a deep red comforter and shams with gold accents and sheets. It had some wooden dressers and an armoire for our clothes. The bathroom was even beautiful. It had two sinks side by side with a large mirror, with sconces on either side. It had a glass shower area, with multiple shower heads, one coming from the front and back wall, and two in the ceiling. It also had a separate tub. It was huge, could easily fit a few people, and had jets and colored lights in it. Behind a separate door was the toilet.

We unpacked and met up with the rest of the group in the lounge area. Since it was early evening, we decided to go ice skating.

We followed the others out and got our skates on. If I ever thought I had laughed before, I was sorely mistaken. The sight of Emmett, trying to walk in ice skates was hilarious. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't trying to be graceful about it. He was holding on to everything in his path, lifting his knees extra high in front of him so the skates didn't catch on anything. We could see him wobbling back and forth with each step. I was amazed that for one moment in my life I actually looked more graceful and adjusted then someone else. I would have thought he would have played ice hockey or something at some point in his life, therefore would be used to the ice skates, but no, he never had. We all finally made it out to the rink. I had to walk out with Rose and Alice by my side, as the boys were helping Emmett, making sure he didn't fall over. When we got out, Emmett was a bit more at ease, so the couples were able to pair off again. I struggled to keep a good pace and not fall over. Edward grabbed both of my hands and went in front of me, skating backwards so he was facing me.

"Show off, it's not nice to do that in front of people you know," I told him.

"What else are you supposed to do if you can't show off in front of your girlfriend. That's half the point of dating, to show you're better than anyone else, so that you can win the girl" he replied.

I let out a small chuckle before I replied. "Well, you already won the girl, you have no reason to keep up with impressing me. I already know you are better than anyone else, that's why I love you." I told him with a smile, a small blush covering my cheeks.

"I love you too, doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to impress you though." After he finished talking he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around my waist picking me up about a foot off the floor. He pulled me in tight for a kiss. We stayed like that for a few moments, a smile on both of our faces.

I finally broke the kiss to look in his eyes. I was still amazed with everything I saw in them. I could see the love he held for me, his need for me. I could see a life together, filled with many adventures and experiences. I could see happiness and admiration. I could see in those two perfect, deep green pools everything I could ever want for me and him. But most importantly, I could see home. Every time I looked into his eyes I felt at home. That alone gave me what I needed to know I could get through anything I encountered in my life, in our lives, and whatever was held for me to do with the creep from my old math class, and any bad memories or nightmares I may have. My forever was held in those eyes.

I realized the danger of Edward holding me like this, while on skates moving around the rink, captivated by each other and voiced it to him.

"You do realize you are holding a time bomb, while on sharp blades, and not paying attention to where you are going, don't you?"

"I know exactly where we are going. We have already successfully completed several laps around the rink, no injuries yet." He said, then decided to put me down without stopping first.

The front of my skate on my left foot hit the ice first, and hooked into it, successfully starting my fall toward Edward and the ice. He still had a hold of me and was moving as I fell forward into, sending him backward into the ice. He fell onto his backside, still holding me, pulling me up to him to break my fall. We both landed with a thud, him on his back and me on top of his chest, face to face. I felt his foot him my leg but didn't think anything of it.

My face turned a new shade of red and I buried my head into the crook of his neck, trying to hide. I could feel his chest moving with the laughter he was trying to hide.

"I guess you called that one, didn't you?" He said through his laughter. I just gave him an evil look and tried to get off of him. He held on tighter to my waist and kept me on him. He finally was able to get out an apology as the others made their way to us.

Jasper, Emmett and Rose asked if we were okay, making sure we didn't hit the floor too hard. I glanced up then and saw Alice with her arms crossed, fuming. I gave her a questioning look, and she glared at the both of us.

"Isabella Marie, is that how you treat the clothes I bought you. I know you have no regard for your own clothes, but I thought you would be a bit more considerate with the beautiful pieces I bought you." She half yelled. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what she was talking about. I also was having a hard time holding back my own laughter now from how angry she looked about a clothing infraction.

"Alice, what are you talking about?" I asked while taking a quick look at my outfit. I couldn't see anything wrong.

She bent down and grabbed part of the pant leg and pulled it out so I could look at it. "You let him rip your pants, do you have any idea who designed those, can't you have a little respect over it?" She fumed.

I looked at my pants and saw a two inch rip from where Edward's skate had caught them on our way down. "I'm sorry Alice, I didn't mean to put a hole in them. I'm sure we can fix it, and don't worry, Edward and I are fine, no need to ask if we are okay." I said, with a little sarcasm. I swear that girl and her clothing obsession, it should be outlawed.

"Well I know you are fine, you fall all the time. You are used to it. It's useless trying to save the pants, I guess I will just have to take you shopping for more." She stated, getting a little glint in her eye.

"Alice, really it's not necessary! I can fix it, I have other pairs, we really don't need to have another all out shopping trip, really." I said, pleadingly to her.

After skating around again for awhile, we all decided to go back to the lodge. Everyone hung out in our room for awhile, just catching up and making s'mores in the fireplace. Once we realized it was getting to be late, the others parted ways to head back to their own rooms.

Once we were alone, Edward disappeared into our room, leaving me on the couch alone. I tried to watch TV for a bit, but nothing caught my eye. I waited twenty minutes before deciding I would go see what he was up to.

As I walked into our bedroom, I noticed the lights were dim and there were a few candles on the nightstands, and the fireplace was lit. I looked over everything, reveling in how romantic and serene it looked, but noticed Edward still wasn't anywhere to be seen.

I slowly walked over to the bathroom and peaked inside. I noticed the lights in there were dim as well. I could hear water running in the background. I opened the door the rest of the way, and saw more candles placed throughout. They were sparsely around the sinks, but most of the resided on the ledges of the tub. I saw Edward sitting on the side of the tub in just his pajama pants, watching it fill with water. There were some bubbles and flower petals floating in the water. I could smell the light scent of lavender floating in the air.

When Edward looked up and saw me staring at him, he gave me his crooked grin, which lit up his whole face, and he raised a hand out to me, calling me over to him.

I walked over to him and let him pull me into his lap.

"What's all of this for?" I asked him, while placing a kiss on his neck.

"I knew you had a stressful week, so I thought you might like to relax." He explained.

"You really are perfect aren't you?" I asked him, turning a little more to be able to kiss him fully. He kept the kiss light and pulled away after only a few seconds.

He held on to my waist before reaching over to turn off the water. He held out his hand to help me off of his lap, then turned me to him and pulled me close once he was standing as well. He lifted up my arms over my head and reached for the bottom of my sweater. I let him take it, and relished in the feeling of his hands running over my almost bare torso. He kissed my shoulder and neck as he reached behind me to unclasp my bra. He took it off, dropping it to the floor with my shirt, and slowly ran his fingers over my back. I melted into his chest, letting his hands relax me.

He continued gently rubbing over my arms and torso, then made his way to the button of my pants. He unbuttoned, then slowly unzipped my pants, letting them fall to the floor. I stepped out of them, managing to step a little closer to my personal god. He continued to rub over any part of exposed skin he could find, except for my chest. It seemed he was doing this to be completely sensual and relaxing, not trying to arrive to a certain outcome.

I was amazed that every time I thought I couldn't love him anymore he would find away to make me, without even trying or with a second thought. He always just took care of me how he seemed fit, and it was more than I could ever hope for.

He finally moved to take my underwear off, hooking his fingers into the sides, and pulling them down, letting his hands graze down the sides of my legs as he removed them. After I stepped out of them, Edward moved his hands to my upper arms and led me to the tub. He helped me step in, and made sure the water temperature was perfect.

I reclined in the tub, expecting to see him pull off his pajamas and join me. So I was surprised when he turned around and started to head out the door. He made it about two steps before I was able to sit up and wrap my tiny hand around his wrist.

"What's wrong, do you need something else?" He asked, a look of curiosity in his eyes.

"Yeah, you forgot the most important thing I need to relax." I told him.

"What's that, I can get it for you." He replied, still seeming a bit lost.

"You, I was hoping you would join me." I replied.

"I thought you would want to relax alone, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." He answered back to me.

I leaned forward to him, keeping my eyes locked on his, while grabbing the sides of his pants and lowering them until they met his ankles. He took the hint finally and stepped out of them, and stepped into the tub. I sat up and scooted forward making space for him behind me. He sat down and pulled me back close so that my back was laying against his chest. He kissed the top of my head, then rested his chin on it while turning on the jets and the colored lights, turning the water a tranquil blue.

We stayed in their for awhile, talking about random topics, while he massaged my shoulders, arms and back. I kept a calming motion of rubbing my hands up and down his legs. Once the water started to drop in temperature, he helped me to get out of the tub, and stepped out after me, once he released the drain plug.

He grabbed one of the fluffy towels and wrapped me up in it, then grabbed one for himself. After drying off a tad, I reclaimed his wrist and led him into the bedroom. He tried to stop and retrieve his sleep pants from the bathroom, but I just shook my head 'no' and tugged on his arm.

I led him over to the bed and sat him on the edge. I snuck my way between his legs, putting my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. Without saying anything, I started to kiss his neck slowly, playing with his ear lobe. I ran my fingertips up and down the back of his neck and shoulders.

I heard a small moan come from him before he spoke. "Bella, you can't start that, already having been naked with you for awhile has weakened my resolve quite a bit. I'm not sure of my ability to stop if it goes too far." He said.

"Good, that's what I was hoping for" I replied to him.

"Bella, love, I don't want to do anything till you're ready, I don't want to accidentally go to far." He replied, and I could hear the concern in his voice.

I put my lips to his ear, grazing them back and forth for a moment, before whispering "I'm ready" to him.

He pulled back a moment to look into my eyes, "Are you sure love, I don't mind waiting."

I gave a small nod and a smile, before pushing him back onto the bed. He leaned up and unwrapped my towel, letting it fall to the ground. I reached to his hips and undid his, then as he lifted his hips, took it from under him.

He grabbed onto my waist and picked me up, then placed me onto the middle of the large bed. We took our time with each other and worshiped every inch of one another. It was an answered prayer getting to spend this moment with him. We had never had the chance to take our time and appreciate what was happening in the past. Both times we were together it was rather rushed and spur of the moment.

The care he took with my body, and I tried to return to him astounded me. In every action we did that night, our love and admiration toward each other showed through. Nothing was rushed or hurried. We spent a good majority of the night in each others arms, and in our pleasures. There was no yelling of each others names, just soft moans and purrs. Nothing else needed to be said, we said 'I love you' with our bodies, and made our promises with our eyes. It was the most perfect time we could ever share with one another.

After we were done, and noticed the sun starting to lighten the sky, Edward pulled me in closer with his arms, as I rested my head against his chest, one of my hands on his stomach, the other under his head, still laced in his hair. We fell into the best sleep we could have and didn't move until we awoke later that morning.

Unfortunately, perfect moments don't last forever. They end especially abruptly when you have a big lug for a friend, with the patience of a two year old.

Emmett barreled into our room at ten a.m. yelling about wanting to go.

We were laying in each others arms still, my chin resting on his chest, as we just looked into each other's faces, still reveling in the magic we had created just hours before. That was until we heard the front door slam open and Emmett's booming voice, along with a few others in the background. We both looked to the bedroom door just in time to see Emmett swing it open and hear Emmett call out my name.

"Hey Bells! You want to go with me to ...oh" He stopped mid-sentence and mid-step as his eyes fell upon Edward's bare chest and my bare back. He first looked stunned, then I saw him glare daggers at Edward with his eyes while his hands clenched at his side.

"What's going on?" Alice asked while coming into the room after him. She took quick inventory of the situation, then grabbed Emmett's arm and tried to pull him back out of the room. I love that pixie. It didn't work too well though, considering the size difference. I saw her motion to someone, then saw Rose appear in the door and grab Emmett's ear and pull him back out. Alice followed them quickly, shot me a quick smile, then shut the door behind them.

"I guess it's time to get up then, huh?" I asked Edward, not really ready to start moving yet.

He pulled me closer, then kissed the top of my head, before releasing me. "I think that would be good, I would like to be dressed before he tries to come back in here to kick my ass." He stated, starting to pull the covers off of us.

"Shower with me?" I asked him, figuring it would cut down on time, and still give us some extra alone time together. Instead of an answer he just climbed off the bed, offered me his hand, and grabbed our towels from the night before.

We showered rather quickly and got dressed. After I had blow dried my hair and put it into a braid we exited the room, finding everyone sprawled out in the living talking about the plans for the day.

They only paused for a moment when we walked into the room, while they all turned to look at us, with varying looks of approval or disapproval on their face.

Emmett walked over to me and sat by me, to get closer to my level before talking. "Hey Bell, would you want to come snowboarding with me today. Maybe spend some time with your big brother?" He said, trying to give me a small smile.

"Sure Em, I would love to." I told him, while putting my arms around his neck to give him a hug. He pulled me in to a quick hug then let me go so we could say bye to everyone.

I got my shoes on, and grabbed my snowsuit, courtesy of Alice, and went to say bye to Edward.

I put my stuff down and walked over to him. He pulled me close to him and placed his head on mine, inhaling my hair. I buried my head into his chest to do the same thing.

"I will see you later." I said to him, still not wanting to pull back.

"Of course, please be safe out there. I couldn't handle anything happening to you."

"I will do my best, but you know I can't promise to not get hurt. I will do as little boarding as possible, I just need to spend some time with Emmett. He will take care of me, no worries." I told him.

"I know, I love you, call me as soon as you guys are done, or if you need me for anything."

"I will, I love you too." I told him, and leaned up to kiss him. He deepened the kiss, and I could feel his reluctance to let me go. Finally, I pulled away, gave him a smile, waved by to everyone else and left with Emmett.

We made our way out to the slopes after stopping to get fitted with boots and getting our snowboards and equipment. I was already afraid for my life just trying to walk in the snow with the stuff I had to carry, and that was with Emmett carrying my board.

Once we got there, Emmett helped me gear up, then got himself ready.

"So, you know I have no idea what I'm doing, right?" I asked him.

"I figured as much. It's cool though, I will teach you, it's easy."

"Maybe to you, have you met me, miss can't walk on a flat surface without tripping on air?" I half laughed while asking.

"See, that's why this is safer, you're legs will be locked in place, all you need is to know how to maneuver the rest of your body." He laughed back at me. I don't know what type of sense that makes, but hopefully he is right.

We both got up and he gave me the rundown of what I should and shouldn't do. After some mistrials, and a few bruises, I finally made it five feet. Major accomplishment. We even did a victory dance. After another hour or so of trying I was actually getting pretty decent. I could stay up, and stop, so maybe I wasn't always upright, but it got the job done.

On what ended up being our last pass, I got in position along side Emmett, we both started going, and I actually kept my balance for a good portion of the slope. We made it down pretty far, then I heard Emmett yell something behind me. I tried to turn and see what was wrong, but ended up twisting too much and threw myself into the ground. I tumbled head over heals a few times then finally slid to a stop. I laid there for a few minutes while Emmett made his way back to me.

"Bells, you okay? What happened, you were doing so good?" He asked, trying to hide his laugh.

"I'm fine, just a bruised ego. What were you yelling about? I was going fine, then I heard you yell something, so I tried to look and see what was wrong, then _this_ happened." I explained.

"Oh, sorry. I was excited. I jumped over a stump so I was cheering that I made it. I didn't think you would throw yourself into the ground just because of it." He replied, as he moved to lay down in the snow next to me. Luckily, when I took my tumble I landed off to the side of the slope, so no one will hit us if they come down.

"It's fine Em. It was bound to happen. I'm surprised I stayed up as long as I did." I told him.

"Well, since we have this awesome time together, can we talk about something?" He asked.

"Of course, what's up?" I asked him, noticing his odd change in demeanor.

"Well, I just wanted to see how you've been doing. I haven't really seen you much except when the whole group gets together. I heard you were having some problems with one of your classes." He started.

"I've been good Em. Just trying to focus on school and hanging out with Edward. I was having a problem with someone from my math class. The T.A. looks a lot like James, and we ended up sitting near each other. It was so weird, he smiled just like him, has similar hair, similar features, the same mannerisms, and the same way of looking at someone and being able to creep them out with just a glance. That's pretty much been taken care of though. Edward got my math course changed, now I'm in class with you and him. So math won't be a problem anymore."

"Well, that's good. At least I know you will be safe in math now. Nothing will happen to you in our custody. So, this whole Edward thing, you're serious about this? You think he is a good choice to date? I know what you've told me about the guy in your past, and Edward clarified and informed me that it was him who did that to you. You don't think he will just leave again?" He asked.

"No, Em, he won't do that again. He loves me Em, I love him too. We know how bad it hurts to be away from each other now, we can't live through that again. I think he could be my forever. I try not to think about that a lot, you know me, I try not to put too much stock into possibilities and hopes. But if it's going to work out with anyone, it'll be him. I don't want anyone else. I couldn't picture being happy with anyone else." I explained to him.

"Just be careful, Bells. I don't want you to get hurt by him again. I've seen him use girls in the past. I don't want him to use you like that. He never really tried with them, and I will give him credit, he is treating you much better than he did any of them, but still, it doesn't mean it will always be like that."

"I know about the other girls, he told me about them already. He told me they were merely distractions, and no, I don't really agree with what he did, but I understand it. If I were in a better situation after the fact I would have tried to start dating too. Yes, I do have an underlying fear that he will leave, but I know why he did before, and we won't have to ever encounter that again. I have faith in him, for the first time since you, I have faith in a guy. I know I'm giving him a lot more to handle then I did with you. But he has wanted to take as much as I can give, and the same goes for me. We were always waiting for each other, regardless if we were near each other or states apart. I'm going to fully enjoy having him back in my life. My life finally means something again. And maybe I'm giving him too much credit, but if you remember, my life started getting so much better once I ran into him again. I finally got out of that stupid coffee job, and my dorm. I made amazing new friends, I got a great job and apartment. It just proves that even if we are in a disagreement, my life is still better with him in it. I want you to see that Em, I want you to know that my life is only going to get better with him in it. Even if things seem bad, just having him with me makes it better, easier to handle."

"Yeah, I guess I can understand that. I'm glad he told you about the girls, at least he isn't keeping anything from you. It is weird that everything started moving forward for you when he interfered in your life. I guess that's good. Just, please, be careful. That's all I can ask, I know you're a big girl now, and you can handle yourself. I just can't help but see you how you were when we first met. I'm still afraid for you. Plus, what kind of brother would I be if I didn't give you a hard time about the guy you're dating. Especially if you guys are going to be participating in 'playtime' now."

"Playtime...nice, I will be careful, and thank you for being a good big brother the past few years. I could never find a better brother than you. And thank you, for the role you played in helping my life along. He may have started the ball rolling on getting my life going, but you came through with some great solutions. I wouldn't be doing so well without your help either. So, can we head back now, I'm starting to freeze and my wrist is bothering me." I asked. I managed to land on my wrist during my tumble, and I know it isn't anything bad, probably just twisted it, but still, it hurts a tad.

"Yeah, lets head back, that boyfriend of yours will probably hire a search party if we don't make it back soon." He said, getting up and helping me up as well. We grabbed all of our gear and headed back to the lodge.

When we finally made it back in, the rest of the group was already hanging out in the main lobby/ lounge area. As soon as I saw Edward I headed straight for him, collapsing in his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close to him as he could. He kissed the top of my head, then went for my lips. I obliged him in a kiss then rested my head on his chest.

"I missed you, love. How did it go? Are you okay, you're rather damp?" He asked.

"I missed you too. I'm fine, I had a small tumble when he got a little over excited about making a jump. Then we just laid around and talked for awhile. I am rather cold though. I think I'm going to take a hot shower." I told him, then turned to the rest of the crowd. "If you guys want, give me like twenty minutes than we can hang out in Edward and my room and watch some movies or play some games. I just want to warm up and get some sweats on quick first."

"That sounds good, I'll bring up some hot cocoa and something warm to snack on." Alice said, as everyone started to get up to change.

I grabbed Edward's hand and towed him along behind me back to the room. "So how did your day with Emmett go, he didn't look like he was going to attack me tonight, so that's a good sign, right?" He asked as we entered the room.

"No, everything is fine now. We talked about everything and settled any worries he had. You know he's your friend and he likes you, but you could be a saint and his blood relative, and he still wouldn't think you would be good enough for me. He's had to protect me for so long, it's just second nature to him. He just wants me to be safe, and not have to worry about me breaking again. I wasn't really in the best shape when we met, he doesn't want to see me like that again."

"I can understand that. I would be the same way with my sister. He told me a bit about how you were while we were separated. I'm sorry, it was my fault he spilled, I asked him after our date on New Year's. You just seemed so gone that night when I dropped you off. I just needed an idea of what happened that brought out that significant of an outcome. Just know, I will never let that happen again. I am always here for you, and I will always be here with you. I meant it when I said we will be going on dates for the rest of our lives. I plan on being with you forever, I hope you feel the same way. I understand if you don't yet, or you aren't sure, that just means that I will keep proving it to you every way possible."

"I know, and I want that to be our forever as well." I told him. I then got showered and in my old comfy sweats and set up the living room for our friends.

The next day we all went around, taking advantage of every sport or activity we could. Being as the place was close to home, we got to stay as late as we wanted. We all hung out, and made complete fools out of ourselves, while trying to act like we knew what we were doing.

After busting our asses in as many ways feasible in the snow, we decided to head home. The boys dropped us off at our place before heading back to theirs. Rose, Alice and I grabbed our stuff and made our way into the apartment. I got in first and went straight to my room to drop my stuff. Right after I put my bag on my bed, I heard Alice call my name from the foyer.

"Yeah Alice, what's up?" I asked, walking back out toward her. I looked at her and saw she was holding an envelope. As I reached her, she held it out to me. I grabbed it and looked on the front. The only thing on the outside was 'Bella'.

I stared at it for a moment, then slowly started to open it. I pulled out a letter and noticed something else in the envelope...


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

BPOV

I glanced at the clump of blue material in the envelope, then decided I should read the letter before I worry about it.

I held on to the letter and envelope while making my way to the couch. Alice and Rose sat down on either side of me, scooting close to see what the note was about.

I opened it up and slowly read the contents, able to see my friends reading over my shoulder as well.

_Bella, _

_It's been awhile since I've gotten to see you up close, and I am excited to see you've grown into an even more tempting woman. I will forever be grateful to my brother for finding you for me. I haven't been able to get you off of my mind since High School. Even the tramps in collage can't compare to what your body could do for me. I'm looking forward to finally getting from you what I tried so hard to accomplish during school. I do not like to be denied, and I will not be. I finally decided it time to give you back an article of clothing that I still kept hold of from our adventure many years ago. I return them with the promise of obtaining another pair from you. You owe me now, remember that. _

_See you soon, _

_James_

I heard gasps come from both Rose and Alice as they finished reading as their arms wrapped around me tighter. I dumped the contents of the envelope out and saw the blue material fall onto my lap. I picked it up to see what it was, although I was pretty sure I already knew. As I held it up I confirmed my own suspicions, it was the navy blue underwear I wore the night of the party that led up to James' first attempt on me.

I don't know how long I sat on the couch in silence. I dropped the bottoms almost as soon as I recognized them, but I didn't move other than that. The girls stayed with me, holding onto me, and luckily not asking questions. I had told them the gist of what happened with him before, so I knew I wouldn't have to explain that again.

After some time had past, I felt Alice tug on my arm and tell me we should go to bed. I got up with their help and went into Alice and my room. I laid on the bed, still in my day clothes, not feeling up to stripping at the moment. Even though there weren't any guys here, and I would be getting dressed again right after, I couldn't bring myself to willingly take my clothes off. I laid there for a bit just thinking over the letter, and having flashbacks of my junior year, and his attacks at me.

After awhile of not being able to fall into a slumber, and silently crying, I glanced over at Alice, noticing that she was still awake. I silently pleaded to her with my eyes. She gave me a sad smile and waved me over. "Oh come here, sweetie" she said, and patted the spot on her bed next to her. I laid down with her under the covers as she wrapped an arm around me and started playing with my hair in a comforting manner. After laying there for a little while, I finally fell asleep, though it was anything but peaceful. My nightmares never woke me, but they were vivid and felt brand new again.

The next morning I awoke to the sound of the alarm clock, though I realized it wasn't where I was normally used to seeing it. I vaguely heard an "Oh thank god" come from behind me.

I looked over and saw Alice next to me in the bed. She looked worse for the wear. I sat up to get a better look at her. She looked like she had been through a fight. Her hair was all over the place, she looked like she hadn't slept at all. I glanced down to see she had bruises on her arm, and something that looked like a bite mark on her forearm.

I looked back at her face and asked her what happened to her. I didn't remember seeing any of that on her the day before.

"You happened!" She exclaimed. "You were screaming and yelling half the night, which got annoying, but I understood, and you wouldn't wake up when I tried, regardless of how much I jostled you, or how loud I got. Then you proceeded to thrash and try to fight back. If you think my arms are bad, you should see my legs. I'm going to have to wear pants, and put make-up on my arms for weeks after the abuse I got during the night."

I felt so bad that I had done all of that to her. I had no idea my dream was going to be so vivid I took it out on her. I could feel the warm tears starting to fall down my cheeks while I kept my eyes on her arms.

"Oh hun, it's fine. I'm sorry, I was just giving you a hard time. Bruises show easy on me, you didn't really hurt me, and it gives me a good reason to go shop for more pants. You can never have too many perfect jeans." She said, starting to laugh a little.

I couldn't help but laugh a little at her attempt at cheering me up.

"I bit you," I stated quietly, glancing at her forearm.

"That's nothing to worry about either. You should see some of the marks Jasper leaves on me. We just try to keep those in places most people wouldn't encounter on me. I'll be fine, no worries, I promise." She reassured me.

I finally got in the bathroom to take a quick shower, then dressed for school.

The boys came over to our apartment to escort us to school. As I walked out, I saw Jasper looking at Alice's arms. I noticed Edward glancing at them, then over to me. He had the letter in his hand.

He walked straight over to me and pulled me into the tightest hold he has ever unleashed on me, lavishing small kisses on the crown of my head.

"How are you love?" He asked.

"I'll be fine. I don't want to think about it right now, but at least I know why the teacher's assistant looked so familiar. I should have figured it out sooner. He was at the party with the rest of us. He is about a year older than James, but they were in the same grade. I'm surprised he would still be here. It would only make sense I guess that he would tell James about seeing me. He was always trying to help him get to me. He was usually the lookout. I suppose he never really gave up that job." I replied.

"Are you okay going to classes today, I can stay home with you if you'd like?" He stated.

"No, I've already missed classes over this. I'm not going to give him the upper hand. I've worked too hard to be at this school, I won't ruin that now, not over this. I will be fine, plus, I have you and Em to keep me safe, right." I informed him, giving him a small smile.

He nodded, then grabbed our bags and kept an arm around my waist as we all filed out of the apartment.

Being in the math course with Edward and Emmett was a whole new experience. I had gotten used to Emmett's protection of me during my earlier years of college, but the combined forces of them was taking it to a whole new level. When we entered, they both had a hold of me, Edward's arm still wrapped around my waist, and Em's arm secure around my elbow. They led me up to the top row and sat me between the two of them. With our placement they were able to see everyone in the room, not allowing anyone to sneak up on us. Any time a guy would come near us, or glance at me, they would collectively give them fatal looks. I was starting to expect to see guys just drop dead on the stairs during class.

It was nice being in Edward's class though. He seemed to understand the material better than I did, so he was able to explain it to me, and help me out with it.

The rest of the day went by pretty uneventful. I could feel a small case of paranoia start to come on though. I always felt like there was someone staring at me, or following behind me. I'm sure I looked this side of special as I kept snapping my head one way and the other to make sure no one was behind me, or after me.

When I got home, I saw my duffel, full, and resting by the end of the couch. Rose came out of her room and I looked back at the duffel then at her questioningly.

"Alice packed your overnight bag with enough clothes to last you a week or so. She talked to Edward and they agreed that you should stay with him for awhile. They said this way you can sleep better, Edward and Emmett can keep you safe, since we know that this guy knows where you live, and also so Alice doesn't get beaten up anymore. You know, I'm glad you finally hit her. With all her hyper spells and over enthusiasm about everything, I've had to stop myself from doing it a few times. I'm happy that in the end, she got hers." Rose said, laughing at the last part.

"So I guess I have no say huh? Not that I mind staying with Edward and Emmett, I just don't want to put anyone out."

"You're fine, you aren't putting anyone out. Edward had one request though if you are going to stay there for awhile. He said something about leaving you're Edgar Allen Poe book here, because he didn't need another mark from it. " She explained.

"Okay, and he wouldn't have had a mark if he didn't sneak up on unsuspecting people, even if they are in his bed." I stated with mock irritation.

Shortly after our interaction Edward came by and I grab my bag and we left to go back to his house. I found out on the way there that Jasper was going to be staying with the girls while I was at Edward's. That way they weren't completely alone, since creepy assistant guy knows our address.

Edward took me by his house so I could drop off my stuff and clean up, then he took me out on another date. We went out to dinner and to see a show. It was a nice escape.

I slept much better that night, being safe in Edward's arms. At least I didn't have to worry about injuring him too badly.

When I awoke the next morning, I noticed the bed was empty. I looked around, and turned off the alarm clock. I heard noises out in the main part of the apartment and climbed out of bed to make my way out there.

When I walked out of the bedroom door, I thought I was going to pass out. I was in complete shock. I walked out to the sight of Edward setting the table and Emmett by the stove cooking. I shook my head to try and wake myself up, but when I opened my eyes, nothing had changed.

"Good morning sleepy head. We thought we would make breakfast before school today." Edward told me, as he walked over to pull me into a hug and give me a small kiss.

I looked back over to Emmett to see what he was making. All I could see was two aerosol cans near him. One I could tell by the label was Pam. The other, which was a bit bigger with a tan label, I didn't recognize. I saw him shake it, flip it upside down and spray it into the pan that was on the stove.

"Em, what are you making, are you cooking, whip cream?" I asked, still completely puzzled.

"No, silly," He said as he grabbed the can and turned toward me, displaying it so I could see that label. "It's 'Pancake Batter in a Can', it's awesome, and easy." He explained, looking so proud of himself.

"Pancake in a can? Really? How the hell does that work?" I asked, still in a bit of shock. I walked over to the pan and sure enough, there was a pancake in it.

Still in disbelief, and a little unsure if the things would even be any good, we sat down to the table, with plates full of canned pancakes. I very timidly cut a small piece off of one, and ate it. Holy shit it was good.

After devouring my pancakes, I took a shower and headed to Edward's room to get ready while waiting for him.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

BPOV

School overall went pretty well the rest of the week. I was enjoying being in class with Emmett and Edward, especially given the alternative. I didn't get anymore letters from James, or have any one on one encounters with his brother, whose name I still can't remember. Not like I really spent much time getting to know him in Phoenix.

I did have a few long distance sights of him though. I noticed while walking to classes, if I looked around at the crowd of students I could always see him staring at me from somewhere off in the distance. He always had the same smug smile and a look that said 'I've got a secret'. It became more and more frequent throughout the week, to where anytime there were more then 10 people around us, he would be there. It was almost like playing a sick version of 'Where's Waldo', just now it was 'Where's the Stalker'.

I only mentioned it to Edward a few times in the beginning, but since nothing else was happening, and I could tell he got really tense and angry each time, I decided to stop informing him. I think he still knew the guy was there each time, but I figured he didn't need me to keep voicing it.

I was glad it was Friday afternoon finally. The boys decided they still wanted me to stay with them. I think mostly though, Edward just enjoyed sharing a bed with me, and having me close by. In all honesty, I doubt it would take him much effort to convince Emmett that I should still stay. I knew Emmett loved having me there, who else would cook for him like I do, and he still thought I was safer there.

By time the weekend came, the girls claimed someone kept knocking on the door at their apartment at weird hours then leaving before they could open the door. Seeing as they were all losing sleep due to the hours of this prank, they decided it would be better to stay with Jasper for awhile. I hated that everyone had to move around and be put out due to something in regards to me.

I figured whoever it was might be looking for me, and waiting for me to answer the door. I tried to convince the boys to just let me go back so we could put an end to this, then everyone could go back to their normal lives, but they didn't seem too fond of that idea.

Finally Saturday came around and I had to go to work. It was kind of nice being able to go somewhere without any body guards. They thought a bookstore was a safe enough place for me to be. I was feeling lucky they finally agreed with me on something. Though I have been known to be wrong before.

I made it in to work early, just ready to be out of the house. I immediately threw myself into work, trying not to think about anything that had happened in the past week. We had gotten a shipment of new books in, so I let myself get completely involved in putting out all the books. Randomly through the day as I was putting the books on the shelves, I would think I saw James' face on the other side of the bookshelves looking at me. Then I swore I saw him in the back corner of the store, and hiding behind a display near the counter. I was starting to feel paranoid thinking I saw him everywhere I turned.

Finally the end of my shift came around, and I got to leave. I went into the back to clock out, and when I came back out, I saw James' brother leaning against a bookshelf a few feet from where I had to walk to exit the store. I wrapped my arms around myself, keeping my purse and jacket tight to my body. I rushed past him and could hear him chuckle a little. I tried to ignore him as best I could, trying to shake the paranoia that he was there for me.

I practically ran to Edward's apartment, just wanting to be somewhere safe. I got back and found that the boys had gone out. I still didn't have a key, and didn't want to disturb them from whatever they were doing.

I decided to run by my apartment since I needed to get some more clothes, seeing as I would be spending an extended amount of time at the boys' apartment. I made it there about 20 minutes later. As I walked up the steps I sent a text to Edward letting him know where I was, and that I would be home soon.

I made it to my door and got my keys out and unlocked it. I let myself in, looking around to see that everything looked exactly the same. I don't know why I expected it to look any different, I had only been away from it for a little over a week.

I made it to my room and almost stopped dead when I walked into it. When you first walk in, you wouldn't know anything was wrong. Alice's side of the room, which is what you see first, was still immaculate. Not a thing out of place. However, my side looked like a tornado had been through it. I am by no means a messy person, so it obviously wasn't from me. My clothes had been thrown all around, my dresser drawers were opened, and some of them pulled out completely. My lamp on my nightstand was broken on the floor. The nightstand itself was a complete mess, everything askew, and the drawer was on my bed, tipped over. My closet was in shambles, and my books thrown about.

I couldn't tell that anything was missing, and I didn't see any letters or notes left behind.

Completely forgetting my original objective for coming to the apartment, I ran out, trying to believe it wasn't real.

Why would anybody go through all of my stuff, and leave everything else in my house alone? I couldn't fathom what somebody would want with my belongings. I didn't really have anything of value. Plus it looked like everything was still there. Not that I really stayed long enough to check it out thoroughly.

I made it back to the boys apartment and they were both home by that time. I tried to stay as calm as possible so I wouldn't get them worked up before I got to tell them what happened.

I took a moment outside the door to take a few deep breaths to relax, I kept reminding myself that I was home now, and I was safe. Whether it was James or whoever in my apartment, they couldn't get me here.

Once I got a little closer to normal, I walked in the door.

Edward was in the kitchen, and Emmett on the couch, playing video games. I walked in and Edward came right over and wrapped me in his arms. He kissed the top of my head and leaned back just enough to look at my face while he talked to me.

"Are you okay? You look a little out of it. Where is your stuff, I thought you went back to get the rest of your stuff?" He asked, concern apparent on his face.

"I'll be fine" I answered. "I did go back to get stuff, but someone beat me there. My stuff was all over the place. The rest of the apartment was fine, but my stuff was spread all over my side of the room. Everything was taken apart. Dresser drawers were scattered, everything taken out of them. My closet was torn apart. Now Alice will probably want to go shopping, and I really don't want to think about having to go out right now."

"We can handle Alice, she won't be a problem, I promise." He started. "As far as your apartment goes. You do not go back there by yourself, you hear me? You make sure you get me or Emmett before you even think about going there. We will get the rest of your stuff, then you are staying here with us until we can get a new apartment. I don't want you living there anymore. Okay?"

"I'll be fine, I can stay there. Whoever it is, is gone now. It shouldn't be a problem. I don't want to be a burden on you and Emmett and take more of the already cramped space. Really, I will be fine there."

"No, you won't. I was already looking at other apartments to move into. I was going to ask you to move in with me. Not just because of this, but I wanted to see if you would like to move in with me. I had been planning since before this whole stalker thing happened. Granted, that did help progress my search along, but I still wanted it all the same. Rose was planning on moving in with Emmett if we moved out, and from what I hear, Jasper found him and Alice a house nearby. If you'd rather not live with me yet, I understand, and we can figure out something else if needed, I just really don't want you back there. Especially now that it's been broken into."

"You really want me to move in with you? You have been planning it already?" I asked, a tear forming in my eyes. He just kissed my head and nodded at me. "Of course I want to live with you. I love sleeping in your arms every night, and having that extra time with you. Why wouldn't I want to live with you?" I asked, my voice showing my disbelief.

"I didn't know if it would be moving too fast. I know we usually stay the night with each other, but I didn't know if you were ready for that next step already, if you wanted to be with me that much." He replied.

"Edward Anthony, don't give me that crap. You know I love you, and that I only want you, and as much of you as I can get. I would like to live with you, I only feel safe when I'm with you. Nothing will change that. I told you I was ready to be with you, and I mean that for more then what I said it for at the time. I didn't think you would really want me with you that much, so I guess we both were wrong. So, on a different note, do you think you guys could come with me after dinner to get my stuff? I would really just like to be done with it. I also don't want to leave it a mess for the girls."

"Yeah, no problem. You know we're here for you little sis. Plus, it's only fair since we will probably need help getting Rosie out of there when the time comes." Emmett replied. We all relaxed a bit after that.

Edward kissed me again and went back to the kitchen to finish cooking. I followed behind him to help out.

Dinner went well, we kept the conversation light, which is pretty easy when you consider that Emmett had a huge contribution to it.

We finished dinner and decided to head back to my old apartment. Before we left we called Jasper to let him know what happened, and to not let the girls go there alone.

We finally got there and got in the door. The boys went straight to my room to see the damage, I slowly followed in behind them, not really wanted to go back into it anymore. It just felt so defiled now, just dirty and weird to be in there. It didn't feel like my place anymore. Any bit of security I had felt here was gone now. We came up with a plan to get my stuff and get out as quick as possible. Edward went into my bathroom to gather all my stuff from there, and Emmett went down the hall to Rose's room. I grabbed a bag and went into the living room to gather my movies and books that I had put out there.

The house was pretty quiet, except for a shuffle here and there, and the low sound of movement as everyone gathered what they were after.

I was almost done in the living room when I heard someone come up behind me. I could feel Edward getting closer to me, like he was trying to sneak up on me.

"Did you get everything you needed?" I asked him, letting him know he failed at sneaking up on me.

"I'm about to" I heard a voice say. That voice definitely wasn't my Edward. Before I could turn around I felt a hand come around my waist and one go over my mouth, as I was pulled back into a hard chest. I could feel him lean his head down by my neck, and his breath on my ear, as he started talking again. "I'm finally about to get what you've owed me this whole time. I'm lucky my brother was so kind to let me know that he saw you in his class. Without that I probably wouldn't have found you again. It's not nice to leave without paying up on your old debts, and I know you definitely didn't pay up to me." He said, leaning in closer to my neck. I could feel his lips start to graze my neck.

In a moment of clarity, I raised my leg up, and managed to kick over the DVD player from the TV stand. It came down in a crash.

"You missed. If you were trying to hit me you failed miserably." He stated with a chuckle.

I shook my head, and could already feel the sides of my lips pull up under his hand.

Next thing I heard was a loud whack, and James cry out in pain. His arms still around me, he fell to the floor, bringing me with him. I shrieked at the sudden change of position. Before I could hit the floor, I felt Edward's arms wrap around me and pull me to him. I buried into him, but managed to sneak a look at the situation. James was on the floor, cursing under his breath, holding his head, and Emmett was standing to the side of him, holding a baseball bat and wearing a very big smile.

"Emmett, here" I heard Edward say in a low angry voice, then he pushed me toward him and Emmett took me in his arms, crushing me to him.

Edward started yelling many different colorful things at James, while throwing punches and kicks into the mix. I buried my face into Emmett, not wanting to see what was happening, but selfishly not wanting to stop it yet either. After everything that fucktard pervert put me through, I was happy he was getting what he deserved. Though I was afraid that he would go to far, when it came to James, especially with how overprotective he is of me.

"Em, call the cops" I looked up and said to my big brother.

"No, he deserves to die for what he did to you." He responded, his face looking more serious than I have ever seen it before.

"I know, but that's enough. If we get them here now, we won't be in trouble. We can claim this much as self-defense. It won't be that easy if James is dead. They won't be as quick to let that go."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He replied. He let go of me and went over to grab Edward off of James. It took some effort, even for Emmett, to pull him away.

"Edward, go get your girl. I'll call the cops and deal with this now."

Edward looked hesitant for a moment, but then looked over to me, and upon seeing my worried, and tear-streaked face, made up his mind and rushed over to me. He pulled me into the tightest hug he could manage and leaned down to kiss my head and rest his chin on it.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Why are you asking me that? I should be asking you that question. I'm better now. I got to get some anger out, and help out my girl." He replied.

I looked around his shoulder to get a glimpse of James. He was knocked out, blood covering his face. His lips were busted, he had a lot of blood coming from his nose, he had cuts by his eyes and cheeks. That was all I could see, but I had a feeling that wasn't the half of it.

I helped Edward clean the blood off of his hands, trying to avoid breathing the whole time so I wouldn't pass out. Then we went to wait in the hall for the cops to show up.

The cops showed up shortly after. We gave them a shorter rundown of what happened, we didn't want to get too technical and put the focus on Edward too much.

They took statements from the three of us and we gave them the letter that James had sent me. They loaded James up on a stretcher and took him out of the apartment. We talked to them a little longer and finally they left. We went back to my room to gather the rest of my clothes.

On the way out, Emmett stopped and turned to me. "So, why did you kick over the DVD player, of all the things you could have done?"

"Well, I couldn't really scream, considering he had his hand over my mouth, and kicking him wouldn't have done much good in the long run. Struggling would be pretty much useless, I figured that one out last time. So, I kicked something in reach that would make a lot of noise. I knew you two would come out running if you heard something fall." I responded.

"Huh, good call, squirt." Emmett replied.

We made our way to the car and loaded my stuff into it. I curled up into the passenger seat and rested my head on the window. I vaguely felt Edward's hand rest on my knee, but didn't move.

I kept replaying the whole James thing over in my head. I kept seeing everything from junior year, to all the recent events since I ran into his brother in my math class. I could feel my previous calmness I had during the situation starting to leave. I was just being left with the panic and fear that I should have felt then.

As the tears started falling from my eyes, I heard my cell phone go off. I tried to ignore it, but Edward managed to take it from my pocket and answered it for me.

"Hello, Chief Swan?" I heard him say. I turned my head quickly to see him. I couldn't believe he answered my dad's phone call, I thought he was afraid of my dad, then again, maybe that's why he did it. Maybe he thought my dad would find out if he didn't answer.

"She's doing okay. She's right here, hold on..." he replied.

I took the phone from him and held it up to my ear, while putting my head back against the window. "Hey dad."

"Bells, what's this I hear about some stalker attacking you in your apartment?"


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

BPOV

"Bells, what's this I hear about some stalker attacking you in your apartment?" My dad asked when I answered the phone.

How could he possibly know what happened, especially so soon. I hadn't even made it home yet from the incident. Well, strike that. I was sitting in the parking garage with Edward still in the driver's seat, glancing at me curiously every few moments.

"Dad, how did you know?" I asked the most obvious question.

"I have my ways. So, explain what happened before I hop on the next flight and drag you home where I know you're safe." He responded.

"You don't need to fly out here, and I'm safe now, everything is fine. I had an issue with a guy when I lived in Phoenix, his brother was in my class here, and apparently told the guy. So he made his way here to bother me some more. He's been taken care of though, so there is no longer a problem."

"Taken care of is one way of putting it, I heard he was rather messed up, though they weren't sure of the extent of his injuries yet. They will know more before I get there though."

"What do you mean 'before you get here'? Why are you coming here. It's handled, as in no more trouble. You really don't need to come here." I told him.

My tears had subsided during the conversation with my father, to be replaced by another type of panic. I really wasn't ready to have Charlie get reacquainted with Edward, especially with how their prior meetings had gone. Something tells me Charlie wouldn't be all too fond of finding out that I'm living with Edward now either.

"I'm coming over to visit. I want to make sure everything is fine since all of this happened. They're not too sure how the guys brother will react to the condition James is in. I want to make sure he doesn't bug you. Though you may not have told me the details of your situation, you did confide in the local cops, who informed me of exactly what is going on. I need to make sure for myself you are safe over there."

"Dad, I appreciate the whole 'looking out for my daughter' kick, but really, I'm safe. I have protectors here, as you may have apparently noticed. I'm not really capable of doing that kind of damage to James, so no worries, I'm well protected."

"Yeah, I got that, but I need to make sure for myself. Plus, we need to make sure that your apartment is safe so you don't have to worry about someone else breaking in. I know how to make it so no one can get in." He responded.

"I'm not living there anymore, I have somewhere else to stay," I told him in a low voice, almost afraid for him to ask where.

Before he could respond, I heard a voice that sounded like it was from an intercom. My dad waited for a moment till it ended, then returned back to me.

"Sorry Bells, got to go, see you in a few hours." He stated, then hung up.

"Shit" I muttered and hung up my phone.

"What's wrong love, what did your dad say?" Edward asked, turning in his seat to look at me.

"Well, he knows about the attack, and that James' brother is still around. Oh, and he is on his way here. I think he is boarding a plane now. He doesn't know I'm staying with you, much less dating you. I'm not positive how he will react to that." I said incredulously.

Edward got out of the car finally, and I looked to the backseat to see that Emmett had already left. My door was opened and I looked out it to see Edward standing there with his hand held out to me.

I took his hand and he helped me out of the car, then we made our way to the trunk to get the rest of my stuff out of it. We made it upstairs and into the apartment, setting my stuff down in our room. As soon as I had put my stuff down, I got on the internet and searched for the flights coming in. It didn't take long to find the flight coming in from Seattle, which would be the carrying Charlie. I wrote down the arrival time so I knew when to be there. I figured to hopefully lighten the shock of everything my dad will soon be finding out, I should at least pick him up. That and he would end up going to my old apartment anyways. That wouldn't do a whole lot of good.

I let Edward know of my plans, in which he insisted on driving me, then we laid down to try and get some rest before we had to leave. Who knew walking into a ransacked apartment, then returning to it, and being more or less attacked could be so tiring.

I fell asleep with tears in my eyes, wrapped in the only real safety I had. It didn't take long for the nightmares to resurface. Only now they were accompanied by images of what could have happened if the boys weren't there to save me.

I woke up sobbing and pleading for him not to hurt me. I felt the strong warm arms of Edward tighten their grip around me, and pull me closer into his chest. He started humming a growingly familiar tune to me, which calmed me down almost instantly, in a way only Edward could manage.

Finally settling down, I glanced at the clock and realized we only had about half an hour before we had to head to the airport.

"Come shower with me?" I asked, looking into the green pools that always captivated me. "I'm not really ready to be alone yet, especially being naked, so soon after having that dream."

"You know I can't refuse being in a shower with you. As long as you're sure you want me in there with you. I can stay clothed if it makes it better." He responded.

"No, it'll be fine, thank you though. I'm sure you could use the shower anyway after the scuffle you got into." I offered, throwing him a small smirk. "Have I told you thank you yet for that. Thank you for being there for me, I can't even think of what I would've done if you guys weren't there, or what would've been done to me.." I trailed off, saying the last part in almost a whisper.

"Bella," Edward started, hooking his finger under my chin, making me look him in the face. "Don't even think about that, love. We will always be there for you. I will not let anything happen to you. I love you too much to let any harm come to you. I hope you know that by now."

"Yeah, I do, thank you. I love you, Edward." I stated, closing the distance between us and leaving a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I love you too Bella." He replied, helping me get off the bed, and leading me into the bathroom.

We took an innocent shower, he took sometime to massage my back, and scalp while shampooing it. I thought him washing my hair was a little weird at first, but he said he wanted to help me relax, and that it was. Afterward, I told him he could do that anytime. It's much more enjoyable and relaxing when someone else does it.

We grabbed a snack and headed to the airport, leaving Emmett behind to make sure the apartment was presentable. I wasn't sure if my dad was going to stay in a hotel, or want to stay with us, so we made sure everything was ready for him just in case. I doubt he was going to let me out of his sight anytime soon. He can be a little overprotective, him and Edward are alike in that way.

We made it to the airport about ten minutes before the plane was scheduled to land, and hung out in the baggage claim to wait. I wanted to give Edward words of advice for dealing with my father, but really, I had no clue what to tell him. What do you tell a guy to prepare him for meeting someone who's main memory of him was defiling his fifteen year old daughter, his only daughter. Not much preparation you can do for that. Plus, Edward was polite already when it came to adults, he was raised to be.

Before I realized how much time had passed, I felt Edward tug my hand and pull me into a standing position, just in time to see Charlie walking down through the corridor. I stood just in front of Edward, hoping to be seen first so my dad wouldn't be instantly aggravated. It seemed to work, for a moment.

Charlie walked towards us, not really looking anywhere in particular. He happened to look up in our direction when he was about twenty feet away. His eyes met mine first, and I could see his features automatically soften. Then he looked just over my head, to see Edward standing there, with his arms around my waist. Almost as quickly as he had relaxed, he was tense again, his eyes narrowing at Edward.

Just as he made it over to us, Edward let go of my waist and I put my arms around my father's waist to give him a hug. I felt his arms go to my shoulders to hug me back, but noticed his eyes never left Edward.

"Hi dad, how was your flight?" I decided to start with, not thinking I needed to start with introductions, I'm pretty sure he remembered Edward just fine.

"It was fine, I didn't expect to see you here, especially not with company." He replied.

"Yeah, I'm not staying at the old apartment, so I didn't want you to head over there, and Edward wanted to bring me, so I wouldn't be alone." I said in a shaky voice.

"Oh, well, I guess that was nice of him. But why didn't one of your friends bring you? Whatever happened to Emmett?" He asked, still very tense.

I went back to stand next to Edward, grabbing his left hand. He raised his right to my father, so he could shake his hand.

"Hello Chief Swan, it's nice to see you again." He stated, trying to be civil.

"I don't know if nice is the word I would use." Charlie said, not acknowledging Edward's attempt to shake hands.

"Dad, be nice, please. You are going to be seeing a lot of Edward. He is my boyfriend, and I'm staying with him since it isn't safe at my old place." I half stated, half pleaded with my father, while trying to walk toward the luggage belt.

We made our way over, still getting dirty looks from Charlie. "Why do you have to stay with Edward, don't you have any girl friends? Or like I said earlier, what about Emmett, if you're looking for a bodyguard I think he would be better." He wondered, while grabbing his duffel from the conveyor belt.

"I'm staying with Edward because that's who I feel safe with. Yes I have girl friends, but they lived at the apartment with me, so they are staying with one of their boyfriends, and Emmett is Edward's roommate, so technically I'm staying with him as well." I replied, getting rather irritated.

We all remained quiet while heading out to the car. We put my father's bag into the trunk, and climbed into the car.

"You are welcome to stay with us if you'd like sir, or if you would rather, I can take you to a hotel." Edward said, looking into the rear view mirror at my father.

"Since it's so late, I guess I will stay with you if you are sure you don't mind" Charlie replied.

"Only if you are on good behavior dad, it wouldn't be very nice to continue being rude to the host." I stated, turning in my seat to look at my dad.

"Fine," he stated, then slumped in his seat like a pouting child. I couldn't help but to laugh a little at him at that moment. We made the trip back to the house in total silence.

When we got back to the apartment, Edward kept with his gentleman ways, and helped me from the car, then took Charlie's bag and carried it up to the apartment. I was very proud of him in that moment.

When we entered the apartment, I was almost surprised to see Emmett still up. I figured he would have went to bed some time ago. I was also surprised to see the work he put in to setting things up for my dad. I knew Emmett liked my dad, and it was obvious my dad liked Emmett as well. They both bonded over a need to protect me. It seemed for awhile they talked to each other more then I had talked to my dad. They would always keep up with each other, and pass stories of me back and forth. I think Charlie saw him as the son he never had. I was always glad that Emmett was able to fit into our family so easily. I think it was a good arrangement for all of us.

We all went in to settle down, and I saw that the coffee table had been moved to make way for an air mattress. It was even already set up with linens, a blanket and pillows. I was almost impressed with the knowledge that Emmett could even properly make a bed. I had never seen his made.

"All this time we had an air mattress, and you made me sleep on the couch? So it all comes out. Now I know how you really feel about me Em." I said almost incredulously to Emmett.

"I just found it in the hall closet. I was looking for a blanket and I saw it on the floor. Sorry Bella." He replied, almost looking ashamed.

"It's fine Em, I'm just messing with you, I didn't mind the couch."

With that Emmett turned to my dad and they shook hands and started catching up. My dad finally seemed to be relaxing a little bit.

After a few minutes of catching up, I involuntary let out a yawn.

"Come on, it's time for bed" Edward said, turning towards me, and putting an arm around my waist.

"Alright, just let me say goodnight." I replied. He nodded and said goodnight to Charlie and Emmett and made his way to his room.

"Goodnight dad, we will talk more in the morning." I said, while walking over to him to give him a hug. After we let go, I turned and headed to the direction of Edward's room.

"Um, Bells, where are you going?" My dad asked.

"To bed, like I said. Why? What's wrong?"

"You not really sharing a room with him, are you? I thought you said you slept on the couch." I could see the aggravation starting up in him again. I really wasn't in the mood for another argument, much less anymore stress to fill this day.

"I slept on the couch when I stayed her after getting kicked out of my dorm. Then I left here to live with the girls. But since I started staying here again, I slept in the room with Edward. It's not a big deal." I informed him. Trying to hurry through this conversation.

"Damn right it's a big deal. What are you thinking Bella? You shouldn't be sharing beds with boys. You'll give him the wrong idea. Not to mention he already has taken advantage of you. What's to stop him from doing it again? You're just making it that much easier on him." He was raising his voice now.

How could he have ever thought Edward would take advantage of me. He has been nothing but a perfect gentleman with me.

Something in me snapped. I was tired of listening to the accusations of my father. Add that with all the other stress I've been dealing with lately, and especially the events of today, I was done.

"Charlie, give us a break won't you. He is not taking advantage of me, he never has. What your worried about, and what you remember, that was as much my decision as it was his, if not more. I'm done listening to you give him crap about it. Now, I am going to bed, and yes, I mean in that bedroom with my boyfriend. You will just have to deal with it. I've had a rough day, along with a rough couple weeks. I just want to be where I know I'm safe, which happens to be with him. I will talk to you in the morning. Goodnight."

With that I turned toward the room, after catching a glimpse of the shock on his face, and found my shelter in Edward's arms.

I stripped down to my underwear and tank top, and climbed in bed with my love. I snuggled into him as close as I could get and buried my head into the crook of his neck. He wrapped me in his arms, pulling me even closer and placed a few kisses on my head.

"Are you okay love? I heard the exchange with your father." He said, his voice laced with concern and worry.

"I'll be fine. I'm sorry. I've just had enough for today. I couldn't deal with him being overbearing right now. I will straighten everything up in the morning. I just want to lay here with you and sleep, if that's okay."

"Of course, love. Anything you want." He caught my lips in a slow, sweet kiss, then dropped his head to his pillow, resting his chin on mine. He started humming the tune I've come to love, and rubbed my back until I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up, still wrapped in warm, perfect arms, with the sounds of laughter coming from the living room. I snuggled a little more into Edward, relishing his warmth, and the lighter feeling today brought with it.

I was rewarded by feeling a light kiss on my temple, to look up and see stunning green eyes looking back into my own brown ones. It still amazed me sometimes that he could take my breathe away with such a simple act.

After staying like that for awhile, we managed to extricate ourselves from the comfort of the bed, and showered and got ready for the day. I was a little apprehensive of how it would be with my dad, especially after my episode last night, but hopefully he will understand. Or at least, maybe Emmett talked Edward up a bit, that might be the only thing that saves Edward from permanently being on my dad's list of 'guys I need to find ways to lock up for life'.

He started that list when I started dating in high school. Edward has been at the top of it for sometime. Luckily it dropped a few pegs since I moved away, and my dad didn't have to interact with him anymore. Though I'm almost positive he is back at the top. His name is most likely Sharpie'd in and laminated since my dad is so sure Edward will never regain his trust.

We made our way out to the kitchen to make our cereal and took our places at the table with the others. We sat in peaceful quiet for a bit, not really knowing what to say. After a bit, my dad finally broke the silence.

"So, I got a call from the chief of police here this morning. They found out the extent of James' injuries." He stated, glancing up at me, then to each of the boys.

"Oh, what did they say?" I asked hesitantly, sneaking a glance at Edward. I could see him tense immediately. I wasn't sure if he was nervous, or just angry at hearing the name again, and the events that go with it.

"Well, he had a hairline fracture on his skull, along with a moderate concussion, but they say that will heal fine, it shouldn't give any complications." He started, as I glanced at Emmett, seeing a small smile playing on his lips. "He also had a broken nose, and jaw. Along with a few cracked ribs. He also had a lot of bruising over most of his body. Luckily no major damage was done, otherwise that would start them with a more intense questioning. Since everything will eventually heal and no life altering injuries happened, they are fine with the statements they got yesterday, and shouldn't have to bug you again." He stated, with what sounded like relief in his voice.

"I guess that's good then, though I wish it were a lot worse." Edward said, the last part almost to himself.

My dad looked over to him, first in disbelief, then with almost an appreciation. It was an interesting change in his demeanor.

"Yeah, well, I guess I should say thanks for taking care of my little girl. For protecting her." Charlie said, glancing at Emmett, but mostly focusing on Edward.

I looked to Emmett, with questioning eyes, only to get a smile and a small nod for an answer. Apparently I was right in thinking Emmett would say good things about Edward to Charlie. Hopefully that will help him when some points over with my dad.

"So, dad, that reminds me. How did you hear about everything so quickly?" I asked.

"Oh, that, well, when you decided to come out here for college, I got in touch with the chief of police, and we became quick friends. I asked him to keep an eye out for you, since you seem to attract trouble, and manage to get injured easily. So he promised to make me aware of any time you were involved with the police or hospital." He answered, nervously.

"Dad, I'm fine here. You don't have to keep looking out for me. As you can see I also have my own protection here as well. You can call off your drones. I will let you know if anything happens. I would hope you would know that."

"Well, I can't be sure. You failed to mention anything that took place in Phoenix, which I'm still waiting to hear the whole story to. Also, this way I can find out right away, otherwise I wouldn't have known about this for who knows how long."

"Fine, whatever works for you. So, what are our plans for the day? Anyone have any ideas?" I asked, looking for a change of subject.

"Well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to look at new apartments with me today. But we can wait if you'd like. However, Charlie, if you'd like to go with us, maybe you could give some input on safety items we should look at, or we could do. I know I would appreciate that, as I'm sure Bella would as well." Edward stated.

"That would be great" I said, smiling at my perfect boyfriend, and noticing the smile that was actually gracing my father's face as well. Looks like dad might be making a new list, maybe Edward's name won't be on it at all.

"Sure," Charlie started, "thanks for inviting me along. I might feel better knowing that Bella's, I mean, yours and Bella's apartment will be a safe place for her."

Shortly after, we left Emmett's and went off in search of a place of our own. I'm just glad to think that all in all, maybe Edward and Charlie will be able to get along after all.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

BPOV

It's been a month since the attack. So much has happened since then. Edward and I got an apartment. It was a whole new adventure apartment shopping with my father. I was lucky though, Edward and Charlie seemed to get along pretty well after that first day. Emmett had spoken to Charlie, in favor of Edward, and it seemed to go pretty far with him.

We spent most of that day apartment hunting. Most of them weren't safe enough, or didn't have enough efficiencies, but eventually, we found the perfect one. Edward loved it because it was upper scale, he had gotten used to being a bit spoiled, and wanted me to get used to it as well, and they both loved that it was gated, it had a doorman, alarms in the apartment and camera's everywhere, except for in the apartment itself. Though Edward did make a comment of setting one up in the bedroom. Luckily my dad didn't catch that bit.

My dad helped us move in what we were bringing, which wasn't much. Edward left most of the furniture in the old apartment, saying that we would get all new stuff for the new place. So we got a beautiful dark wood bedroom set, with a four poster king size bed, we also got a huge TV and a couch that will soon be moved into the study.

Edward called his mom when we acquired the new place, and she insisted on coming over and decorating it for us. So the rest of the apartment has been completely empty for the past month. Except for the boxes, of course.

I was excited to see Esme and Carlisle again. I saw them over the winter holidays, but since I had went years before that without seeing them, and they were pretty much my second parents, I figured I was allowed to still miss them, I had a lot of time to make up for.

We had already signed everyone up for their help later. We knew we would be coming back with everything we needed. Esme was very talented at decorating, so I had no doubt that we would find it all today. Now, I know I'm the last person to willingly go shopping, but I offered to go with Esme, just so we could chat and catch up. She used to be the mother figure I needed in my life, I used to be able to talk to her about pretty much anything. I even talked to her when I realized I had feelings for Edward. I don't think I had ever seen her happier than she was at that moment.

I was brought out of my memories by a knock on the door. I tore myself away from my spot on the couch, buried into Edward's side and went to answer the door. I pulled it open to see the warm, happy faces of Carlisle and Esme. I stepped aside to let them in and gave them each hugs. Esme was already tearing up a bit.

"Oh Bella, sweetie, how are you? I'm so happy for you two, getting a place together. I always knew you two would end up together." She went on while holding me in a tight hug to her.

"Thank you Esme, I always hoped we would as well. Thank you for coming out here to help us too." I replied, letting her go and giving Carlisle a hug.

"Bella, good to see you again. How have you been?" He asked.

"I've been well, thank you. How are you?" I replied.

"I'm good as well." He stated and made his way in to see his son.

I showed Esme around the apartment so that she could see what she had to work with. Then we got our stuff together, said bye to the boys and left them to catch up while we made our way to the furniture store. I offered for us to do it the next day, so she could relax after traveling, but she refused. She said she wanted to get a move on it, then just enjoy the rest of the time they had here. Plus she wanted to spend some alone time with me as well so we could chat.

Usually that would scare a girl, knowing that their boyfriend's mom wanted to talk to them alone, but fortunately, it wasn't like that for us.

We went through a few stores, looking over everything. She would point out pieces, state where she wanted them in the house, then ask if I liked it. I always agreed, she really did have great taste. She picked pieces that suited both Edward and myself. She picked mostly neutrals, browns, tans, then would get accent pieces in either emerald green or midnight blue.

"So Bella, how have you been? I heard what happened, I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that." She started.

"I've been much better now, I'm just glad its all over with. No more worrying about what could happen. That eases my mind quite a bit. Between that and Edward, I've been great. He really makes me feel safe. I'm so glad to have him back in my life." I tell her honestly.

"I'm so glad he has you too. He's back to his old self finally, just improved. Thank you for getting him back to that. He was such a mess after you were taken from us. He wouldn't do anything. He was either angry or depressed all the time. His classes started to fail. Luckily I was able to dangle Dartmouth in front of him, to get him to focus on school. He always held hope that you would be there, then he could finally have you back in his life. It was a struggle to get him to do anything else though. He wouldn't talk to anyone else, he barely ate for awhile, and wouldn't go near his piano. He said his muse was gone, he had no inspiration to play or compose. It was such a sad sight to see. Eventually, near the end of high school, he started being around people more and more, then I realized he was only around girls. I knew what he was doing, I'm sure he thought he was hiding it better, but I know my son. He was trying to fill the void you left. I knew it wouldn't work. I even told him that, but he wouldn't listen. He would obtain girlfriends, but wouldn't pay any mind to them, they were just place holders. It broke my heart to see him like that, doing those things. He barely smiled, or really showed any happiness.

When he got the acceptance letter for Dartmouth though, I saw two things I hadn't seen since you left. I saw a small smile on his face, and hope in his eyes. I don't know how you two managed to go to the same school for three years and not see each other. If it weren't for him being cramped for time and going to a different coffee shop, who knows how much more time it would have taken. But either way, I'm just so glad you two did encounter each other. Oh, and good job with the coffee, I would have done the same thing." She told me, laughing a bit at the last sentence.

I knew he said it was hard on him, I just never thought it would hurt him the same way it did me. I also know I should be a little miffed about all the 'placeholders' but I'm not really. I know, in the end, it was me he wanted, and still wants, I can't fault him for trying to find some happiness in the meantime, no matter how misplaced his looking was. For once I finally have real hope too, that he is my happily ever after. I would give all I have for him to be my happy ending.

"Thank you for telling me that Esme. He never told me exactly what he went through. He gave me the vague outline of it. Though I can't blame him, Emmett had to tell him about my 'missing years'. I'm glad we ended up together in the end as well. I hope this is it. I so badly want this to be it for us. I think after all we've been through to get to each other, I think we deserve to be each other's happily ever after. I want to be that for him. I'm know I'm still a bit damaged, and he's been so great with me about it. Always making sure I'm comfortable with our places in our relationship, and what's going on. I just hope he will continue to be that way until I can be exactly what he deserves."

"Oh honey, don't you see? You always have been exactly what he needs. Whatever you are going through, or the two of you will go through, you belong with each other, to each other, always."

"Thank you Esme, so much, for always believing in us. I think you're the only person who constantly held firm to the idea that we would be with each other. I know him and I have even doubted that at times. But you've always held on to that. I'm so happy to have you back too. I've missed you so much." I told her, pulling her into another hug. I was started to feel a bit odd, I've been slightly out of character today, I'll just chalk it up to the arrival of my other mom. I used to always get emotional and sappy when talking to her. I just thought it was a part of being a teen. Apparently I was wrong. It's just that motherly vibe she gives off.

We made it through the rest of the furniture stores in town, and the decorative stores. Then she pulled an Alice and forced me into clothing stores. She said she had to decorate the inside of the closets too, which meant buying Edward and I whatever clothes and shoes we could possibly need. At least she was better than Alice, in the fact that when we went into Victoria's Secret, she didn't throw hundreds of lingerie pieces at me and tell me to try them on. No, she was much more subtle. She would just walk by a piece, then look at me and say 'that one's nice', or 'Edward might like that'. And that would've sounded weird coming from his mom, but I knew when it was just us, she was more my mom then his. She would always do or say things in my best interest. The pieces she pointed out were a bit more classy then the ones Alice would throw at me, and I really did like them. So, I did actually end up purchasing them. Only because they were more for him, then me in the long run. She finally gave in to letting me buy them when I confessed it would be weird to have her buy me nighties for her son to see.

I decided, seeing as Edward and I hadn't gone very far together after the ski trip, that I was going to plan some nice 'private time' for us after his parents leave. It took me a while to recover again after the encounters with James. Edward has been so great about it too. Always giving me space if I need, and holding me close when we sleep. Luckily it didn't take too long to get over, so I've been nightmare free for a couple weeks. I am looking forward to breaking in all the new furniture though. That'll be fun.

The rest of the week with his parents went by great. We had all of our friends come over for a few dinners, and a celebration for finally getting everyone settled in to the new apartments we've went to. Now each couple lives together, finally. I'm glad it all worked out in the end. I'm not a fan of how we got to that decision, but now that it's all settled, and he's locked away, we can fully appreciate the new locations. The gang helped us paint and set up all the decorations, and hang picture frames. Esme and Carlisle got Edward and I, along with the rest, photo shoot times, so we got to go take pictures with just the couples, then group shots. We even got Carlisle and Esme in quite a few. I loved having them hanging around the house. Our new family was better than I could have ever hoped for.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

BPOV

Another month had passed in peace. It was nice to finally feel that things were normal. Nothing had seemed normal in my life since the night my mom moved us to Phoenix. Everything had been up and down since then. I'm making sure I thoroughly enjoy myself this time since I have to option again for a normal and happy life.

That's why, when a few members of the group suggested Florida for spring break, I readily agreed, much to their amazement. That of course, sent Alice into a whole spiel of what shopping we had to do, to get proper party clothes, and swimsuits and what not. I wasn't as ready to agree to that as I was with the trip itself, but went through with it none the less. It was productive to say the least. We got plenty of outfits for all we planned to do in Florida, even new luggage to put in it. We all packed and loaded in the car and headed out to the airport when it was time.

While on the plane we went over our plans for the next week. We knew there was plenty to do in the state, but no one city to hold out interest for the whole week. So we planned to go to the theme parks the first three days there, then go out to the coast and enjoy the beaches. We also found out about the yearly reunion tour One puts on in a small city about an hour and a half southeast of Orlando, so we put that on our trip as well. The city is on the coast, so we would get some beach time there as well.

We landed in Orlando and headed straight over to the car rental place. Edward being true to himself, reserved a Volvo for us. He luckily thought of the space issue for the number of people we had so he got a shiny silver Volvo...SUV. I had to admit, it was a good looking car. I could drive one of these if I decided to have kids at some point. I accidentally said that to Edward.

"Really, you would let me buy you one when you get pregnant?" He asked, with the excitement of a kid on Christmas. It would have been cute if it wasn't a little scary.

"Whoa, who said 'when'. I said if...No confirmation there, just in theory." I told him, trying to hide the nervousness with a laugh. I think I failed.

The truth is, of course I thought about marrying Edward, and I would enjoy having a bunch of mini-Edward's running all over the place. However, I've learned to not get my hopes up too much, so I try not to linger on those thoughts too much. No matter how big the smile on my face gets when I think about it. And now I think Edward knows my secret, because he has spotted the smile and has a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

After securing the vehicle we made our way to the hotel. It was a gorgeous place, and the rooms were amazing. Each couple had their own suite of course. I mean really, none of us wanted to be in close proximity while the other couples were getting on with their nakey time. That was still a bit of a sore subject with me. We have had some sexy time since the ski trip, but by no means in abundance. As much as I want to, and oh yeah, I really want to, I still have a hard time getting past the nerves that came along with all the James interactions. Luckily Edward has been really great with the patience thing, and even though I do please him in other ways, I know he wants the full show maybe even more than I do. If that's possible.

We all got in to our rooms, showered and dressed to go out. We figured we should start off the vacation properly and went out to hit the clubs. We all headed out and went to eat first. We had a great dinner and shortly went out in search of some clubs. We were lucky in our search and found one that looked awesome, and didn't have a mile long line.

We made our way in and the girls immediately grabbed me and brought me out to the dance floor. The boys went to secure us a table and order us some drinks. They put me in the middle, for everyones safety, we all know I'm all sorts of dangerous just walking, dancing is worse. We danced and moved and sang to a few songs before the boys finally couldn't take anymore and joined us. We each paired up with our respective counterpart and enjoyed the next few songs.

Our dancing got a little more interesting as each song progressed. Before I knew it, we were just straight up grinding on each other. I started out with my back to his chest. My hips moving in perfect rhythm with his. My hand made its way up and behind his neck to let my fingers wrap in his hair, while my other hand firmly held his butt or hip against me, and I had my head back to rest on his shoulder.

He hand his hands low to the inside of my hipbones, assuring our constant closeness. He also made sure to keep a good resistance by keeping his hips planted firmly against me while I pressed my butt into him as much as possible. He kept his lips attached to my neck, slowly working his way from the soft spot under my ear, to my pulse point, then to the juncture where it meets my collarbone.

After another few songs I couldn't keep going like that. So I did what I needed to to get Edward's resolve to break and leave the club with me. I turned in his arms, to where I was facing him. I kept one hand wound tightly in his hair, pulling his head to mine, crushing his lips against mine where I kissed them hungrily. I put my other hand on his chest, letting my nails trace over his muscles through the thin buttoned shirt he was wearing. I could feel him shudder every so often with the contact. I put one leg between his, so while moving in time with his hips, I could graze his ever growing arousal with my leg. After I broke the kiss, I trailed my tongue along his neck, just under his jawline, then to the hollow under his ear. By time I made it to his collarbone his breathing was ragged and shallow, and he was starting to grind harder against me, which I matched. Seeing that he was close to losing control, I took advantage of the moment. I let my hand trace his torso south, playing with the muscles a bit on his stomach, feeling them twitch under my touch. I put my hand through the split at the bottom of his shirt under the last button and grazed just above his waistline. His breath hitched and I could see the battle playing in his eyes on whether or not he should let me continue.

I decided to act before he refused my plans. I slid my hand down the front of his pants and boxers, moving my body closer to him to hide the action. I grazed across his entire length first with my fingertips, then back with my nails. He looked at me with awe, his eyes darkening with lust. I made a few more passes, applying more pressure, and letting my hand have more contact with each pass. When the song ended he seemed to have regained enough composure to talk.

"People can probably see what you're doing. We shouldn't be doing this here." He stated quietly, his lips gently brushing my ear as he spoke.

"Well, then either we leave now, or you deal with it, cause I don't really feel like stopping right now." I told him, letting my breath sweep his neck, then back my head up a little bit to give him a small smile. He looked at me again with shock and awe, seeming to have an internal battle in his head. I wrapped my hand around his length, giving him a light squeeze, helping to make up his mind. It worked. He pulled my hand from his pants, grabbed my arm and pulled me quickly to the entrance. We made it outside then he paused. He looked toward an alley, toward the parking lot, then back again. He seemed to figure out what he needed to and pulled me to the side of the building. It was mostly blocked from the road, but not completely hidden to people passing. Good enough for the moment. He pushed me against the wall and immediately had his lips attached to mine. He seemed to be taken over by a savage as he hungrily moved his hands over my body. While mine were skimming his chest and the other firmly laced into his hair, holding the back of his head, his were frantically roaming. It was a rare historical moment where I was more composed then him. But I found out all too soon, that would never last. His hands ran over my sides and stomach, then split up. One went to my back, grazing the small of it, then landing firmly on my ass, and the other went straight for my breast. He palmed and kneaded it, paying it lots of attention. He started to grind into me a bit, making his need for me extremely clear. I wrapped a leg over his hip, and ground back into him. He moaned into my mouth, then picked me up to wrap the other leg around him. I wrapped both legs tightly around his waist to help hold myself up, while he pressed me in between him and the wall, so his hands would still be free.

He found my nipple through my dress and started tugging and rolling it between his fingers. He moved his mouth to my neck, nipping, licking and biting his way around it. After a bit more grinding and groping, he let his hand drop to my thigh. He lifted the hem of my skirt, and let his hands slowly graze over my underwear. I moaned and bit down on his neck, while bucking my hips into him. He ground back into me and moved the side of my panties over and let his fingers run over my wet center. He found my bundle of nerves and rub circles over it for a moment, then dropped his hand to find my entrance. He entered a finger and I moaned out loud, suddenly very thankful that there weren't any people walking by at that moment.

He started pumping his long fingers in and out of me, setting a quick pace. I was bucking my hips against him, making sure to drop my butt a bit, creating a friction against his erection, eliciting moans from him as well. My hand managed to find a way to his button and zipper to his pants, and undid them, letting his throbbing erection break free of its cotton prison. He seemed to take the bait and removed his fingers from my core, but replaced them with the head of his cock. He slowly pushed his way into me, gaining moans from both of us at the feeling. He paused for a few seconds, letting me adjust. Once I was good, I started writhing against him, letting him know it was okay to move. He pulled almost all the way out, then quickly thrust back into me.

We continued that way, with a fast and hard rhythm. Nonsense was pouring from my mouth by way of indeterminable words, moans and noises. He kept his to a minimal by keeping his lips locked to any part of my skin he could get to. I tightened my grip on him with my legs, and pulled his head closer to me, trying to get him deeper. He kept one hand firmly grabbing my ass, moving me along with him, and the other came to where we were connected as he started roughly rubbing circles on my clit. I could feel my walls tightening and knew I was close. As I felt myself fall over the edge, I leaned up and bit Edward's neck, making him fall over with me. We slowed our thrusts, riding out our orgasm. He gently placed me back on the ground, once he was sure I would be able to stand on my own.

"Well, that was fun." I stated once I had remembered how to breathe properly.

"That it was. So what was with the sudden urge?" He asked.

"I don't know, maybe I like the thrill of being out." I replied.

"Hmm, So, you think that was enough to hold you over till we get to the car?" He asked, grabbing my hand again and dragging me to the backseat of the Volvo.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

BPOV

Once we were done in the Volvo, we decided to head back into the club to find the others. We spent a few minutes re-dressing and I had to straighten my hair a bit, his was useless trying to fix, not that you'd notice much of a difference anyways. We finally gathered our stuff and unlocked the door to head out. I opened the door and he was right behind me. As I opened the door, I stopped suddenly, and my face went so red it was almost purple.

"Whats wrong?" Edward asked, noticing my hesitation, not looking out the door yet.

"We can't take you two anywhere, can we?" My little pixie of a friend asked. Edward looked out the door stunned, his face gaining a bit of a pink color.

"I'm think I'm scarred for life. Dude, I told you I never wanted to catch you two doing that. It's just wrong seeing my old roommate and my little sis going at it." Emmett stated.

"Well, no one said you had to watch." I stated, finally finding my voice. I was staring into the faces of my four best friends. All of them standing right outside of the Volvo. Lord only knows how long they've been there. I'm sure they heard quite enough though. Nothing about what Edward and I had done in there was quiet.

"We were all looking for you so we could leave, but you were no where to be found. So I came out here to get my phone to call you guys. Then I saw the car shift, and thought someone was trying to steal it. So I ran up to it, to hear names being screamed and something that sounded like a wounded animal. I banged on the window, but I guess I'm not surprised you two didn't hear it. Then the others came up, so we just waited till you two were done. Oh, and by the way, for the rest of the trip, you two have to sit on that bench. None of us are sitting there after what you guys did." Jasper stated.

"That's fine, but we won't tell you where else in the car we broke in. You'll just have to hope it isn't on the spots you guys are sitting." Edward teased.

"Crap, I don't want to sit in that." Emmett complained. All Edward and I could do at that point was laugh. No use being embarrassed about it anymore. Not going to solve anything.

We all piled into the car, the other passengers looking at their seats a little nervously. We parted ways and all went to our separate rooms, to rest up for our busy day tomorrow.

We all woke up early to go to breakfast before making our way to the amusement parks. We decided to do Disney Parks the first day, then Universal the next. On the third day we planned to go to Disney Quest, then wander around after, just taking in whatever else we could in Orlando, and go to Old Town. We did all the rides, took lots of pictures, and ate all sorts of junk food. It was fun getting to see the Cinderella Castle and the night parade. The fireworks over the castle were beautiful. Having Edward wrapped around me, whispering sweet things in my ear, and placing loving kisses on my neck made it even better.

Universal and Islands of Adventure were great the next day. We went on all the roller coasters and rides, with repeated visits on Dueling Dragons and Hulk. I really didn't think I'd be a fan of the roller coasters, but once they forced me on one, never letting go of Edward's hand, they couldn't get me off of them. We went to watch their fireworks that night, which were just as amazing as Disney's. We all sprawled out on the grass steps next to the river. We went out again that night, exploring the city nightlife there. We managed to find some fun stuff to get into, and a rousing game of mini-golf, which Alice kicked all of our butts in.

The next day we made it to Disney Quest, which is there indoor center for interactive gaming. They had virtual reality games, loads of classic arcade games, and every other type of game you could imagine. We went on Pirates of the Caribbean multiple times. It was so much fun. You walk onto a ship bow, with your 3-D glasses, and the cannons and steer your ship while everyone else shoots cannonballs at all the other ships. We played all the other games, before leaving, then went out to Old Town. We spent at least an hour in Black Market Minerals, looking at all the rocks and gems. They made some incredible things out of the rocks they found.

We also went into Old Town Antique Portrait Studio and had some old photos taken of us. It was a lot of fun dressing up as old time crooks and saloon girls. Though, Jasper looked right at home dressed up like an old time cowboy. Hearing him talk on top of it just completed the whole set up. He had us cracking up with how far he was going into character. It just made the pictures even better, more realistic. After dinner and a show at Medieval Times, and Rosalie being picked to be the princess, and getting to have the knights fight for her, we finally left Orlando. We decided to head to Melbourne to stay for a couple days before heading down to the Treasure Coast for the concert.

In Melbourne, we mostly spent all of our time at the beach. We had cook outs and played games to pass the two days. We even made a trip up to Cocoa Beach, and went to Ron Jon's Surf shop. Alice had a blast making sure to get us new bathing suits and cover ups. Like we really needed more...

We then made our way south a bit to the Treasure Coast. It was a smaller city. Nowhere near as small as Forks, but not really true city sized either. We found a nice hotel out by the beach, and enjoyed hanging out on the beach at night, watching the waves crash against the shore, spending a bit of time just enjoying each others company, instead of going out again. Not that there is really much to do if we did decide to go out. I think while driving through town, we saw bowling alleys, pool halls, movie theaters, and then The Mojo Room, but we would be there this weekend for the concert.

Finally it was concert day! We were all excited and spent the day at Irish festivals, seeing as it was the weekend before St. Patrick's Day, then went back to the hotel to get ready. We all got ready, making sure to wear some green, seeing as it was the theme for tonight, then made our way back into town for the One concert. I had heard them a bit on the radio before and fell in love with the music. I then got Edward into it after we reunited, then managed to introduce it to the rest of the group. They now only play once a year in there home town. It seems one of the members, John, opened a club there, so that's where they hold the annual reunion tour. I was so excited to see them perform live.

We got in and secured places up front, listening to the local bands play and warm up the stage. They were surprisingly really good. I wouldn't be surprised to hear them on the radio some time in the future.

Then it was time. The club darkened again, and the crowd started going. We had already seen quite the mosh pit already, I was a little nervous about how big it would be during One, but with the guys behind us, I figured we would be okay. We secured spots right upfront, about three feet from the band. They came out to lots of screams and roars, getting a very warm welcome. They started playing and everyone went crazy. Lots of jumping and moshing. Two of them even took their first stage dives over us. Edward stayed close behind me the whole time, with his arms wrapped around me, occasionally loosening his grip so I could jump and sing/ yell along with the music. When they started playing "Never Need" Edward leaned down to rest his chin on my shoulder, and took to singing verses in my ear.

I'll be your reason, I'll be your hope inside

I'll be your promise, if all your dreams have died

I'll be your meaning, a sight you'll never see

I hope you never want, but it's always there if you need

When I introduced him to the band, I told him that this song would help get me through the nights in Phoenix. I used to listen to it when I went to sleep, imagining him singing it to me, soothing me. Letting me know that he would be there for me when I needed him most. I'm still amazed that he was there when I needed him the most, and that we could rekindle all we had lost over time. Now the song holds the reminder of everything I went through to get to this point in my life.

The rest of the concert was great. I was so ecstatic that I got to see them perform live. It was very much worth coming down to see. And the finale with them performing Control Freak was overwhelming, between them rocking out, and the crowd all singing and moving, it was a great way to end the night. I even managed to get signatures from all the band members. It was a great night.

We made it back to the hotel, getting our stuff together for our trip back to New Hampshire and cold weather the next day.


	26. Chapter 26

Authors note...

Holy Crap! A new chapter...I bet you never thought this day would come. I've finally gotten to a point where I can write again! Yay! I finished this story, finally (only two years later) and if you're still with me I wanted to let you know that I changed some stuff in the already posted story, nothing dramatic, just made it flow a little better. I do finally have an ending and will be reposting the finished story. I am replacing all the chapters, so I'm not sure if you'll get any alerts until the new chapters come out. Even though its written doesn't mean it's permanent, so if there is anything you want to see happen at the end, or in an outtake, let me know and I'll see what I can do if it fits with the story. I hope you enjoy!

I Also added an EPOV to Chapter 3, so you can see what was going through his mind when Charlie walked in on them...

Now on with the story...

Chapter 26

BPOV

Things have been all sorts of hectic over the past year and some. But luckily it is now time to graduate. Yay! I'm just glad to finally be out of school. It's finally time we can leave this area, and get our careers going and settle into happy little lives together.

Well, I'm hoping for the happy life, settling in with Edward while he starts his residency, and I find a publishing job. I was actually looking forward to getting married and years down the road having a few little mini-Edwards running around.

However, I'm beginning to think that Edward has other plans. I was getting sort of excited, thinking Edward was going to propose at some point. Over the past year he had mentioned a forever with me, and we even discussed the whole 'dream wedding' thing. It wasn't something I had put much stock into before, but while discussing it with him, we came up with this completely irrational perfect wedding. It would take place in the early summer, in Ireland, surrounded by rolling hills, with all of the wildflowers in bloom. I would carry a small bouquet with my favorite wildflowers in a harmony of various colors. It would be small, just our immediate family and friends, then we could explore it and the connecting countries for our honeymoon.

That sounded absolutely perfect to me, but I'm watching as that dream is flying out the window, only to land in a stream and be washed away, beating on rocks, then going through a waterfall into a deep violent death. Edward has barely spent any time with me, much less had a real conversation with me for the past few months. At first I chalked it up to all the standardized tests and entrance exams he had to study for and take for his graduate schools. Once those were done though, and he had his acceptance letter and all, I thought life would go back to normal.

I was wrong.

If possible, I actually saw him less after that. I would ask him where he was, or what was going on, and he would just mumble and stutter, then leave. He didn't even have to gall to fake a response, and give me something to hold on to. Not that I want him to lie. But seriously, if you are going out of your way to ignore your supposed 'love of your life' put some effort behind it. I mean, really.

I was surprised he actually asked me out for dinner tonight. Nothing fancy, which is fine, preferred really. I'm just afraid it will be a break up dinner. I really can't handle that. Not from him, if it were anyone else, I could. I really don't think I could survive losing him again. He once told me he couldn't imagine losing me again either. It's times like this I wish I had a voice recorder of all of our conversations so I could replay them, and throw all the lies he's told me and promises he's going to break in his face. Maybe then I would feel a little better.

I can't even figure out what to wear. I'm fighting between "You're breaking up with me, so I'm just gonna look like shit, since I don't have to impress you anymore and you obviously don't care anyway," or "I'm going to look super hot so you can see what you'll be missing." Maybe that's the problem. He won't miss it. Since our spring break last year, our sex life has taken up more of our life. We started slow, but built to where we are, well, were, until about five months ago, having a pretty good amount of it. But with our drop in time together, we lost that as well.

I really don't want to think he is cheating on me. I know though, that when we were separated, he slept around a bit. Then I know he wanted more with me when we got back together, though he never pushed, thankfully. So the fact that we got that, then he stopped partaking in that with me, only leaves me to think that I really wasn't good enough for him, and now he has to be getting it somewhere else. He couldn't possibly just not feel like it anymore, there would have to be a reason. He's also seemed pretty constantly exhausted lately. Once again, I tried to convince myself it was in preparation of next year, but yet again, it got worse after all th plans were in place.

Oh well. I guess I will settle for comfortable sexy, the best of both worlds. I really don't think my wardrobe will change his mind. Don't be fooled though, I am not going down without a fight, if I have the energy for one when we finally meet. With the back and forth crying and anger I've been experiencing because of it today, I'm feeling rather drained. I wonder if I can ask him to postpone the break up, so I can have the energy to beg him not to leave. He hasn't even wanted to go apartment shopping with me for our new home we will need when we move to his new school. He said it wasn't necessary.

I got dressed quickly, opting for my favorite pair of tight dark flair bottom pants, and a dressy emerald tank top with lace trim on top and bottom. It's my favorite top, so I figured I should wear it one last time. If he is breaking my heart tonight, I will probably burn anything I have in this shade of green tomorrow. I don't need that type of reminder, I will have plenty of other reminders of how wonderful my life actually managed to turn out for a year. At least I got something. I should be grateful for the time I did have with him. Okay, now I just sound like he died. This is shitty.

I put on some makeup and left my hair down and wavy. I put on my shoes just as the doorbell rang. That's odd. I didn't know anyone was coming over. I didn't think it would be Edward, he does live here, he shouldn't be ringing the doorbell.

I went to answer the door, and was taken back at the sight before me. Edward was in fact at the door. He was holding two purple tulips, but I barely noticed them. What I focused on more was the amazing specimen of hotness in front of me.

He was wearing a pair of dark worn in pants, that hung low on his hips, but were still fitted enough to give you a good idea of the form underneath. He was wearing a long sleeve button down black dress shirt, with the top couple buttons undone, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He also had on his glasses, which always made me weak in the knees. He usually had contacts, but had recently started having issues with the cleansing solution. So I've been in glasses wearing Edward induced sexual frustration world lately. Not a happy place to be. If I ever get to sleep with him again, I am demanding he wear them the whole time. I don't care if I have to steal him away from his new girlfriend and drag him into a back alleyway, it's on.

"Hi" he says, bringing me out of my little world of happy.

"Hey, why didn't you just come it?" I ask, it seemed relevant.

"I wanted to do things proper, so it seemed appropriate to ring the doorbell when picking you up for the date. Here, these are for you." He answered, ducking his head. He seemed to be a little nervous. Probably hoping I wasn't going to make a scene when he dumps me later at the restaurant.

"Thank you. Let me put them in some water and we can go." I ran to the kitchen quickly, and carefully. Didn't need to add and injury to this evening. Though if it prolongs us being together, I would happily offer up any body part.

I put them in a vase I had from one of the many times he had sent my flowers in the past, then grabbed my jacket and went back to the door. "All set." I told him, locking the door and heading out with him.

He held out his arm for me, and I took it gladly, grateful for any contact I could have with him right now. God I feel pathetic. I never thought I would be so happy just to touch his arm, trying to find ways to trick someone into staying with me. This is why I gave up dating. I was too hurt from Edward years ago, and knew I couldn't handle this again. Then, not only do I fall for someone, but it's the same one who broke my heart to begin with, but now I'm going to let him do it again. I am pathetic. Maybe I will have myself committed after tonight. I'll let them put me in a straitjacket and all. I wonder if they come in black, whites just to aaahhhh. Wow, Alice moment. That was creepy.

He led me to the Volvo, and opened my door for me. I got in and grabbed his hand as soon as he got in on his side. We drove in a now very familiar silence to a local Italian place. He helped me back out of the car and put his hand on the small of m back as we entered the establishment. They led us to a reserved booth in the back, in a secluded area.

We sat on opposite sides, and made shallow mindless conversation as we decided what we would eat, and gave our order to the server. The conversation stayed pretty much the same way while we ate our food. Finally when the server took our dishes and we waited for our dessert, I had had enough.

"So, why are we here? I assume it's for something bigger than just random chit chat. We haven't gone on a date in months, and now that we are its full of tension and awkward silences. This isn't us Edward, what's going on?" I asked, almost pleading, trying to suppress the tears I could already feel threatening to appear.

"I'm sorry I've been so distant lately. I've had a lot of stuff to take care of in preparation for this summer. I didn't want things to get like this between us, and I take full blame. I've just been really distracted lately. I've had a lot of planning to do and it's taken up a lot more of my time then I expected. I would like to make it up to you though, and share with you what I was working on." He responded, looking at me from under his eyelashes. He had a glimmer of hope in his eyes, it looked like he had a lot riding on this conversation, which seemed odd to me.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked.

"Well, I thought, maybe we could go away for a bit this summer, before I start my residency and you start your career. I was hoping we could spend some time together. Would you agree to go with me?"

"Of course, you know I would happily go anywhere you are. So, where are we going?" I asked, sighing and letting go of the anxiety I had been feeling all day. I could already feel weight lifting from my shoulders. Though, I would still need to talk to him about the distance he's had from me.

"Here, see for yourself." He said, looking up into my eyes. His crooked smile back on his face and his confidence coming back a bit. He held out a long envelope to me. I took it in my hands and opened it, curious as to what would be inside.

As I removed another small envelope, I saw an airline name scrolled across the front of it. I slowly pulled out the tickets. I looked at the type on the top, only pulling them halfway out, and saw Ireland as the destination. My heart fluttered. So maybe we could never get married there, which I always knew, but at least we could visit. I twitched a bit with my excitement, trying to stop myself from another Alice moment of bouncing and squealing, when something shiny on the ticket caught my eye.

I looked toward the middle of the ticket, and sitting on top was a beautiful yellow gold ring. It puckered in the middle, with a gold ribbon starting on the top of one side, then following the line of the ring to the bottom of the other side, the middle holding a tiffany setting to a carat diamond. It was absolutely perfect. I looked back up to Edward, still in shock, to see him now on one knee next to the side of my bench.

He took my hand free hand, coincidentally it was my left hand, in both of his, then let his eyes meet mine.

EPOV

The past few months have been hell. It's completely worth it in the end. I really hope she likes it. I know she's never been big on surprises, but she's never been big on weddings either. Hopefully surprising her with a wedding won't be too bad. I figure, she won't have to worry about planning it, or making any actual decisions about it, so that will be a good thing with her.

I've been getting her to talk 'in theory' about her dream wedding for a while, to get ideas of what she wanted. Then I took them to heart, and spent the last five months planning it. I was hoping she wouldn't get suspicious, that she wouldn't notice any difference. However, planning an overseas wedding is a lot more tedious than I ever thought, especially in the time frame I'm working with.

I really hope she appreciates it.

I really hope she'll say yes.

Getting ready for the date was almost more nerve wrecking than trying to get into med school. I just wanted everything to be perfect. I have no idea what she has thought over the past few months. If she even tried to justify why I haven't been around as much. I hope she doesn't think anything bad. I could never hurt her, not on purpose, I hope she knows that.

I got ready at Emmett's with him in the background going between giving me pep talks, and threatening my life if I ever hurt her. I think that was aiding to my nervousness.

I finally made my way to our apartment, deciding to treat it like a real date and ring the doorbell, instead of just walking in.

Bella looked beautiful as always in her green top and dark jeans. I offered her my arm and led her out to the car. I tried to keep my cool as we drove to the restaurant. I noticed she looked a bit worried on the way there and throughout dinner. I really wish I could know what she was thinking sometimes. I didn't know what she had to be nervous about. I was the one putting myself on the line tonight.

Dinner was good. The food was great. The conversation wasn't great but I couldn't put in as much effort as I wanted. My nerves were knotting themselves up trying to think of what to say to her, how to get my question out. I wanted to plan a speech and explain how I felt about her, and what she meant, but I could never seem to word it the right way. So I figured maybe this was a time to just hope the right words came to you when needed.

I almost had a panic when she started pushing me along by asking questions. I should have figured she was bring it up first. She isn't the most patient when she knows something is up.

I hated seeing how worried she had become about our relationship, and it gave me the push I needed to proceed.

"I'm sorry I've been so distant lately. I've had a lot of stuff to take care of in preparation for this summer. I didn't want things to get like this between us, and I take full blame. I've just been really distracted lately. I've had a lot of planning to do and it's taken up a lot more of my time then I expected. I would like to make it up to you though, and share with you what I was working on." I began.

I was thrilled that she still wanted to be with me and would follow me where ever I went. It gave me hope for a positive answer on the important question.

My nerves starting creeping back up as she opened the envelope. No words had entered my head yet on how to continue.

Finally, she found the ring. As she picked it up to look at it, I could see the happiness and hope flood her eyes, and a beautiful smile light up her face. I slipped to my knee next to her, holding her left hand in both of mine.

"I wanted to have a whole speech, to tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me and how happy you make me. But words just can't envelope all I feel for you, or what you do to me. After everything you've done for me, and as happy as you make me, I want to feel bad for asking a favor of you, but please my Bella, make me the happiest man alive, say you'll marry me. I promise to spend the rest of our lives making you the happ..."

I had more though out, but was cut off mid sentence by a pair of lips crashing down into mine. I could feel her arms wrapping around my neck as her hands went into my hair, as she dropped to her knees in front of me. I could vaguely hear applause in the distance, but didn't give much notice to it. I much rather focus on the wonderful girl kissing me. She grazed my lip with her tongue, and I happily gave her entrance. Our mouths worked together for a few moments until my smile became too big to allow us to continue.

"Can I take that as a yes, or was that just a really gracious no?" I lightly joked, but just really wanted to hear her say the words.

"Of course it's a yes. There was never any other answer." She replied, sharing the same large smile I had. I reached for the ring then, putting it on her finger and kissing it in its new permanent place upon her hand.

We left shortly after, being showered with well wishes and hopes of good luck. We somehow made it back to the apartment in a haze of pure bliss. The rest of night was spent privately celebrating. Leaving the spreading of the good news to be done the next day.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N; Before you get into the last chapter, I just wanted to thank those who read and the amazing few who reviewed this story. I loved reading the feedback, it really made my days. This was the first story I wrote in years and felt so good to get back into. Now that I've gotten the feel for it again, I plan to write more, hopefully they will continue to get better. Thank you all again for reading, hope you enjoy.

Chapter 27

BPOV

"So when do we get to go to Ireland? I forgot to check with all the excitement going on last night.."

"And this morning." He added with a smug grin. "We leave next week. I thought it would be better to go soon, so we have more time to explore before we have to come back and get ready for real life. Alice already has your stuff all packed, mine as well I believe. So we just get to enjoy this week together, and get any last minute things we need. Then we head out. Is that okay for you?"

"Yeah, it sounds great. How did she pack my stuff already? I didn't notice anything missing from my closet or dresser."

"I believe she decided a whole new wardrobe was appropriate for this trip. I agreed to it as long as she didn't bother you to go shopping. I know how much you hate it."

"Thanks. I guess we should get up soon and tell them. Otherwise the pixie will somehow know something major happened and will start banging down our door til we tell her."

We were still laying in bed after our exhausting, but very fun, night. There was still nothing better than waking up to a naked god wrapped around you.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

We got up and showered shortly after, and met the gang for brunch. No one seemed overly surprised by the news. I would guess Edward had discussed it with them before hand, but they were all acting, badly mind you, like they didn't know.

The next week was nice, like a pre-vacation vacation. The parents all took the news very well, and were excited for us, even my dad. They said they would see us after our trip, as they didn't have time to visit with us before we left.

Getting on the plane was a little nerve-wracking for me. I've never had an issue with them before, but I had never gone this far in one either.

The flight went better than expected. It was mostly spent cuddled to Edward, and talking about everything we wanted to see and do.

Over the first week, we visited a lot of tourist spots, starting in Dublin and working our way out. It was such a gorgeous place to visit. I had to stop myself from making comments to Edward about just getting married while we were there. I knew there had to be a lot that went into being married over seas, we wouldn't have enough time to do it while we were here. I was almost upset he didn't save this trip til our honeymoon. I understood though, once he started back up into medical school, and I got going with a career, we wouldn't have the time to come back. I am glad we got to take this chance while we had it though.

A week after we arrived in Dublin, Edward rented a car and we prepared for a drive east. We stopped frequently along the way to see the countryside and take pictures. I was going to have so many to show our friends when we returned. We stayed overnight at a little inn, and left after an early breakfast.

Finally, as we hit near the coast, Edward started taking smaller roads, until we came up to a beautiful castle. It was absolutely magical. Not like Hogwarts magical, more of an extreme beauty. It was set right on the lack, and surrounded by streams and mountains. I was completely blown away that we were at a place like that, and surprised that he knew of it enough to find his way there.

"You like it?" He asked as he helped me out of the car.

"I love it, it's amazing. What are we doing here?"

"Getting married." He answered nonchalantly, with his crooked grin in place.

"What do you mean, I am nowhere near properly dressed for a wedding! Edward..."

"Calm down love. I didn't mean today. We still have a couple of days til the wedding." He answered like I should have known what he was talking about. I was still completely flabbergasted.

He finally turned to me, taking my hands in his and letting his eyes meet mine. "I've already planned it all out. This is what I've been doing those months that you were so worried about. I wanted everything to be perfect for you. I know you never wanted to put much thought into weddings. I didn't want you to have to stress about getting everything ready or planned either. I thought this way, it could be everything you wanted, and you could just enjoy it. So, I arranged everything we would need, with the help of our friends and family, and we are getting married here this week. If its okay by you that is."

"You just don't know how to do anything small do you? This is amazing Edward, of course it's okay!" I jumped in his arms after my last words and planted kisses over any part of his face I could reach.

"As much as I'd love to stay here and see where this takes us, everyone is inside waiting for us."

After a small Alice like squee I grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the Castle.

We spent the next couple days enjoying the area with our family. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose of course were there, along with Esme, Carlisle and Charlie. I asked about my mom, not sure if she was invited or not. I found out she was, but never responded. Charlie said he called her when they hadn't heard anything, and found out she wasn't approving of any wedding I was having. I guess she was upset that all of that preaching she did didn't stick with me. Oh well. I would miss her at my wedding, but didn't want to be around people who couldn't be happy with us.

Alice showed me my dress the first night there, it was stunning, and simple. Everything I could hope for. It fit along my body nicely, loosening a bit from my hips down. It was an ivory satin, covered by a light lace. It had a v-neck cut and about one inch straps that led to another low v-cut on the back. It fit perfectly.

It seemed like the days leading to the wedding were a blur. Before I knew it, we were all dressed and ready, me on my fathers arm, walking down a natural grass aisle, between rows of wildflowers, and surrounded by those I love. My wonderful fiancé stood at the end, waiting for me.

I wish I could remember all that was said, but all sound evaded me when I locked eyes with my Edward. All there was was him. I know I repeated words as needed, and made sure I said "I do". Next I knew they were pronouncing us husband and wife and my lips were met with his. I'm so glad I'll have a video of this.

The haze didn't lift over the next few days either. With the excitement of the wedding and having everyone here with us, it seemed to get better everyday. We all explored around the area, discovering all we could and enjoying our time together before the others left to give Edward and I a couple weeks alone to enjoy our new status.

The night before everyone left, our friends, my husband and myself went to explore some of the areas around the castle. We came to a cliff overlooking the streams flowing into one another as the sun set. Each couple had paired up and we snuggled together watching the colors of the sun falling, and how beautiful nature looked at this magical time of day.

It made me wonder how much magic- _fate_- had an affect on our lives. After losing Edward, and all that happened until finding him again, I never thought my life would work out so well. Running into him, and meeting our friends and the amazing life I fell into since, it only seems right to think a little magic was involved. I knew, now that I had these amazing people in my life, that we could get through anything the future could think up for us.

As long as we have each other.


End file.
